[Leon]

Hi guys. Thanks for the website. I discovered this website along with Heartiste's blog about 5-6 months ago. I have read most of the contents. Before that I was a classic beta. I had never cold approached. To this day, I have never had one night stand.

I thought I was all alpha after reading these sites, but I found out today that reading is not enough, you have to get out in the field.

This afternoon, I decided to go to downtown (walking distance) and my goal was to ask 3 girls for their numbers.
The first girl, we were walking in the same direction, I started commenting on the box that she was carrying, and she told me her family had sent her blah blah. I talked to her for about 2 minutes and I could tell at the end that she was not that into me (I was nervous, and I was probably showing beta body language) at the stop light I asked her for her number. She said, she had boyfriend. In a regular conversation, I could have said so many things, but like I said I was nervous, and I said "Ok", I felt uneasy during this whole thing and even for about 5-10 minutes after it. But I am stubborn, and I wanted to accomplish my mission (which was to make 3 cold approaches)

After that I walked by a cafe. A girl was sitting by herself in the sun reading a book. I chickened out initially. Walked straight ahead for about 2 blocks. Turned around, took a few deep breaths. Came back to the cafe. I went straight to the girl and said " Excuse me, sorry to bother you. My name is ------, I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me". She looked at me, laughed, and then said "I am sorry, no". I took this rejection much better. I said "Oh, you broke my heart, just joking". She smiled, and I left.

I didn't approach a third girl. I had to be somewhere. The whole thing took me about 2.5 hours. There were many instances of me chickening out (girl texting so I didn't bother her etc.). But I am determined to improve. This site is great but it has to be supplemented with field action.

I am planning on buying day bang. But in the meantime, should I concentrate on the second style of approaching ( don't not chit chat just asked for their numbers)? That way, I can take baby steps toward reducing my approach anxiety.

[calex]

approach. chit chat. improve your conversation skills and learn how to pickup social cues. don't even go for the number if you are not feeling the vibe. just concentrate on the conversation, see how the natural flow develops and how it meanders from topic to topic. in an ideal situation, you will get to the point where asking for a number or a date will be the most natural thing to do in the situation.

don't do direct at this point (or ever). even if it works, you will not learn anything out of the approach.

[Under21]

I feel you, Leon. I'm a new to the game myself and I've been in your shoes. My first ever approach (in line at the DMV) was not too long ago and went really well. I got the number close and she texts me all the time now, even though I'm pretty sure she only thinks of me as a friend (whatever, I'm going to have her hook me up with one of her cute friends). My next approaches, however, were a lot like yours, a lot of chickening out, making excuses, and being awkward and nervous when I finally made the approach. I'm still a newbie, but I've been able to successfully deal with my AA so that my fear no longer prevents me from approaching women.

My suggestions: Buy Day Bang. I just bought it yesterday and it has already been well worth the money I spent. Also, check out this post over by G at TheGManifesto.com. Watch the video at the bottom of the post. I found that after watching Andrew Lindy get rejected over and over again, I was far less afraid of being rejected myself. Here is the URL to copy and paste:
http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2012/04/and...p-failures

Also, if you're over 21 (or in a country besides America) I'm told it is easier to start off practicing night game before you practice day game. I'm under 21 (thus, the username) so I don't have this luxury, but if you're over 21 or not in America, you should give it a shot.

In the end, though, I think approaching comes down to four words: Just FUCKING do it!!!

[Roosh]

Direct game is not for newbies. You'll have a very low success rate with it.

http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-pick-up-gir...offee-shop
http://www.rooshv.com/how-to-pick-up-gir...the-street

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

[Leon]

Thank you guys for taking the time to reply

[BadgerHut]

(04-17-2012 06:52 PM)Leon Wrote:  

Hi guys. Thanks for the website. I discovered this website along with Heartiste's blog about 5-6 months ago. I have read most of the contents. Before that I was a classic beta. I had never cold approached. To this day, I have never had one night stand.

I thought I was all alpha after reading these sites, but I found out today that reading is not enough, you have to get out in the field.

This afternoon, I decided to go to downtown (walking distance) and my goal was to ask 3 girls for their numbers.
The first girl, we were walking in the same direction, I started commenting on the box that she was carrying, and she told me her family had sent her blah blah. I talked to her for about 2 minutes and I could tell at the end that she was not that into me (I was nervous, and I was probably showing beta body language) at the stop light I asked her for her number. She said, she had boyfriend. In a regular conversation, I could have said so many things, but like I said I was nervous, and I said "Ok", I felt uneasy during this whole thing and even for about 5-10 minutes after it. But I am stubborn, and I wanted to accomplish my mission (which was to make 3 cold approaches)

After that I walked by a cafe. A girl was sitting by herself in the sun reading a book. I chickened out initially. Walked straight ahead for about 2 blocks. Turned around, took a few deep breaths. Came back to the cafe. I went straight to the girl and said " Excuse me, sorry to bother you. My name is ------, I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me". She looked at me, laughed, and then said "I am sorry, no". I took this rejection much better. I said "Oh, you broke my heart, just joking". She smiled, and I left.

I didn't approach a third girl. I had to be somewhere. The whole thing took me about 2.5 hours. There were many instances of me chickening out (girl texting so I didn't bother her etc.). But I am determined to improve. This site is great but it has to be supplemented with field action.

I am planning on buying day bang. But in the meantime, should I concentrate on the second style of approaching ( don't not chit chat just asked for their numbers)? That way, I can take baby steps toward reducing my approach anxiety.

That's not a bad first day - it's a lot easier to mold technique from enthusiasm than the other way around. Keep working at it.

"I had never cold approached. To this day, I have never had one night stand."

I don't want to sound like a denialist, but you don't have to define yourself by these things. Plenty of wacky shit will happen to in this game, don't get hung up on a bucket list and let things happen as they will.

You DO have to cold approach though, no getting around that. Even in social circle game.

i agree with previous advice, don't ever go out or into a set dedicated to the idea of getting a number or asking for a number. You need her to show she's worth having her number in your phone.