[Giovonny]

This is something that I'm always talking about here on the forum. This is the reason I got involved in game.

This is what is holding most guys back from living the life the want.

I'm talking about fear. And, how to get rid of it.

Why won't guys approach that girl? Fear.

Why won't guys actively try to better themselves? Fear.

Why won't guys break out of their comfort zone? Fear.

Why won't guys live the lifestyle they want? Fear.

Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of change. Fear of what society will think. Fear of what people will say. Fear of what your parents will think. Fear of success. Fear of being yourself. Fear that you are not good enough. Fear of becoming a new man.

It's all bullshit. Fear exists only in our mind. It only has power if we give it power.

What's the old saying - "We have nothing to fear except fear itself"

Changing your life is hard work and its intense. It can be scary. Don't run and hide from fear. Face it and eliminate it. Your cock will thank you!

Here is a post to help you get started. Let me know if you have questions.

I love this shit. I approach women with direct day game not only for the pussy, but also because it's an exercise in fearlessness, and fearlessness brings even more pussy.

[WestCoast]

The second one, for guys who have been doing this for a long time is "morals". That creeps up from time and time again. Then I just think that it's going to go back to the same again and away we go with being a heart breaker.

Perhaps morals are just for the weak.

[I'mWaitingForTheMan]

What the fuck man have you been taking that NZT-48 shit? You're scaring me. Is this Gio or Bradley Cooper in Limitless? I'm going full on cave-man at some point on my date tonight, you have inspired me sir.

[Aliblahba]

(09-04-2012 05:05 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  

The second one, for guys who have been doing this for a long time is "morals". That creeps up from time and time again. Then I just think that it's going to go back to the same again and away we go with being a heart breaker.

Perhaps morals are just for the weak.

No.

[Giovonny]

(09-04-2012 05:05 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  

Perhaps morals are just for the weak.

A playboy can have morals too. If you notice, the people without morals are often the weak people. Or, sometimes, the people without morals have limited options and resources.

Machiavellianism is an issue in all of this but we don't want to purposely hurt people and disregard their feelings.

If we are honest about our intentions, we won't break any hearts.

I just tell girls - "I like you but I'm not ready for a serious relationship". I don't mislead them or play games with them.

I feel I can be a morally healthy person and still bang multiple girls.

Heart breaking stems from dishonesty and misrepresentating of yourself.

(09-04-2012 05:08 PM)ImWaitingForTheMan Wrote:  

What the fuck man have you been taking that NZT-48 shit? You're scaring me. Is this Gio or Bradley Cooper in Limitless? I'm going full on cave-man at some point on my date tonight, you have inspired me sir.

I don't know what nzt-48 is but I will watch that movie now that you mention it!

[WesternCancer]

I fear failure.

"I could get straight as if I actually put in some effort"

"I can get any girl I want because I'm awesome and have game"

"I could master a skill or start a successful business if I really wanted to"

Meanwhile I am average and lazy putting in minimal effort to achieve goals. Ie I'm scared that if I actually try to get straight as I might actually fail or not do all that much better than I'm currently doing.

[WestCoast]

Morals as in sleeping with taken women. Them knowing you're a player helps, in the back of my mind I feel bad for the guy though. That's what I mean by morals.

Roosh had a post on the USA turning into needing to steal girls with boyfriends and I agree. Would never do that to a friend but to a random guy? Oh well

[slubu]

Complete idiocy. That's what's holding me back, and sometimes ill-founded beliefs that the approach won't work for X, Y or Z. Case in point:

FRIDAY: Opened a hot girl, she was receptive and I let it die for no reason. No reason!

SATURDAY: Gave a cig to a girl, she was leaving and invited me to come to the club with her. Didn't go, again for what reason? Leaving my friends behind at the other club? Cause I just went to that club the night before? Stupid.

SATURDAY PART II: Two girls next to me at a bar, having a very intense conversation. Thought about opening them, then decided they will be way into their conversation and not want to talk to a guy. 30 seconds later another guy just barges his way into the conversation, and within minutes he's making out with one girl while his buddy is dancing with the other. I'm an idiot, why else would two girls be drinking at a bar at 2:30 a.m.???

SUNDAY: Girl smiles at me in the club as she's walking by. I almost go after her but then I don't. I did have a girl I was working on but she was away from me at that moment. Another girl just dancing by herself, again I don't go up to her. All stupidity.

SUNDAY PART II: See three girls at a bar table, 2 guys. One is disengaged from the conversation. No reason whatsoever, I don't approach. Later I see her eating food by herself (though I was with another girl I did approach cold, so couldn't approach her there). Nonetheless I still was upset at not approaching.

What's the converse to all this? How great it feels to consider approaching, doing it, and realizing shit works. Few weeks ago I waited all night to approach this one girl, and just said fuck it I have to do it and ended up having a wild threesome that night just because I opened my mouth. A year ago I remember just forcing myself to say anything to this one girl, did so and had sex with her on the 1st date. Had a bad date last week, said fuck it I'll just go out to the bars myself and ended up bringing a girl back home. Obviously these are not the norm but I don't know why when I know there is no negative in approaching I sometimes still don't for some reason.

It's amazing, I approach like a madman. I'd say anywhere from 5-20 approaches everytime I go out. Yet I always regret every single approach I don't make, no matter what the circumstances.

[WestCoast]

Regret Lasts Forever. Don't let this continue.

You are the man in her life, she wants to meet you she wants to fall in love with you, she wants to see you, she wants to sleep with you. You are ruining her life by not talking to her.

(09-04-2012 07:57 PM)slubu Wrote:  

Complete idiocy. That's what's holding me back, and sometimes ill-founded beliefs that the approach won't work for X, Y or Z. Case in point:

FRIDAY: Opened a hot girl, she was receptive and I let it die for no reason. No reason!

SATURDAY: Gave a cig to a girl, she was leaving and invited me to come to the club with her. Didn't go, again for what reason? Leaving my friends behind at the other club? Cause I just went to that club the night before? Stupid.

SATURDAY PART II: Two girls next to me at a bar, having a very intense conversation. Thought about opening them, then decided they will be way into their conversation and not want to talk to a guy. 30 seconds later another guy just barges his way into the conversation, and within minutes he's making out with one girl while his buddy is dancing with the other. I'm an idiot, why else would two girls be drinking at a bar at 2:30 a.m.???

SUNDAY: Girl smiles at me in the club as she's walking by. I almost go after her but then I don't. I did have a girl I was working on but she was away from me at that moment. Another girl just dancing by herself, again I don't go up to her. All stupidity.

SUNDAY PART II: See three girls at a bar table, 2 guys. One is disengaged from the conversation. No reason whatsoever, I don't approach. Later I see her eating food by herself (though I was with another girl I did approach cold, so couldn't approach her there). Nonetheless I still was upset at not approaching.

What's the converse to all this? How great it feels to consider approaching, doing it, and realizing shit works. Few weeks ago I waited all night to approach this one girl, and just said fuck it I have to do it and ended up having a wild threesome that night just because I opened my mouth. A year ago I remember just forcing myself to say anything to this one girl, did so and had sex with her on the 1st date. Had a bad date last week, said fuck it I'll just go out to the bars myself and ended up bringing a girl back home. Obviously these are not the norm but I don't know why when I know there is no negative in approaching I sometimes still don't for some reason.

It's amazing, I approach like a madman. I'd say anywhere from 5-20 approaches everytime I go out. Yet I always regret every single approach I don't make, no matter what the circumstances.

[pitt]

Thats so true, so true, its just so true haha.

And guess what, when you apply this non fear shit in all areas of your life, you become so powerful, you feel like the best guy in the whole wide world.

I think the reason number one why i have always been a happy person is because i always did what i really wanted to do, i never thought about what other people would say. I have close people telling me that i should think about my future and that if i continue on travelling non stop i wont have anything to show later in life. I just tell them good idea but apply this in your life, i go on holiday all the time and when i come back home, i still have more money than you, i guess my strategy is better than yours.

Talking of fearlessness let me share the experience i had last night. So last night after the labour day party, i go to this reggae club here in NY. While im inside the club, i started talking to this chick, and then i kissed her and she is just whining on me while we were talking. She later asked me if i wanted to get some fresh air outside the club, i told her ok lets go. I go out with her and her friend. While we outside we walked to this grocery store right next to the club. I see these street dudes outside the club, staring at me like they hating, im not even paying attention to them so its nothing...i can tell one of them wanted to talk to the girl that my girl was with..so i tell him, yo go ahead, talk to her..he approaches her and she quickly blocked him with the "i have a boyfriend" line..he is like ok...so now he tells MY girl that his friend wants to talk to her.. i quickly tell him "yo thats my girl"..he is like ok kool.this old man and this other woman that were also outside the grocery store started laughing..im not getting it..i asked this woman..whats funny? She tells me..i loved the way you said "yo thats my girl", thats whats up"... i am sure the majority of dudes would be scaried of these dudes because they looked really hood but come on, you aint going to disrespect me like that..and guess what..this girl is texting me non stop now..im probably fucking her during the week.

My friend two days ago told me that is hard to live a life where he doesnt give a fuck about what people would think..his mindset is so dangerous,im glad i dont have such a mindset.

[Veloce]

I have the stupidest reasons holding me back.

Poor venues.

No car.

Unwillingness to spend money on cabs.

I approach consistently but only at the venues that are walking distance to my apartment. At one point one of them yielded great results, then I don't know what happened. I'm currently busting my ass off for marginal results.

My frequency of new bangs has slowed waaaayyyy down, which I'm finding is also a converse relationship to the fact that I've been working out 6 days a week and also working more. I'm okay with it temporarily, I like the money and physical rewards, but I miss the days of living off of unemployment and fucking 4 different girls in a week.

[IpsaScientiaPotestasEst]

(09-04-2012 05:08 PM)ImWaitingForTheMan Wrote:  

What the fuck man have you been taking that NZT-48 shit? You're scaring me. Is this Gio or Bradley Cooper in Limitless? I'm going full on cave-man at some point on my date tonight, you have inspired me sir.

Always think of this whenever I think of getting over your fears

http://youtu.be/MF5q_4tXDLk

[Bacchus]

And that's why acknowledging your own mortality, as Roosh has written about, is so powerful. Once you realize that your time is finite, how can you wait around? How can you let the things you want out of life pass you by? How can you live a life in fear, when you have already conquered the most basic one? Those fears that used to paralyze you lose their power.

[Screwston]

Gio - I put another thread where you talked about this in my sig. You need to put ALL of your fear posts in one thread man haha.

Go hard like Tony Montana and push it to the limit.

[All or Nothing]

(09-04-2012 04:41 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Quote

You know what helped me become less of a pussy, I worked graveyard shift at a convenience store over summer. It helped out a lot.

Also, as I have gotten into affirmations from reading through Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle, I have begun to tell myself "I am not a pussy, I am a man" multiple times a day everyday.

Both of those things have really helped me.

[Teekay]

What's holding me back is my unbelievably well developed ability to rationalize why this is not the right time to approach, every time. Motherfucker just sits there in the back of my head with the sole purpose of talking me out of any fun & dangerous situation.

[Tengen]

Complete fucking disdain for women and their hamsters. I am still working on reconciling this disdain with my desire to fuck them.

[reino341]

Poor venues, but yeah I could always day game (1 #close yesterday) on weekdays but I find it weird and not as much fun as night game.

I went out yesterday night and managed to do around 5 approaches, the clubs etc. are just so scarcely populated you can't really do much.

[starmaze]

Quote:

First of all, I agree with "Ugslayer" 100%......"fearless" is the key word in all of this. I don't even do this shit for the pussy anymore, I do it for the "fearlessness", seriously....The more fearless i am, the more girls approach me, the more jobs i get offered, the more respect and power i get in my local community....which of course leads to more girls. But the girls are a "by-product" of me being fearless. I don't care about girls....I only care about conquering my fear...

Quote:

I love this shit. I approach women with direct day game not only for the pussy, but also because it's an exercise in fearlessness, and fearlessness brings even more pussy.

I can 100% relate to this Gio.As much as I am attracted to hot girls I approach them also because I want to free myself from fear. And as Gio wrote in his old post I found this confidence from cold approaching also affects other areas of your life and brings it to new level. I loved that feeling when I literally could come over to girl in front of people and told her I found her attractive with charm and confidence.
The key thing is consistency here though. After couple of months of regular approaching and feeling like a god I got lazy and stopped. That was a year ago. After some time my fear started to creep out again. Now I have to struggle with AA again. If I kept on with approaching regularly I would be a confidence beast by this time.

So instead of approaching of special times I think one should make it a part of daily routine. The goal is to make it a habit. Once it become your second nature it will feel natural for you to approach every time and every place. So the key is making approaching a part of who you are.

[at350zguyy]

Nice thread, Gio. This topic should not only apply to fear of approaching women, but fear of taking some major risks in life. Career changes, moving to new territory, etc.

[Lothario]

Excellent Thread Giovanny, I would like to talk to you sometime on what's holding me back, It is a very unique situation that I wouldn't want to discuss on the public forum.

All your posts on managing fear are awsome.......

[presidentcarter]

My problem is saying the right things...or having something to say at all - all rooted in FEAR most likely. If I'm relaxed and in the right mood, I'm talkative, but I've never been one to tell jokes or stories per se. I have friends tell me that I don't talk a lot but when I do say someting it is usually material and has meaning/thought behind it.

This is obviously a hinderance in cold approaches. What should I do? Focus on routines? Read a shit load and just have converstaion fodder when needed?

This is the most lacking part of my Game.

[reino341]

(09-05-2012 11:17 AM)presidentcarter Wrote:  

My problem is saying the right things...or having something to say at all - all rooted in FEAR most likely. If I'm relaxed and in the right mood, I'm talkative, but I've never been one to tell jokes or stories per se. I have friends tell me that I don't talk a lot but when I do say someting it is usually material and has meaning/thought behind it.

This is obviously a hinderance in cold approaches. What should I do? Focus on routines? Read a shit load and just have converstaion fodder when needed?

This is the most lacking part of my Game.

One of my recent epiphanies, so to speak, has been that interview style questions aren't actually that bad when you're still warming up early in the evening. It's just important to not subcommunicate desperation, to have a strong frame and to be physical.

[Cookie]

Right now I'm being held back by poor logistics and small female pool.

When I've been going out, I keep running into the same people all the time. I know I'm supposed to be Mr. Super Alpha "who gives a fuck, I'll just do my thing." But that's not really going to work in this situation.

To counter this I've been putting D-Day level planning into weekend trips to other colleges within the area. I'm going on my first mission Thursday night, and look forward to reporting back on whether or not this method is successful.

[markus]

Excellent post Gio. Confidence is key to success in life with women or otherwise. Fear is a great killer of life. Most excuses people make in life are based on their fears or insecurities. Approaching beautiful women takes balls and is a great way to build your confidence