[freshcream]

When you study to be a teacher they don't talk much about the gender differences. I, as a budding teacher, would like to hear your insights on the matter. I want to influence the boys to be tougher, and to act like men.
I've always wanted boys to be boys. It annoys me when little boys cry like girls.

The other day I was playing som ball with a friend down at the local court. After a while some kids came by and wanted to play with us. We had some fun, but I realised that it really annoys me when the boys act like little girls. Two of the boys we're always teasing each other. So I told them to man up, and stop kidding around. One of the kids tells me, «He's always pushing me!». I told him to just push back. I aint having none of that asking gently if he can stop. Out on the field you play like a man.

Anyone got any tips for how I can approach this? I'm really thinking hard about how to shape the young ones ^^
I know I can't talk about this with my colleagues, it wouldn't be PC.

[hoops330]

Become a teacher that the kids respect and then tell them about your experiences and stories of manhood. Don't preach. Be subtle.

[SnakeEyes]

My initial response to any crying from my daughter is, "are you going to die?". Then I tell her, "what are you going to do about it?"

I say these things to challenge her. You need to challenge the boy. When you see he has taken up the challenge, then you can influence him. Telling him what to do when he feels powerless will do nothing. He has to believe he can achieve.


edit: If my girl is actually hurt I of course take care of her. Crying because she doesn't like a turn of events is unacceptable though.

[Giovonny]

They will learn by watching you. You will serve as the example. You will set the standard. If your classroom culture rewards toughness and punishes "softness" then thats the culture the kids will follow. If you act soft and inconsistent then the kids will be soft and inconsistent. You control the vibe in your classroom. They kids will follow that vibe. You don't have to talk about too much. More important to display it in your behavior. Reward the behavior you want. Discourage the behavior you don't want.

The problem is that all the other teachers will be pussies but at least the kids will get one hour a day of masculine training in your room.

They will follow your example. Carry yourself like a strong man and the boys will emulate that. They are sponges and they notice almost every little thing their teacher does.

[Enfant_Terrible]

OP, I assume you're learning to be a teacher in a university setting and on the field (inside an elementary school). If in the university setting, feel free to bring up these gender issues you have in the classroom. Don't be afraid of dissenting opinion, you're in a university--let the PC feminists and manginas hear other opinions. Read up more on the subject.

In the classroom setting behind closed doors with no administrator looking, it's between you and the kids and it's up to you how you run your classroom.

The thing is with your dilemma, telling the boys to "man up" and "push back" might not be appropriate when you're also teaching girls. I think that's also asking for trouble, boys who get into a fight might point the finger at you for telling them to push back and students might think you're treating them unfairly which is not good for classroom harmony.

I think you need a system where you reach all kids, not just boys, to be excellent and tough. By tough, I mean learning how to control feelings when faced with adversity in and out of the classroom. Frame your system to teach "resiliency" instead of "manliness," this will get you in the mindset to reach all students of all genders.

Kids need a guide. They need consistency with actions and few simple to follow rules prominently displayed that you can easily point to. Don't play favorites or pick sides. Praise effort and punish unacceptable behavior. Say what you mean and back up your words. Don't be afraid of the kid tantruming on you and threats to tell their parents or principal. You are setting these up as training wheels till they can find their own way in this world.

There are some people opposed to classroom management based on behaviorism, but I think it can be effective when executed properly: Book 1 / book 2

Last thing: Stand up straight. Check your posture. Kids respect dominant postures.

[freshcream]

wow, thanks for some excellent tips and pointers. Will check out those books =)

[TheBulldozer]

OP, send me a PM if you'd like some advice about your career choice.

I'd prefer not to mix business with pleasure publicly.