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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-12-2012, 03:56 PM
I have noticed that the majority of people hate people who feel too good in their own skin as if people shouldn't feel too confident with themselves.
For example, i have met this dude in DR who was full of himself. He used to tell me how good he was with all subjects in life (from medicine to politics), how he used to dress nice from monday to sunday (i truly dont think i have ever met anybody who dressed nicer than he did) and how awesome he was as a person. I USED TO LOVE his self confidence. I remember one day i had asked him if he thought he was perfect (i pretended to be a bit angry when i asked him this question) and he straight told me, ''yes, I am perfect'', i started laughing hard and clapping my hands at the same time, i had to congratulate the dude, his self confidence was on point. He then told me ''you are a really nice guy'', i think he said that because he knows that if it was another person, they would try to point out one of his flaws and try to bring down his confidence but because im not a hater, i showed him that i was happy that he thought so great about himself. Deep inside i dont think he really thinks he is perfect, i think he just told me that because he thought i was going to hate on him but i didnt.
Another example could be Gmanifesto. I think one of the reasons why i love his blog is because he is a super confident cat.
I just read this line on his blog and i was cracking up:
''A while back, I wrote one of the most innovative pieces of all time on fitness called Entering The Dragon.
I am mildly surprised that it didn’t revolutionize the entire fitness industry. But that is neither here nor there''.
Not too long ago, on gmanifesto swoop recipe, he said something like if you cook this meal and you don't get to fuck this girl, GIVE UP, you will never fuck her (hahahaha).
Another example could be the portuguese football coach Jose Mourinho (i think some of you know him). I remember on one of his interviews, a female journalist asked him what he thought were his flaws as a coach, he straight told her ''i dont have any flaws, i am perfect''. When i share this interview with other people, i notice that people hate how confident he is with himself but i have interpreted that interview in a different way. I truly don't think he thinks he is perfect, its just an strategy to piss off football fans, competition and the journalist (note: but i believe jose mourinho thinks he is an awesome person, but i dont think he thinks he is perfect).
So what i am saying here is that i literally love people who are really confident with themselves (maybe because im confident with myself too?) but i notice that the majority of people hate on these people. Is there a reason behind this? How can the confidence of one person bother another person?
I may be missing something here, i know we have super intelligent cats on here, i would appreciate if yall could share some thoughts.
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-12-2012, 04:04 PM
In real life, I am cool with over confident people and assholes, if they have the goods to back it up (i.e. they really are good and I have seen their relevant work). Obviously, you cannot judge this on the internet in the same way, but people who have consistently delivered value and great insights and are super confident would be comparable to my real life example.
It's really easy to hate, especially when someone has/does what you want. I think the hating is a (reverse?) projection of your own insecurities and unfulfilled goals and dreams. I sometimes catch myself doing that in real life, but then I think: what can I learn from this dude? What is he doing that I can/should also be doing?
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-12-2012, 04:27 PM
Pitt.
Confidence breeds confidence.
Confidence is competence.
This is why as you get better, myself included there is actualy less room for error. People will do anything and everything to try to bring you down. Let them challenge you.
I have lost more friends with success than I have gained with failure. Meaning. The friends I keep when I succeed are my real friends, they are happy for you. The ones who secretly hated my success have left.
I have no problems saying I have very few male friends, most of them aren't worth my time. If they aren't dragging you up, they are dragging you down. Create momentum with good people, only clowns get angry, again it is equivalent to crying.
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-12-2012, 04:33 PM
I don't think people mind confidence so much as they dislike constant bragging. It's one thing to convey confidence in how you carry yourself and interact with others, but if a person is constantly TELLING you how great they are, it comes across as a sales pitch, or that they're trying to convince THEMSELVES that they are truly great.
"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-12-2012, 08:03 PM
For me it depends what you're arrogant about. I've got mad respect for people who have busted their ass to get to a position of competence. On the other hand, people who are arrogant about things that they were just born with or were handed in life just really fucking annoy me.
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-12-2012, 08:32 PM
Quote: (07-12-2012 06:31 PM)Stitch Wrote:
Quote: (07-12-2012 04:33 PM)Timoteo Wrote:
I don't think people mind confidence so much as they dislike constant bragging. It's one thing to convey confidence in how you carry yourself and interact with others, but if a person is constantly TELLING you how great they are, it comes across as a sales pitch, or that they're trying to convince THEMSELVES that they are truly great.
Right. OP said this as much in his original post: "Deep inside i dont think he really thinks he is perfect"...
There's bragging, which is talking smack about how great you are without being able to back it up. This works for a pretty long way, but eventually it'll come due.
There's quiet competence where you never say anything, you just kick ass. The only problem with this is that no one realizes you kick ass, and in the short term--which may be all that matters--the braggart will win, because he's the one everyone's heard of. This is where I live: very bad at self-promotion. It's a serious weakness.
The catch is to hit the middle and hustle yourself--be good, and don't be shy about it. When you've got the goods, can let everyone know without being an ass, and completely back it up when challenged--that's the win, there.
There's a saying - "A closed mouth don't get fed." It's usually used in the context of not being afraid or too shy to ask for what you want or need. It can apply in this context also - to let people know who you are and what you can do. It's like a cover letter to your resume - you're telling someone why you're the man for the job. You express confidence without being too brash.
"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
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07-13-2012, 12:52 AM
The one issue with this kind of individual, be it yourself or someone you know, is that this person can be kind of awkward to have in a group. It can mess with group dynamics. Which is why you usually see these persons rolling solo most of the time.
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-13-2012, 05:53 AM
There's a reason why women flock to the super confident and arrogant men. Women enjoy bringing a man down i.e. seeing a tough guy cry or him just being soft, women always feel power in their ability to make men weak. It's a lot more satisfying to weaken a super dude, than it is to bring down a humble man.
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07-13-2012, 06:31 AM
People that are genuinely confident, with the lifestyle to back it up, I have massive respect for. If it's unfounded confidence, then I don't particularly like it - it sucks when you find that someone you thought was a pretty cool person is actually a faking loser. I can usually tell by the body language whether someone is bullshitting, so it doesn't really happen often, but some people are damn good actors. Arrogance I'm a little bit torn on. I don't mind self confidence, but talking down to people bothers me. Seems to be a trend that, when the drink starts flowing, a lot of people start acting like they're king of the world, and everyone should bow down to them. I met a dude last week (it was my friends boyfriend) that seemed pretty cool, and is going to the same uni as me. He told me he worked as a karate instructor, which I thought was pretty cool. But midway through the night he was outright telling me about how easily he could hurt/kill/whatever me, and acting like it gave him supreme control over me and everyone around. My response was something like "man, I really don't give a shit what you can do to me. But if you keep it up, I guess I'll get a first hand look at it." This sort of arrogance bugs me a bit. It's all well and good to be comfortable with the fact that you could handle a fight with anyone in the room, but you don't need to tell people about it without reason - that fact will project itself to anyone who cares enough to notice it.
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-13-2012, 06:41 AM
I like high confidence, but I despise arrogance. Those are two very different attributes. I don't like aggression and aggressive people, which I characterize as "those people with very low empathy, with whom there just has to be a winner and a loser in every sentence".
Unfortunately, since those qualities are mildly correlated with confidence and extremely strongly correlated with being attractive to women, I am divided on this issue. I have adopted them for use when needed, but I don't think I will ever enjoy them.
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-13-2012, 07:24 AM
Quote: (07-12-2012 04:33 PM)Timoteo Wrote:
I don't think people mind confidence so much as they dislike constant bragging. It's one thing to convey confidence in how you carry yourself and interact with others, but if a person is constantly TELLING you how great they are, it comes across as a sales pitch, or that they're trying to convince THEMSELVES that they are truly great.
This is how I feel. I think this forum is full of confident guys because you have to be if you want to fuck lots of girls. There's no way around that. I'm very confident and people have said I'm cocky and shit like that. Maybe, but I'm not walking around with my head up my ass and trying to convince the world that I'm such a great person. I just hold my head up high.
Arrogance is unnecessary and reminds me of celebrities who think they're God's gift to normal people, people born into lots of money, the popular asshole kids in school, etc. I associate it with thinking you're better than other people for whatever reason which isn't me and wouldn't be even if I invented a time machine and was living like Scroodge Mcduck. I ain't like that and won't ever be. These people are usually very fragile on the inside and can't take any sort of criticism.
I think good examples of confident people are ones who started from the bottom and made something for themselves. They're usually down to earth and easy to get along with because they can see both sides of the fence.
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07-13-2012, 07:32 AM
Seems like there's a common love for confidence and hatred for arrogance haha
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07-13-2012, 07:33 AM
It is very annoying when someone's confidence is incongruent with reality.
It makes him seem deluded or idiotic.
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07-13-2012, 10:10 AM
I think there's healthy self belief and there's unhealthy narcissm.
If you feel secure in yourself, you can usually tell the difference. If you're feeling insecure, someones healthy self belief can upset you (and chronically upsets some people whenever they encounter it)
One of my friends pointed out the fact that Im always impressed/inspired when I see a guy absolutely smashing it with a hot girl - like a cool guy with his shit together, doing well and handling a hottie properly - he says him and alot of of other people just get really jealous or bitter, even if the guy is obviously cool. I think it's cool to recognise and appreciate confidence... for me personally I find it often jolts me into stepping up and reconnects me to my OWN successful qualities ... "game recognises game".
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Does super confidence/arrogance bothers you?
07-13-2012, 11:58 AM
I don't really care. I think it is more an issue of being in context when having a conversation.
I don't care if people are over-the-top confident as long as they observe the rules of social decorum. Bragging about something you've done is ok, but cutting in when somebody else is talking isn't. Putting your confidence within the subject of conversation is good, randomly changing the topic to show off is lame. That could be with over-confidence or under-confidence.
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07-17-2012, 04:17 PM
It doesn't really bother me as long as it is authentic. If the guy is faking it and trying to hard it might get annoying.
What bothers me more is guys who lack confidence. I literally want to kill them, it drives me crazy. A man acting like a mouse!!!
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07-18-2012, 06:08 AM
someone truly confident doesn't tell other people how confident he is
a girl who's a 10 in looks doesn't go around telling people how attractive she is. only 6es do that
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