[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Ok, so I banged a fattie and she got real clingy afterwards. Which would have been fine, because she had a good personality (ya really) and I'm open to LTRs and willing to play along (i.e. not bang other girls). Overall maybe a 3/10, and that's only because she is 17. If she weren't fat, she'd probably be a 6.

Worse, she said something about not changing herself for anyone, especially as far as weight goes, despite earlier having acknowledged it to be her problem.
As soon as she had brought up the idea of me meeting her parents and friends, I knew this was going too far. I wouldn't want to break her heart when she had already gotten attached.
Missed a golden opportunity: we talked a bit about exes before and she asked me if I still loved my ex-fiancee. I could have said "yes" to cool her off, but I didn't. Damn.

So later I had to sit her down for a talk, and used the words "you are a great,warm person but sorry, I am not physically attracted to you. I'm only telling you this because, if this continues without changes in the future it will be a serious problem for me. I wouldn't want to lead you on or tell you this after you're attached to me and expecting something."

There is no good way for any girl to hear that she is unattractive, but I have the feeling that this really hurt her, which I've wanted to avoid - not that I want to be friends with her or anything, but still I don't like hurting anyone. She said she was really disappointed that I was shallow, that she wouldn't change for anyone, and that Marilyn Monroe bullshit, that if someone can't handle her at her worst, he doesn't deserve her at her best. That was more or less my aim (getting rid of her in such a way that it made her feel like it was her decision), but it still felt lame to have to do it.
How do you let girls down gently?

Anyways, no more dumpster diving. Girl must pass both the ego and the boner test in the future, not just the boner. Otherwise it just gets awkward.

[Tuthmosis]

Solution: Don't bang fatties.

[Tuthmosis]

(03-17-2012 05:52 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Ok, so I banged a fattie and she got real clingy afterwards. Which would have been fine, because she had a good personality (ya really) and I'm open to LTRs and willing to play along (i.e. not bang other girls). However, she is really fat (5'7'' 180 lb. BMI 28, a bad case of stomach spilling over sideways and over the pussy, cottage cheese thighs, pussy lips fat enough that there's no way I'd go down on her, and I had trouble getting it up during those several times that we did it (over 2 days). Since she was also a smoker, her breath was unattractive too. Overall maybe a 3/10, and that's only because she is 17. If she weren't so fat, she'd probably be a 6.

Worse, she said something about not changing herself for anyone, especially as far as weight goes, despite earlier having acknowledged it to be her problem.
As soon as she had brought up the idea of me meeting her parents and friends, I knew this was going too far. I wouldn't want to break her heart when she had already gotten attached.
Missed a golden opportunity: we talked a bit about exes before and she asked me if I still loved my ex-fiancee. I could have said "yes" to cool her off, but I didn't. Damn.

Are you being fucking serious here?! I had to go back and highlight all of barf-worthy elements of this girl. I really hope you're trolling us right now. How did you even get this far with her? Explain yourself!

[Deluge]

She did not pass your boner test if you had trouble getting a hardon.

[Amour Fou]

(03-17-2012 06:02 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

Are you being fucking serious here?! I had to go back and highlight all of barf-worthy elements of this girl. I really hope you're trolling us right now. How did you even get this far with her? Explain yourself!

The guy is being open and honest with us, lets give him credit for that and not give him gratuitous shit.

[germanico]

If you bang her once, just stop calling and tell her "you got other plans" when she does. She should get the message that it was a one time thing.

If you bang her for some time and even go out with her, just tell her that you are still hung on someone else, or that "I dont know where this is going and I need some time for myself to sort out my feelings" and then dont call her again.

Quote:

There is no good way for any girl to hear that she is unattractive, but I have the feeling that this really hurt her, which I've wanted to avoid

Agreed. No need for it either. Blame it on yourself, or allow her to blame it on you. You can handle it, she cant.

Quote:

Anyways, no more dumpster diving. Girl must pass both the ego and the boner test in the future, not just the boner. Otherwise it just gets awkward.

Agreed too. Respect yourself and only sex women worthy of you.

[Screwston]

Ask her for money every day

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

God no, Tuth! It was a dry spell, and honestly if it weren't for that rolling (pun intended) problem, she would be great. I guess that's what allowed me to get it up (even halfway) for those first few bangs. I know, emotional connections are Beta but oh well. She does give good head, though (she said that she usually doesn't but that she liked me so much... sigh).

While P dog makes a good point, I guess I gave my own solution about "still being hung up on someone" in the first place. Still, have any of you used that line more than once without hurt feelings? Is doing it without hurt feelings even possible?

[scorpio]

This was just too funny. I nearly bust a gut laughing on this one.

(03-17-2012 05:52 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Ok, so I banged a fattie and she got real clingy afterwards. Which would have been fine, because she had a good personality (ya really) and I'm open to LTRs and willing to play along (i.e. not bang other girls). However, she is really fat (5'7'' 180 lb. BMI 28, a bad case of stomach spilling over sideways and over the pussy, cottage cheese thighs, pussy lips fat enough that there's no way I'd go down on her, and I had trouble getting it up during those several times that we did it (over 2 days). Since she was also a smoker, her breath was unattractive too. Overall maybe a 3/10, and that's only because she is 17. If she weren't so fat, she'd probably be a 6.

(03-17-2012 05:52 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

How do you let girls down gently?

Don't pick fat, young, and ugly chicks. Seriously. These girls get no play, so when they get it, it's like manna from heaven. This is the collateral damage from dumpster diving.

I'm actually more concerned that you're okay with clingy behavior. And unless I'm reading it right, if the girl was less fat (but still overweight), all this would have been fine with you. Not because I think you're a chump or anything. More that your behavior kind of invites this type of drama into your life.

How do you let girls down gently? You pick less desperate chicks. So when you split, they have other options. You can sugarcoat or evade it, but there's nothing gentle about rejection.

[Amour Fou]

@Handsome Creepy Eel

This girl's issues are not solely due to her fatness, I mean, to drop a line such as "I'm not changing myself for anyone" reads as issues on her side.

I pick up some "guilty" vibes coming from you. Nevertheless you seemed decisive when you actually made a move to talk to her openly like that. I actually say that, possibly second to "stop calling till she gets the hint" (as it saves you time), the best way to cut them lose is what you did: straight talk. It takes practice and guts, and it is was -men- do. I vouch for straight talk whenever I feel things aren't going as I want.

But I didn't like the angle you dropped. I didn't see it as "elegant", let's say, to call her "unnatractive". There are situations you don't need to be elegant, there are situations you can take it to a lower level, but this didn't seem like it. When you have a firmer sense of your boundaries, you get a better idea of what to say and what not. I'd simply say that I wasn't confortable with the way things were heading, and rather be by myself. That's enough. It is the boldness and firmness of your words that broadcast your message. Practice that firmness, the fewer words the better, and don't linger on explaining. No need to explain yourself much, they'll take the hint.

Abrupt, firm and elegant. - That's my say, no need to hide, to excuse.

Takes practice though.

Stop worrying about what happened, you learned something and now move on. I'd say that a natural flair for quality, which is a sign of an accquired feeling of self-worth, is something that is gained through experience and maturing of your inner game.

The moment you deeply know you are quality, you know you won't stand for anything less. People can feel when a man has standards and isn't needy.

The trouble becomes something else: finding preys that can actually match you...


EDIT: I just saw your reply and thought this was cool:

Quote:

I know, emotional connections are Beta but oh well

When you have a firm sense of boundaries, emotional connections don't have to be beta!

[Timoteo]

I'll skip the lecture about not banging fatties in the first place. The most you should ever let a fat girl do is suck your dick, if you MUST engage in any sexual activity with one. And that's ONLY with her clothes on.

Now that we've gotten that ugly business out of the way, let me tell you this - there IS no easy, painless way to tell someone you aren't attracted to them. There's really no painless way to tell someone you don't want to be with them no matter what the reason. The bottom line is you're telling them you don't want them. Rejection is never without a little bit of sting. I will say this - you did it the RIGHT way with her. You weren't mean, yet you didn't sugar-coat. You told her exactly what the problem was for you, so she can walk away hurt, but with the answer she needs. It's only natural for her to launch into the typical defenses to deflect the truth - that you're shallow, that she's fine the way she is, YOU have the problem (which is true...but it's a good problem to have). And it illustrates the complete delusion when sloppy chicks invoke Marilyn Monroe (Monroe was voluptuous, and not in the same ballpark, or even the same SPORT as fatties). You shouldn't spend another second thinking about her feelings. Your happiness should be your primary concern. Don't martyr yourself for a fattie with so little self-regard that she thinks she's perfect as she is. It's tragic for a 17 year-old to be built like that. Leave her to the chubby-chasers.

[Basil Ransom]

Do you enjoy banging her, and have nothing else at the moment?

Then continue banging, and don't appear in public with her. She'll get the idea, that she's just a fuckbuddy.

As we've concluded on the forums, fat girls are mentally ill. Thus "I'm not willing to change for anyone." Everyone has met a chubby chick and thought, "if only she lost weight..." She isn't going to lose the weight. The only way she will is if it she decides to. Maaaaybe if she had a group of skinny cute friends pressuring her. You will not be successful. Imagine trying to deprive a heroin addict of her drugs - she'd see you as evil incarnate. That's what you are to a fattie, by trying to make her push away from the table.

(03-17-2012 06:29 PM)scorpio Wrote:  

I'm actually more concerned that you're okay with clingy behavior.

What's wrong with clingy if she's cute? "OMG CHICK LIKES ME, WHAT DO?" Call me insecure, but I like cute chicks who are a little clingy. It's a nice change from the "banged her on the first date, still no idea if she'll pick up my next phone call" girls.

[scorpio]

(03-17-2012 06:53 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

What's wrong with clingy if she's cute? "OMG CHICK LIKES ME, WHAT DO?" Call me insecure, but I like cute chicks who are a little clingy. It's a nice change from the "banged her on the first date, still no idea if she'll pick up my next phone call" girls.

Like I said, clingy chicks are gonna introduce more drama. I don't like drama, but then again, I'm not really a big fan of LTRs either.

[Neo]

I wouldn't be a dick about it. You can be straight up, and just tell her. You can came up with an excuse, or you can use what I call anti-game. Basically all those things that got her into you, stop doing them.

And basilransom is right. Do you like banging her? If so who cares what others think. Just keep on hitting it and keep it on the DL. Nothing wrong with that. For all the anti-fattie talk on these boards I guarantee that all of us have banged (at least) one. I mean unless a guy has a notch count of like one or two. It's the nature of the beast sometimes.

[Hencredible Casanova]

Ha. I actually sympathize here. I hung out with a girl I know from social circle who I just got reacquainted with after some years without seeing her (like 2008). She was dope then but I was in an LTR and had a lot going on. She hit me up on Facebook and dropped me her number this time. I met up with her for a drink a couple weeks ago and didn't really get a good look at her. The venue we met up at was kind of dark. I could see her face was still cute and she had just gotten off of work and was dressed professionally.

Anyway, a week later (just the other night), we meet again. This time she had on a dress coming from a dinner event and didn't have time to change. Skin was showing (arms, back, legs). I realized how much weight she's put on. It must be that law school experience because I've seen how chicks often blow up after finishing law school. It's simply unattractive.

I just couldn't see myself hitting that. She's overweight but it's the kind of weight that could be concealed with deceptive clothing maneuvers. But after seeing her in that dress, I was done for. I won't call her again nor will I hit it.

[scotian]

Since it was during a dry spell I'll cut you some slack, but I hope you at least had a few drinks in ya before you hit it. I've boned a couple fatties in my day but only once in my life was I sober (I was in a remote work camp at the time so it was justified), it was gross and I haven't done it since.

This is a case where you should pump and dump, she obviously has low self esteem and you probably wouldn't have been the first dude to diss her.

But hey in a pinch, fat chicks are like scooters, they're fun to ride until your friends find out

There's also a higher chance of a fat chick swallowing, they're always hungry!

[Timoteo]

"It must be that law school experience because I've seen how chicks often blow up after finishing law school. It's simply unattractive."

My cousin MARRIED one of these. She was someone he knew from way back, but never hooked up with. He dated, then married someone else. After his divorce, we all brought in the New Year down in Miami in '04. By that time, she had graduated law school and was working as a corporate lawyer. She was definitely on the heavy side. They kind of bonded that during our few days down there, and when they returned to LA they were going strong. I had heard that before college she wasn't as big, but during law school she BALLOONED (being shut in and studying, and dealing with all the stress by eating). They ended up marrying within a couple of years (she did one of those bridal bootcamps before the wedding, but from what I could see, she barely put a dent in her weight), and next thing you know, she's pregnant, adding further poundage. He's definitely at that point where he's really not that attracted to her physically, and I'm pretty sure she's NEVER going to lose much weight. His first wife was a bitch, but she kept her body TIGHT. I can't recall him ever having a girlfriend who didn't have a nice body. Maybe because of his first wife, he wanted someone who was a polar opposite personality-wise. He sacrificed too much, now he'll have to cheat on the side to fuck someone he's attracted to.

[Screwston]

They suck some good dick though...

[Hencredible Casanova]

(03-18-2012 02:04 AM)houston Wrote:  

They suck some good dick though...

I still need to be attracted to the chick somewhat enough to get a hard on so that I can even get head. Maybe that's just me...

[Hencredible Casanova]

The girl I'm talking about who put on weight had me thinking afterwards how different men and women are. Guys, at least me, put most emphasis on attraction. Meanwhile, a very rich man with a gut will have to fight chicks off with a stick. Crazy how that works. This girl I'm talking about even has a cute face and lots going on for her. Wouldn't be surprised if she makes it as a major politician in a few years. She gets invited to the White House all the time. Still don't matter to me lol. I'd keep her as a contact though.

Also, when I say rich man, I mean a guy who has the kind of dough to pay a chick's c-note, rent, or lifestyle expenses. Those guys get the truly dope pros. They don't need game. But that's for another thread.

[GunznButta]

reading your op made me a bit ill.

you haven't been out of the usa in a while, haven't you?

you need to travel. now.

[Spike]

@Eel,

Don't feel too bad about banging a fattie ? we've all been there. Keep her indoors and out of public, like Basilransom said, she'll know how u feel about her.

What i'm really wondering about is, how can a 17 year old girl have cottage cheese/cellulite ? She must be really fat.

[el mechanico]

(03-18-2012 04:02 AM)Neil Skywalker Wrote:  

@Eel,

Don't feel too bad about banging a fattie ? we've all been there. Keep her indoors and out of public, like Basilransom said, she'll know how u feel about her.

What i'm really wondering about is, how can a 17 year old girl have cottage cheese/cellulite ? She must be really fat.

[Tuthmosis]

(03-17-2012 06:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

God no, Tuth! It was a dry spell, and honestly if it weren't for that rolling (pun intended) problem, she would be great. I guess that's what allowed me to get it up (even halfway) for those first few bangs. I know, emotional connections are Beta but oh well. She does give good head, though (she said that she usually doesn't but that she liked me so much... sigh).

While P dog makes a good point, I guess I gave my own solution about "still being hung up on someone" in the first place. Still, have any of you used that line more than once without hurt feelings? Is doing it without hurt feelings even possible?

I think, then, your best bet is to the use the unwillingness to change as your excuse. "I understand that people don't always have the ideal physiques all the time, but your unwillingness to improve--to have a goal--isn't compatible with my outlook on life." That sort of thing.

[el mechanico]

Don't sweat the fatty. She's probably got dudes trying to fuck her that she's treating like shit anyway. Just tell he that next time you have a dryspell you'll shoot her a text.

In retrospect everytime I've dumped a girl her actions afterwards were so shitty I don't think I did a good enough job. Fuck her!

I had a semi-chunk I pulled on Friday. My fault for being on here with my phone and rolling the dice at the bars instead of going out with the girl I had plans with. I woke up and saw her in my bed and looked at my phone and my baby Moma sent a text that she was dropping her off. I told her she had to go.

I walked her out and past my driveway to stop any car going down my street while she got in her car from my door so nobody would see her in my driveway walking out with a black dress and heels. She text me last night and I told her. I don't think so. She wanted to talk about the sex we had that I don't really remember but she did. She said My neighbors are having a cook out blah blah. I responded are you crazy?