[pitt]

I have noticed that the majority of people hate people who feel too good in their own skin as if people shouldn't feel too confident with themselves.

For example, i have met this dude in DR who was full of himself. He used to tell me how good he was with all subjects in life (from medicine to politics), how he used to dress nice from monday to sunday (i truly dont think i have ever met anybody who dressed nicer than he did) and how awesome he was as a person. I USED TO LOVE his self confidence. I remember one day i had asked him if he thought he was perfect (i pretended to be a bit angry when i asked him this question) and he straight told me, ''yes, I am perfect'', i started laughing hard and clapping my hands at the same time, i had to congratulate the dude, his self confidence was on point. He then told me ''you are a really nice guy'', i think he said that because he knows that if it was another person, they would try to point out one of his flaws and try to bring down his confidence but because im not a hater, i showed him that i was happy that he thought so great about himself. Deep inside i dont think he really thinks he is perfect, i think he just told me that because he thought i was going to hate on him but i didnt.

Another example could be Gmanifesto. I think one of the reasons why i love his blog is because he is a super confident cat.

I just read this line on his blog and i was cracking up:

''A while back, I wrote one of the most innovative pieces of all time on fitness called Entering The Dragon.
I am mildly surprised that it didn’t revolutionize the entire fitness industry. But that is neither here nor there''.

Not too long ago, on gmanifesto swoop recipe, he said something like if you cook this meal and you don't get to fuck this girl, GIVE UP, you will never fuck her (hahahaha).

Another example could be the portuguese football coach Jose Mourinho (i think some of you know him). I remember on one of his interviews, a female journalist asked him what he thought were his flaws as a coach, he straight told her ''i dont have any flaws, i am perfect''. When i share this interview with other people, i notice that people hate how confident he is with himself but i have interpreted that interview in a different way. I truly don't think he thinks he is perfect, its just an strategy to piss off football fans, competition and the journalist (note: but i believe jose mourinho thinks he is an awesome person, but i dont think he thinks he is perfect).

So what i am saying here is that i literally love people who are really confident with themselves (maybe because im confident with myself too?) but i notice that the majority of people hate on these people. Is there a reason behind this? How can the confidence of one person bother another person?

I may be missing something here, i know we have super intelligent cats on here, i would appreciate if yall could share some thoughts.

[Menace]

In real life, I am cool with over confident people and assholes, if they have the goods to back it up (i.e. they really are good and I have seen their relevant work). Obviously, you cannot judge this on the internet in the same way, but people who have consistently delivered value and great insights and are super confident would be comparable to my real life example.

It's really easy to hate, especially when someone has/does what you want. I think the hating is a (reverse?) projection of your own insecurities and unfulfilled goals and dreams. I sometimes catch myself doing that in real life, but then I think: what can I learn from this dude? What is he doing that I can/should also be doing?

[WestCoast]

Pitt.

Confidence breeds confidence.

Confidence is competence.

This is why as you get better, myself included there is actualy less room for error. People will do anything and everything to try to bring you down. Let them challenge you.

I have lost more friends with success than I have gained with failure. Meaning. The friends I keep when I succeed are my real friends, they are happy for you. The ones who secretly hated my success have left.

I have no problems saying I have very few male friends, most of them aren't worth my time. If they aren't dragging you up, they are dragging you down. Create momentum with good people, only clowns get angry, again it is equivalent to crying.

[thegmanifesto]

All my good friends are ridiculously confident.

I fall somewhere in the middle.

It is hilarious when we are together. The amount of ego in the room is beyond belief. And the dissing is downright brutal. Enough to make other top crews cry.

Hell, even my rivals are the same way.

It is hard for me to relate to people that aren't confident.

To me, it is hilarious, entertaining, and magnetic.

Seems to work pretty good with girls too.

[Timoteo]

I don't think people mind confidence so much as they dislike constant bragging. It's one thing to convey confidence in how you carry yourself and interact with others, but if a person is constantly TELLING you how great they are, it comes across as a sales pitch, or that they're trying to convince THEMSELVES that they are truly great.

[XXL]

(07-12-2012 03:56 PM)pitt Wrote:  

So what i am saying here is that i literally love people who are really confident with themselves (maybe because im confident with myself too?) but i notice that the majority of people hate on these people.

i like confident and i click with them too but the problem is that confidence or coolness is kind of tricky. rich person doesn't have to say he's rich. it's subtle. it's a quality that other people project on you and use to describe you, not something that you proactively show/convey/say. when he does, he looks lame and people hate him. that's what's going on.

(07-12-2012 03:56 PM)pitt Wrote:  

Is there a reason behind this? How can the confidence of one person bother another person?

because it's not confidence in the first place. it's pure ego. i'm familiar with mourinho. he's classic example of big ego dude. he likes attention and being the star, hence his stupid statements. so mourinho saying that he's "the special one" is a tool and the second he fails at something he's ridiculed.

it's the difference between eminem and kanye west. em by the fact that he's normal dude, doesn't flash his money and status, admits he's overwhelmed by all this and often downlplays himself, he's seen as super cool confident artist. people are like "wooooooow he's so down to earth, just like me". kanye on the other hand just over do it and spit complete bullshit just like any spolied brat. in game terms he's the guy who's sure of his skills and show them without adding some stupid try-hard shit over it to show how cool he is. so by NOT DOING it he comes across as cool.

as for me i like both, k. west too cause i can't be bothered by it, his stunts are funny, but in the end he's too obsessed with trying to be awesome therefore he gives off this try-hard vibe. he would be coolest cat ever easily but he chose to show off it and overdo it just like aspiring puas when they try to convey value all the time to show off and then they cross the line which proves they fake it.

[Stitch]

(07-12-2012 04:33 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

I don't think people mind confidence so much as they dislike constant bragging. It's one thing to convey confidence in how you carry yourself and interact with others, but if a person is constantly TELLING you how great they are, it comes across as a sales pitch, or that they're trying to convince THEMSELVES that they are truly great.

Right. OP said this as much in his original post: "Deep inside i dont think he really thinks he is perfect"...

There's bragging, which is talking smack about how great you are without being able to back it up. This works for a pretty long way, but eventually it'll come due.

There's quiet competence where you never say anything, you just kick ass. The only problem with this is that no one realizes you kick ass, and in the short term--which may be all that matters--the braggart will win, because he's the one everyone's heard of. This is where I live: very bad at self-promotion. It's a serious weakness.

The catch is to hit the middle and hustle yourself--be good, and don't be shy about it. When you've got the goods, can let everyone know without being an ass, and completely back it up when challenged--that's the win, there.

[thegmanifesto]

"As long as I can remember I feel I have had this great creative and spiritual force within me that is greater than faith, greater than ambition, greater than confidence, greater than determination, greater than vision. It is all these combined. My brain becomes magnetized with this dominating force which I hold in my hand." - Bruce Lee

[MikeCF]

You gotta have Supreme Confidence:

[j r]

For me it depends what you're arrogant about. I've got mad respect for people who have busted their ass to get to a position of competence. On the other hand, people who are arrogant about things that they were just born with or were handed in life just really fucking annoy me.

[Timoteo]

(07-12-2012 06:31 PM)Stitch Wrote:  

(07-12-2012 04:33 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

I don't think people mind confidence so much as they dislike constant bragging. It's one thing to convey confidence in how you carry yourself and interact with others, but if a person is constantly TELLING you how great they are, it comes across as a sales pitch, or that they're trying to convince THEMSELVES that they are truly great.

Right. OP said this as much in his original post: "Deep inside i dont think he really thinks he is perfect"...

There's bragging, which is talking smack about how great you are without being able to back it up. This works for a pretty long way, but eventually it'll come due.

There's quiet competence where you never say anything, you just kick ass. The only problem with this is that no one realizes you kick ass, and in the short term--which may be all that matters--the braggart will win, because he's the one everyone's heard of. This is where I live: very bad at self-promotion. It's a serious weakness.

The catch is to hit the middle and hustle yourself--be good, and don't be shy about it. When you've got the goods, can let everyone know without being an ass, and completely back it up when challenged--that's the win, there.

There's a saying - "A closed mouth don't get fed." It's usually used in the context of not being afraid or too shy to ask for what you want or need. It can apply in this context also - to let people know who you are and what you can do. It's like a cover letter to your resume - you're telling someone why you're the man for the job. You express confidence without being too brash.

[Vicious]

The one issue with this kind of individual, be it yourself or someone you know, is that this person can be kind of awkward to have in a group. It can mess with group dynamics. Which is why you usually see these persons rolling solo most of the time.

[Jevioso]

There's a reason why women flock to the super confident and arrogant men. Women enjoy bringing a man down i.e. seeing a tough guy cry or him just being soft, women always feel power in their ability to make men weak. It's a lot more satisfying to weaken a super dude, than it is to bring down a humble man.

[Architekt]

People that are genuinely confident, with the lifestyle to back it up, I have massive respect for. If it's unfounded confidence, then I don't particularly like it - it sucks when you find that someone you thought was a pretty cool person is actually a faking loser. I can usually tell by the body language whether someone is bullshitting, so it doesn't really happen often, but some people are damn good actors. Arrogance I'm a little bit torn on. I don't mind self confidence, but talking down to people bothers me. Seems to be a trend that, when the drink starts flowing, a lot of people start acting like they're king of the world, and everyone should bow down to them. I met a dude last week (it was my friends boyfriend) that seemed pretty cool, and is going to the same uni as me. He told me he worked as a karate instructor, which I thought was pretty cool. But midway through the night he was outright telling me about how easily he could hurt/kill/whatever me, and acting like it gave him supreme control over me and everyone around. My response was something like "man, I really don't give a shit what you can do to me. But if you keep it up, I guess I'll get a first hand look at it." This sort of arrogance bugs me a bit. It's all well and good to be comfortable with the fact that you could handle a fight with anyone in the room, but you don't need to tell people about it without reason - that fact will project itself to anyone who cares enough to notice it.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I like high confidence, but I despise arrogance. Those are two very different attributes. I don't like aggression and aggressive people, which I characterize as "those people with very low empathy, with whom there just has to be a winner and a loser in every sentence".

Unfortunately, since those qualities are mildly correlated with confidence and extremely strongly correlated with being attractive to women, I am divided on this issue. I have adopted them for use when needed, but I don't think I will ever enjoy them.

[velkrum]

pitt Wrote:

I have noticed that the majority of people hate people who feel too good in their own skin as if people shouldn't feel too confident with themselves.

People tend to fall in 2 categories:

1. Arrogant (Faulty Idiots)
2. Confident (Respectful Inspirations)

Arrogant People (Majority):

• Use confidence for image and show.
• Are not accountable for their mistakes
• Have fragile ego's (when their faults are brought to the surface)
• Care more about being loved rather than valuable (Prideful).

Confident People (Minority):

• Are innovative
• Often receive harsh criticism for their innovative thinking but respectfully stand their ground.
• Are usually right for the most part but will easily admit to their mistakes and correct them.
• Readily credits others (deserving of praise)
• Has a "live and let live," personality
  

1. For most, confidence is usually a smoke screen to mask insecurity/shortcomings.
2. Truly confident people are a rare breed.
   Their confidence is subtle and overlooked due to a humble nature and ability to inspire.

*...and of course, there will always be exceptions to the rules and people who fit neither category

[Screwston]

(07-12-2012 04:33 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

I don't think people mind confidence so much as they dislike constant bragging. It's one thing to convey confidence in how you carry yourself and interact with others, but if a person is constantly TELLING you how great they are, it comes across as a sales pitch, or that they're trying to convince THEMSELVES that they are truly great.

This is how I feel. I think this forum is full of confident guys because you have to be if you want to fuck lots of girls. There's no way around that. I'm very confident and people have said I'm cocky and shit like that. Maybe, but I'm not walking around with my head up my ass and trying to convince the world that I'm such a great person. I just hold my head up high.

Arrogance is unnecessary and reminds me of celebrities who think they're God's gift to normal people, people born into lots of money, the popular asshole kids in school, etc. I associate it with thinking you're better than other people for whatever reason which isn't me and wouldn't be even if I invented a time machine and was living like Scroodge Mcduck. I ain't like that and won't ever be. These people are usually very fragile on the inside and can't take any sort of criticism.

I think good examples of confident people are ones who started from the bottom and made something for themselves. They're usually down to earth and easy to get along with because they can see both sides of the fence.

[Architekt]

Seems like there's a common love for confidence and hatred for arrogance haha

[storm]

It is very annoying when someone's confidence is incongruent with reality.

It makes him seem deluded or idiotic.

[RichieP]

I think there's healthy self belief and there's unhealthy narcissm.

If you feel secure in yourself, you can usually tell the difference. If you're feeling insecure, someones healthy self belief can upset you (and chronically upsets some people whenever they encounter it)

One of my friends pointed out the fact that Im always impressed/inspired when I see a guy absolutely smashing it with a hot girl - like a cool guy with his shit together, doing well and handling a hottie properly - he says him and alot of of other people just get really jealous or bitter, even if the guy is obviously cool. I think it's cool to recognise and appreciate confidence... for me personally I find it often jolts me into stepping up and reconnects me to my OWN successful qualities ... "game recognises game".

[Kitsune]

I don't really care. I think it is more an issue of being in context when having a conversation.

I don't care if people are over-the-top confident as long as they observe the rules of social decorum. Bragging about something you've done is ok, but cutting in when somebody else is talking isn't. Putting your confidence within the subject of conversation is good, randomly changing the topic to show off is lame. That could be with over-confidence or under-confidence.

[pitt]

(07-12-2012 04:04 PM)Menace Wrote:  

It's really easy to hate, especially when someone has/does what you want. I think the hating is a (reverse?) projection of your own insecurities and unfulfilled goals and dreams.

Yeah thats it. I also think the people that are usually hating dont have much going on or feel inferior than you in some way.

(07-12-2012 04:27 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  

Pitt.

Confidence breeds confidence.

Confidence is competence.

This is why as you get better, myself included there is actualy less room for error. People will do anything and everything to try to bring you down. Let them challenge you.

I have lost more friends with success than I have gained with failure. Meaning. The friends I keep when I succeed are my real friends, they are happy for you. The ones who secretly hated my success have left.

I have no problems saying I have very few male friends, most of them aren't worth my time. If they aren't dragging you up, they are dragging you down. Create momentum with good people, only clowns get angry, again it is equivalent to crying.

You go hard man, great post, i completely agree with you.

(07-12-2012 04:31 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

All my good friends are ridiculously confident.

I fall somewhere in the middle.

It is hilarious when we are together. The amount of ego in the room is beyond belief. And the dissing is downright brutal. Enough to make other top crews cry.

Hell, even my rivals are the same way.

It is hard for me to relate to people that aren't confident.

haha you are somewhere in the middle in your group of friends when comes to ego tripping?haha.

One of my best friends that passed away 3 years ago could boast like nobody else. Dude never had shit but if you met him you would think he had 10 million pounds. To me he was straight an entertainer, he is one of the funniest dudes i have ever met. I usually find ego tripping/boasting entertaining.

(07-13-2012 12:52 AM)Vicious Wrote:  

The one issue with this kind of individual, be it yourself or someone you know, is that this person can be kind of awkward to have in a group. It can mess with group dynamics. Which is why you usually see these persons rolling solo most of the time.

Yeah interesting post.

(07-13-2012 06:31 AM)Architekt Wrote:  

I met a dude last week (it was my friends boyfriend) that seemed pretty cool, and is going to the same uni as me. He told me he worked as a karate instructor, which I thought was pretty cool. But midway through the night he was outright telling me about how easily he could hurt/kill/whatever me, and acting like it gave him supreme control over me and everyone around. My response was something like "man, I really don't give a shit what you can do to me. But if you keep it up, I guess I'll get a first hand look at it." This sort of arrogance bugs me a bit. It's all well and good to be comfortable with the fact that you could handle a fight with anyone in the room, but you don't need to tell people about it without reason - that fact will project itself to anyone who cares enough to notice it.

Yeah i don't think anybody likes that sort of arrogance.

[Giovonny]

It doesn't really bother me as long as it is authentic. If the guy is faking it and trying to hard it might get annoying.

What bothers me more is guys who lack confidence. I literally want to kill them, it drives me crazy. A man acting like a mouse!!!

[Architekt]

(07-13-2012 07:33 AM)storm Wrote:  

It is very annoying when someone's confidence is incongruent with reality.

It makes him seem deluded or idiotic.

I have a friend like this. It's incredible watching him at work. Definitely the potential to be a really cool dude, but everyone who meets him can only handle the guy in really small doses - it just gets too much.

[zanetti]

someone truly confident doesn't tell other people how confident he is

a girl who's a 10 in looks doesn't go around telling people how attractive she is. only 6es do that