[RichieP]

I dont know how it comes to this, but seemingly every girl I hang out with, eventually she starts banging on about some bullshit drama in her life that I just do not give a fuck about. I try and make it obvious that I'm not interested but inevitably they will repeatedly keep going back to the same issue. Problems with her family, her boss, her friends... fuck, I do not care. It's not the sort of vibe I want on a first date or morning after... why do they think it's acceptable? Maybe I just need to be ruthless and cut them off and change the subject.


I wonder why this is happening? Maybe:

-Something about the girls Im picking up
-Something in my vibe thats saying "yes, im here to listen to your problems"
or
-Most girls will do this, Im just not being assertive enough and making it clear that I do not want to hear about this shit


The number of fucking sob stories and whinging/moaning I've heard from girls about their lives on the first date, or morning after... its getting ridiculous. And I am in Thailand, yes, and that could be a factor, but it happens with western girls alot too.

How do you guys cut this BS off, or stop it from happening in the first place?

[Timoteo]

Deep down, most chicks are looking for a hero in one fashion or another. Women like to talk. Women like to talk about themselves. Women like to talk about other people's business. Women generally lack discretion. It doesn't have to be something in your vibe that triggers it. It could be attributed to her comfort level with you. I can't speak to it being a cultural thing among Thai women. All you can do is respond with, "Really? That's just AWFUL!" and try to redirect the conversation. Try not to be directly rude until AFTER the bang...HA HA!

[Veloce]

I have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of shit. IMO, there are two causes:

1) The vibe you put out. If you're cocky and funny, there's no reason for girls to be "serious" or think about whatever bullshit they're going through at that point in their life. Your interactions should be lighthearted, teasing, and fun, and everything that you do and say should support this. However, sometimes...

2) The girl is just a major fucking downer. I'm sure it would be possible to play the supportive beta and still get a bang out of this chick, but in my mind it's just not worth it, and I'd rather not get in the habit of playing the supportive role. I just feel it's bad mojo. I've never, EVER seen a smoking hot girl out at a bar or club with her face in her palm and super depressed about some shit that she needed consolation for.

If it was the morning after and she started up with some problematic bullshit, I'd say something like, "Hey, I bet you'd feel better if you made me some scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast."

[Tuthmosis]

(05-12-2012 12:45 AM)Timoteo Wrote:  

Deep down, most chicks are looking for a hero in one fashion or another. Women like to talk. Women like to talk about themselves. Women like to talk about other people's business.

^This and women like, and seek out, drama. That's what they enjoy seeing and talking about. It's why they're at the center of fights at bars and why they invented soap operas and pussy-ass vampire movies. Eavesdrop on girls talking between themselves sometime (between the ages of 14-35) and you'll quickly realize.

Also keep in mind that the average girl is not a compelling story-teller who will regale you with an amazing telling of her Amazonian travels, or how she played guitar with a homeless dude on the street to help him collect $50 to get a bus ticket. Instead, she's going to tell you how Amanda is a total bitch or how her life is a total wreck.

[Walnuts]

With my ex gf she would call me up and start telling me about all sorts of shit. At first I would listen but after a few weeks I stopped listening and just made noises when she paused like "uhuh". I swear to god she would go on for at least 10 minutes without a single input from me. Eventually I just started putting the phone on the table, going to do some shit like cook a meal and then come back and she would still be spewing bullshit. Unbelievable.

[NuMbEr7]

edit

[Walnuts]

(05-12-2012 02:50 PM)NuMbEr7 Wrote:  

Hahah fuck man Walnuts that make me crack up!

Anyway some chick tonight was going on and on how her old best friend was a bitch and blah blah

Lol yeah it's pretty ridiculous.

I think its a good indicator of interest though. I find that when a girl feels close to you, this sort of thing will happen. It's also a good indicator to get the fuck out of there because it usually means she's getting attached to you.

[Timoteo]

(05-12-2012 12:34 PM)Walnuts Wrote:  

With my ex gf she would call me up and start telling me about all sorts of shit. At first I would listen but after a few weeks I stopped listening and just made noises when she paused like "uhuh". I swear to god she would go on for at least 10 minutes without a single input from me. Eventually I just started putting the phone on the table, going to do some shit like cook a meal and then come back and she would still be spewing bullshit. Unbelievable.

I've done this also. I'd put the phone down, go take a shit, and come back without her even knowing I wasn't listening. And she was talking so loud that I didn't actually have to hold the phone to my ear. I put it down and could still hear her prattle on.

[Gmac]

Don't be her emotional tampon. Cut it loose.

[gringochileno]

You're probably putting out a nonthreatening vibe that makes girls think you'll listen to their bullshit. Turn the asshole game up a notch or two and see what happens.

[Deluge]

(05-11-2012 10:51 PM)RichieP Wrote:  

Maybe I just need to be ruthless and cut them off and change the subject.

This. Let them run their mouth off and once they finally stop for you to offer input, change the topic.

[RichieP]

nice, thanks guys.

Pdog: Yes thinking about it I have quite a resistance to doing that. It feels too "harsh" (my BS British "polite" people-pleasing conditioning, lol). But thinking about it not really even harsh its just leading the vibe somewhere better.

[Screwston]

I think it happens when you're to nice like gringo said. I'm not positive but I would bet my car that betas, white knights, most guys, etc listen to girls ramble on about this shit for hours and hours. I change the subject ASAP when a girl tries to do that with me.

[NuMbEr7]

edit

[bface]

Listen to Gmac, Pdog etc, they got it right.

I would be surprised if a girl would fuck her emotional tampon...

[silent_scope]

Listen to GMAC. Cut them off! DO IT NOW!

Tell her to find a girlfriend(s) to tell all that bullshit.

Find other chicks to bang. She might try to reconnect.

[TheBulldozer]

I find this acceptable behavior with less Westernized women. I'm dating a Turkish girl who tells me about her problems while we lay in bed in the morning, really could careless if I'm looking at her or still have my head buried in the pillow, and then proceeds to blow me before cooking me breakfast.

With some fake tanned American bimbo, I change the subject immediately.

[King Solomon]

you should listen to them because their problems are important.

LOL

[Parlay44]

Reply with "I would LOOOOOVE a blow job. Thanks for offering!!"

[Veloce]

(05-13-2012 08:31 PM)MaleDefined Wrote:  

I find this acceptable behavior with less Westernized women. I'm dating a Turkish girl who tells me about her problems while we lay in bed in the morning, really could careless if I'm looking at her or still have my head buried in the pillow, and then proceeds to blow me before cooking me breakfast.

With some fake tanned American bimbo, I change the subject immediately.

Good point. I've dated SE Asians that grew up without sidewalks or hot water in neighborhoods where kids would just get run over by trucks and shit. I always do a double take, like, "Hey, wait a minute, I'm actually kinda sorta halfway interested in what you're talking about...not used to this." With white girls, it's always about work, school, or their latest audition to get that lead on the new Geico commercial.

[Veloce]

(05-13-2012 08:31 PM)MaleDefined Wrote:  

I find this acceptable behavior with less Westernized women. I'm dating a Turkish girl who tells me about her problems while we lay in bed in the morning, really could careless if I'm looking at her or still have my head buried in the pillow, and then proceeds to blow me before cooking me breakfast.

With some fake tanned American bimbo, I change the subject immediately.

Good point. I've dated SE Asians that grew up without sidewalks or hot water in neighborhoods where kids would just get run over by trucks and shit. I always do a double take, like, "Hey, wait a minute, I'm actually kinda sorta halfway interested in what you're talking about...not used to this." With white girls, it's always about work, school, or their latest audition to get that lead on the new Geico commercial.

[pitt]

Interesting that i have a different perspective from everybody who replied on this thread.

MY experience has been that the more a girl tells me about her problems, the more is likely for me to be fucking her. Actually thats part of my game, im a good listener and girls usually talk more than i do because im a good listener. I wouldnt say girls talk to me a lot about their problems but when they do, im usually fucking them. Remember, there are not that many people willing to listen to other peopleºs problems and when you do, you are already making a difference and making her feel comfortable with you. Me personally, if she has a problem that she wants to discuss, im good about listening to her, actually i find easier to bang them once she is telling me about her problems. But you need to be able to move the conversation into other topics, make it sexual after a while, play the listener but she needs to know that you are fucking. Also girls that tell you about their problems are likely to be your fuckbuddies for a long period.

[Aureo]

(05-25-2012 03:56 AM)pitt Wrote:  

Interesting that i have a different perspective from everybody who replied on this thread.

MY experience has been that the more a girl tells me about her problems, the more is likely for me to be fucking her. Actually thats part of my game, im a good listener and girls usually talk more than i do because im a good listener. I wouldnt say girls talk to me a lot about their problems but when they do, im usually fucking them. Remember, there are not that many people willing to listen to other peopleºs problems and when you do, you are already making a difference and making her feel comfortable with you. Me personally, if she has a problem that she wants to discuss, im good about listening to her, actually i find easier to bang them once she is telling me about her problems. But you need to be able to move the conversation into other topics, make it sexual after a while, play the listener but she needs to know that you are fucking. Also girls that tell you about their problems are likely to be your fuckbuddies for a long period.

This dude's got it right, at least with girls who are not spoiled princesses, or Americanized.

Its an IOI, a strong one, and if you play you're cards right, you can steer the situation into a very sexual one, because she's already made vulnerable to you

[RichieP]

So I went on another date with a girl who spurred this discussion. She was complaining hard about her job, again. This time I noticed that I sort of give her "ins" in the convo where I will respond in a way that kind of says "its OK if you tell me more about this"

So I consciously fixed that. I was still responding while she was on her tirade but I was obviously not going to enter into it with her. Just like "right." "yeah." but with obvious not-interested tonality. Then as soon as she started to lull I really cut it off and changed topics positively, I think she got the message.

yeah its just being assertive really isnt it.

[T and A Man]

if they're hot, escalate.

"It sounds as if it's getting you somewhat stressed".

Kino

"let's go back to my place and spend some quality time together. You can tell me all about it, help clear your mind".