[wolf]

I've had moments where I couldn't make the date and I had to flake. I've tried all kinds of strategies. Not calling to flake and then call next week, calling before the date and trying to reschedule, and etc.

Whenever I do this they(girls) take it personally and never get back to me after that, or even if they do they try to friendzone me.

I want to do it in such a way that they get back to me and go out with me later.

[tomtud]

Don't give a firm counter offer. Say, will give them a shout in a few days.

[ATTA]

I use the excuse I have to stay late at work the day of the date. Then I ask to reschedule.

Easiest advice is to never flake if you want to see the girl again. Always reschedule so it doesn't feel like you're jerking her around.

[germanico]

(03-22-2012 01:15 PM)ATTA Wrote:  

Easiest advice is to never flake if you want to see the girl again. Always reschedule so it doesn't feel like you're jerking her around.

This. Just be honest and tell her you cant make it because of X, and give her another date and time. Dont be vague, dont say, "some time" or "next week", say "thursday" or "next "friday"

If she is not cool with that dont worry too much.

[Fujiwara]

I had to do this today. I needed to go somewhere and felt like bringing her along for a nice drive on a bright sunny Miami day, then decided not to...

I hit her up in the morning, here's an excerpt of txts starting from the date lockup:

Quote:

Fujiwara: Suzy, get dressed, we're going to Kendall. And don't forget to wear a skirt
Girl: Ok gettin dressed now lol

-an hour later I decided I wanted to do something else

Quote:

Fujiwara: I'm sorry but I have to cancel our adventure... I was on my way to you, too, but there is something I must attend to
Girl: No prob
Girl: At least I got up and ready
Girl: I hope everything is OK though

-then I reschedule

Quote:

Fujiwara: Maybe tomorrow we both wake up earlier and hit the beach
Girl: Totally
Girl: Just let me know what time you're thinking

Those last txts were two hours ago. I just hit her up now to lock it up and she replies not 10 seconds later:

Quote:

Fujiwara: Let's do it before noon. I come get you around 1030-1100
Girl: 1030 it is!
Fujiwara: cool

I'll more likely get there closer to 11 though, and it'll all be good.

I think that the rescheduling is important. Consider that you had her clear part of her schedule for you and she got all cute for you to look at, and now you're not showing. I wouldn't want to just blow her off because I don't know whether she will be offended ("he stood me up, what a jerk") or concerned ("he's not here I hope he's OK") and I would rather get her and me on the same page sooner than later.

[dulst]

Honesty all the way, but dont apologise and don't offer alternatives. She's lucky enough to be part of your life, so things operate on your terms.