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Confidence is a fickle beast
#1

Confidence is a fickle beast

For the first time over a year, I'm single. I had been in a long-term relationship with a girl I loved (still do, actually) but a number of factors forced me to end things. We lived together in my apartment, and she moved out just recently. She understood why I had to end it, and she seems to want to reconcile and 'win me back'. She knows I'm not the marriage and kids type, but that doesn't stop her from trying. Lovely girl, but just not going in the same life direction as I. I'm glad to be single again, especially since I'll be seeing this girl frequently -anyway-.

Before we split, I was noticing a lot of women making eye contact with me, checking me out, even opening me outright. This was maybe 2 weeks ago. I had just lost a lot of weight (15 lbs in under 2 months) which put a nice cherry on top of my net 70+ lb total loss. I'm definitely not a 'fat kid' anymore, but sometimes i forget. Watching women check me out and lock eye contact with me was a huge confidence booster, as was learning what body language signals to read.

Now that we've split, I dont seem to have that same confidence. It's not like I'm staring into the abyss; I know I'll be hittin' it again soon...within a week or two. No fundamental facts have changed, only my single status. That should give me more confidence, not less. The opposite is happening. Before, I could game to my heart's content, complacent in the excuse that I couldn't actually take the interaction anywhere. That led to a nice air of "i don't give a shit" and an easy confidence that was quite pleasant. Now I feel an aggressive imperative to Game and Win. The easy confidence is gone, replaced by stress and insecurity.

No facts have changed. I look the same, dress the same, live in the same area. My life is still incredibly interesting and rich, filled with stories and experiences that most men won't have in three lifetimes.

Yet I'm intimidated, frightened, and taking my shit way too seriously. There's no reason I shouldn't be crushing it right now, but I am on a mild life-tilt and my confidence is non-existent. What a fickle beast. I'm not even sure what to do about it, other than to just get after'em and get over myself. I just wanted to vocalize this feeling so perhaps others can learn from it, or perhaps lend some advice.
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#2

Confidence is a fickle beast

I've experienced the same thing. When you are in an LTR you feel more powerful, your confidence its at the top. However when you that LTR ends, for some reason all of that seems to change and go down.

But its all in your mind, it might take time to adjust or to feel it, but you can.

Quote:Quote:

No facts have changed. I look the same, dress the same, live in the same area. My life is still incredibly interesting and rich, filled with stories and experiences that most men won't have in three lifetimes.

This is more than enough stuff for you to get that confidence back, its even better than being in an LTR. When you are feeling in doubt, repeat that quote to yourself many times. Then just go do something.
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#3

Confidence is a fickle beast

i've been getting out of the house constantly. i spent all day yesterday playin ball and cards with my friends, got to hang out in box seats at the United Ctr for the Bulls game, and I'm traveing to London in like 10 days.

its not like i'm just sitting at home doing nothing. but still, that sense of weakness pervades. logically I know that i'm easily in the top 1% (or better) of men in almost all regards, and that I am usually the one who gives women what they want....yet it emotionally does not click.
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#4

Confidence is a fickle beast

I'm a firm believer that chicks can smell pussy on a man's dick, just like they can smell when a man sits in his room playing video games and beating off. (For proof of this smell your armpits after you slay a lizard and after you jerk off. With me they are two distinct smells.)

10/14/15: The day I learned that convicted terrorists are treated with more human dignity than veterans.
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#5

Confidence is a fickle beast

got out and about today. a quad shot of espresso and some social interaction put me right. just need to remember the formula for next time
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#6

Confidence is a fickle beast

Confidence is one of the most important aspects of game, and it's power is such a deep part of our existence that it predates the evolution of the human species.

I've been watching videos of this guy Kevin Richardson who is a lion whisperer. He's essentially gaming these animals. It's amazing to watch how his relaxed confidence gets him so far with these animals.

This video in particular is very interesting because it shows Richardson getting unprecedented access to a Lionesses cubs, by using confidence/game like we do.




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#7

Confidence is a fickle beast

Wow! That guy is amazing!

I love this raw animalistic confidence! This guy is not afraid to die!

This is some of the most impressive confidence I've ever seen.

I always try to "game" angry dogs in my neighborhood!
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#8

Confidence is a fickle beast

Yeah pretty good video, mad props to that guy, he reallly has balls well placed.
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