[yoyo]

I've read and read and read and for some reason I freakin cannot do it. I can say some stupid bullshit if we are at the bar and some girl is standing next to me or something. But I can not walk over to a group of girls and say something. I was at this happy hour on Friday night and I see these two chicks and I can't just walk over there and say something. I would do anything to just fucking do it.

For the most part in life i get hot chicks, but it's never because i pick them up at a bar. I usually meet them through friends or odd situations. I want to be able to go out at night, see some chicks that I think are hot and then walk over there and pick them up. I know the basics of the game, the neg, the opener etc.... But I fucking cannot get over the hump. Maybe a workshop is what I need where someone will just push me over the cliff.

Just trying to figure out how you guys did it? Did you simplify the opener? What did you do? I like Roosh's opener, the "let me guess you are from (make up a country). But i go in the bar and I just can't pull the fucking trigger.

I'm getting frustrated. Can anyone related to the fear and pressure. No clue why it's got me by the balls.

[kerouac]

One of the best ways to get over approach anxiety is to start talking to strangers in everyday situations, and make it a habit of talking to different people. Before you know it your approach anxiety will be gone.

Also, 3 Second Rule.

[Thug Muffin]

If your out with a buddy make it into a game. What I used to do with my friends is that I would come up with something outrageously stupid for my friend to say and then pick the girl he would say it to. The more retarded it was the more fun I had approaching and the easier it opened.

I remember going in and saying, " I've got a purple dog who only likes to eat twinkies and wear purple shoes." I would say stupid crap like that and then slowly I realized that opening isn't as hard as I made it. What matters is transitioning off that opener into normal conversation or your routine stack.

Lately I just been going up and saying "your cute but are you friendly?".

(01-17-2010 03:29 PM)yoyo Wrote:  

Just trying to figure out how you guys did it? Did you simplify the opener? What did you do? I like Roosh's opener, the "let me guess you are from (make up a country). But i go in the bar and I just can't pull the fucking trigger.

I'm getting frustrated. Can anyone related to the fear and pressure. No clue why it's got me by the balls.

[Lumiere]

inner game problem

try approaching with the aim of getting blown out

learn not to care

p.s. approaching is not 'pulling the trigger' its picking up the gun

[thegmanifesto]

yoyo,

From reading your post, and the subliminals embedded in it, you are taking this way to serious, creating a high pressure environment, and psyching yourself out.

You need to make it fun, and less serious.

Try this:

Go and talk to girls WITHOUT trying to swoop them. Just be friendly and non-swoop mode. Non-sexual. (side note: this is often a great way to approach for anyone, it is under the radar, and you can escalate when you have sure footing).

Hell, I think I am going to try this some more.

This way you will get confidence. Seriously, try one step at a time.

The basics never change, and the basics are what got us here today.

Another side note:

It is always interesting reading these kinds of posts, and can show how difficult it is to do what we do day in and night out.

[BostonBMW]

I understand your dilemma but you have to step up. Visualize whats the worst that could happen? They could laugh at you? So what? You don't those types of girls anyways. Or they can say "I have a bf" to which you can respond "thats great, but that has nothing to do with me" and walk away if you choose.

Compare that to the regret of letting the opportunity to talk to beautiful girls slip you by. I think that regret is worse.

Finally, if all else fails then have a drink or two extra for the liquid courage. I know everyone, including Roosh recommend against it. However I am proposing buzz instead all out wasted. Remember if you're slurring the words, don't approach (unless she equally wasted haha)

I try the visual openers like "let me guess you brought that necklace from ______ (Trendy Shopping district), I see a lot of girls wearing it these days"

[thegmanifesto]

"Finally, if all else fails then have a drink or two extra for the liquid courage. I know everyone, including Roosh recommend against it."

Hell, I recommend staying buzzed 24/7.

[yoyo]

Thanks for the advice. I guess eventually just have to man up. It's just odd. It seems so simple yet so hard. I'll get cracking at it this week.

[thegmanifesto]

yoyo,

That's the spirit.

Keep us updated. We all love a success story.

[Riker]

You can give your bud 100 bucks and have him give you 10 bucks back everytime you open a girl. That worked for me a few times. If it doesn't work add zeros till it does.

[Pepini]

Practice w/ uglier chicks, they will give you a boast of confidence to hit the hotter ones.
If you´r with a wingmen divide who does the openers in a group of chicks you/him, you/him. The first one to open as the harder task, but then it gets easier till it´s like drinking a glass of water.
Don´t think too much on the opener, just do a compliment. I think some girls are more nervous than man during the aproach so a compliment normally helps.

[Giovonny]

I learned this by accident but something that helped me was DOING THINGS THAT WERE MUCH SCARIER THEN APPROACHING GIRLS. I went skydiving and nearly shit my pants, when i got back on the ground i couldn't wait to approach girls..i had just experienced a great deal of fear and i was laughing it off...approaching girls didn't seem that scary anymore. Other things that helped were boxing in the Golden Gloves, talking to my mom about why she left my dad, bungee jumping, etc. The bottom line is the more you face your fears...the less fear you will have stored in your body/mind...when you eliminate all that fear you can then start to live the life you want...

[thegmanifesto]

Giovonny,

Excellent point.

Dangerous activities really do help. Boxing for me too. I also remember when I would surf a lot and days with huge waves where I would almost drown. Those nights I didn't have a fear in the world.

One of my good friends along time ago would go bungee jumping before a huge night.

And it doesn't have to be just dangerous things. Take yourself out of your comfort zone.

Do things like give back to the people: http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2009/12/wha...idays.html

Or walk a old lady across the street.

Make a big sack of money.

Hand out $5 bills to little kids in your hood. http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2010/01/how...-year.html

Buy somebody's groceries that is less fortunate (I have never done this one, but I plan on it soon.)

I try to write about these kinds of things a lot. And I think this is what separates what I write VS those pick up artist blogs.

Swooping girls is not all just "Game Technique". Its about making yourself a better, stronger person.

Act like The G. Pretty soon you will be The G.

Manifesto Destiny.

[Kona]

(01-18-2010 02:35 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Dangerous activities really do help.

That's a very, very good point.

Once you learn to master several other activities that require you to ignore fear and just do them, 23 year old girls with pretty fingernails are nothing.

You'll have no fear of rejection at all if earlier in the day you ran down a 330lb Kajiki.

When I was younger (and a little stupider) I maybe used to rob pimps in Waikiki. The last time I was down there, I saw one of the old pimps who's name is Dial because as his neck tattoo says he's "so so clean." I was solo and he had a few dudes with him. I just locked eyes until he walked the other way. I went to a bar and got a few phone numbers, before hooking up with a regular a few hours later. No problem. The girls were secondary.

I can't imagine this video is real, but if it is, I bet this guy has some serious game:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUQ0crI5byA (don't try that)

Aloha!

[BostonBMW]

(01-18-2010 02:03 PM)Pepini Wrote:  

Practice w/ uglier chicks, they will give you a boast of confidence to hit the hotter ones.
If you´r with a wingmen divide who does the openers in a group of chicks you/him, you/him. The first one to open as the harder task, but then it gets easier till it´s like drinking a glass of water.
Don´t think too much on the opener, just do a compliment. I think some girls are more nervous than man during the aproach so a compliment normally helps.

Bro, I respect you on the advice, but I disagree somewhat on the "practice on uglier chicks part." I think you should approach girls that you find attractive instead of practicing on girls that are not as attractive to you. While I realize that yoyo might be nervous and this might be confidence booster:

- I think it wastes time. I mean you get her digits and not call her? Or worse, ending up at a different venue/her spot making out/doing her? You could be efficiently using that time to meet bangable girls.

- I think most guys have an easier time talking to strangers if they are not bangable. Even in my "pre approach" days I felt comfortable walking in a bar and asking a guy what game is on? who is winning? Similarly chatting up grandmas while at the checkout counter was no biggie. Maybe I'm wrong but I do see this as much easier.

Again, my approach is different, so feel free to disagree. I like your recommendation about the compliment, its a solid opener when done right. I say compliment style or accessories that you genuinely like rather than making something up. This ties back to the earlier point, I mean if you're eying that cutie across the bar, I would hope that you like something about her style, bangles whatever..

Approaching is no joke. I'd be lying if I say that my deodorant doesn't kick in when approaching.

[Pepini]

(01-18-2010 10:45 PM)BostonBMW Wrote:  

(01-18-2010 02:03 PM)Pepini Wrote:  

Practice w/ uglier chicks, they will give you a boast of confidence to hit the hotter ones.
If you´r with a wingmen divide who does the openers in a group of chicks you/him, you/him. The first one to open as the harder task, but then it gets easier till it´s like drinking a glass of water.
Don´t think too much on the opener, just do a compliment. I think some girls are more nervous than man during the aproach so a compliment normally helps.

Bro, I respect you on the advice, but I disagree somewhat on the "practice on uglier chicks part." I think you should approach girls that you find attractive instead of practicing on girls that are not as attractive to you. While I realize that yoyo might be nervous and this might be confidence booster:

- I think it wastes time. I mean you get her digits and not call her? Or worse, ending up at a different venue/her spot making out/doing her? You could be efficiently using that time to meet bangable girls.

- I think most guys have an easier time talking to strangers if they are not bangable. Even in my "pre approach" days I felt comfortable walking in a bar and asking a guy what game is on? who is winning? Similarly chatting up grandmas while at the checkout counter was no biggie. Maybe I'm wrong but I do see this as much easier.

Again, my approach is different, so feel free to disagree. I like your recommendation about the compliment, its a solid opener when done right. I say compliment style or accessories that you genuinely like rather than making something up. This ties back to the earlier point, I mean if you're eying that cutie across the bar, I would hope that you like something about her style, bangles whatever..

Approaching is no joke. I'd be lying if I say that my deodorant doesn't kick in when approaching.

Boston, there´s always two roads:
- One says you should do the hardest, because then it will be easier to do the simpler (I guess this is the one you prefer).
- The other says first you have to learn how to walk, then run.

Shit this is getting philosofical

I go for the second on this one.
I´m not saying go to the ugliest in the room, you need to have some interest. The thing is not to focus on the most beautiful girl and wait, wait, till you get the courage. Just naturally talk to any girl, don´t fix a target and waste all your time with her, aproach for practice on less atractive girls and in process bang some. One thing you know it, you will get more and more confidence w/ cold approaches, and your mind will be set on automatic pilot, and be approaching a 8 or a 9 without the same level of pressure.

The worst females in a group normally are the hotter and the uglier, the hotter because she knows she´s hot and the ugglier because she knows she won´t get any and wants to ruin it for all.

If I see a 10 and a 8, I will normally hit the 8. Why? They are normally more easy to approache, down to earth and don´t have the I´m a princess syndrom. Sometimes it worked the other way around.

I´m not saying this will definitely work for you or it´s the right method. There´s more than one way to skin a cat.

[InternationPlayboy]

(01-18-2010 02:03 PM)Pepini Wrote:  

Practice w/ uglier chicks, they will give you a boast of confidence to hit the hotter ones.
If you´r with a wingmen divide who does the openers in a group of chicks you/him, you/him. The first one to open as the harder task, but then it gets easier till it´s like drinking a glass of water.
Don´t think too much on the opener, just do a compliment. I think some girls are more nervous than man during the aproach so a compliment normally helps.

I could see this technique being dangerous, because what if you are approaching ugly girls and they are not being receptive to you, then you are going to think there is no way you can get a hot girl, when really the ugly girl might just be a kunt and not be receptive to many guys, even if you have tight game. Think about how many ugs you´ve encountered that were total kunts. And hitting on an ug and hitting on a hottie are almost two different games. For example, with hotties, they usually know they are hot so you can tease them a little and make them qualify themselves because most guys dont do this. This is okay because these girls are much more confident than ugs. For the ugs, you have to be a little nicer, because she probably isn´t that confident, and knows she is an ug. If you are a dick (Not DICK, but you understand what I mean) to her, like you can be to a certain extent to the hotties, she might just think you are an asshole.

[kingkong]

I box, motorcycle, and dirt bike. It never did anything to socially "embolden" me.

[BostonBMW]

Pepini: I got you. I think by saying uglier you meant relatively average. That makes sense.

Up until my Colombian model (definite 9) I had stuck to average girls. I'm still working on inner game, have other things going on, before I jump into the upper echelons of ladies. Its less about approach anxiety but more about the fact that I have more work at the office, planning on a relocation. Don't get me wrong I'll still hit a bangin Brazilian or Colombiana any day.