[Basil Ransom]

Russia Today: Overcome by porn: 50 Shades of Grey takes America by storm

Los Angeles Times: Bestselling 'mommy porn': '50 Shades of Grey'

Jezebel: Is the Bestselling ‘Mommy Porn’ Book Worth the Hype?

New York Post: A new book about sex games and a bondage-loving billionaire has NYC moms reading like never before

Slate: Why do women love the new smutty novel Fifty Shades of Grey?

New York Times: Discreetly Digital, Erotic Novel Sets American Women Abuzz


In case you had any doubts, chicks just want to be dominated. High class, low class, good girl, bad girl... It doesn't matter. All those bored housewives feeling unhappy and unfulfilled - that is what they're missing, and that is what they crave. It's not just 'confidence' they're after.

Notably, feminists bridled () at the book's content.

New York Times Wrote:

One Long Island woman, who insisted on anonymity so that she would not embarrass her employer, said the book had gained an obsessive following among her friends, the first erotic novel they have ever discussed....

The trilogy has its detractors. Commentators have shredded the books for their explicit violence and antiquated treatment of women, made especially clear in the character of Anastasia, an awkward naif who consents to being stalked, slapped and whipped with a leather riding crop.

“What I found fascinating is that there are all these supermotivated, smart, educated women saying this was like the greatest thing they’ve ever read,” said Meg Lazarus, a 38-year-old former lawyer in Scarsdale, whose friends and acquaintances have been buzzing about the book. “I don’t get it. There’s a lot of violence, and this guy is abhorrent sometimes.”

On Friday afternoon, it was out of stock in Barnes & Noble stores in Salt Lake City, Minneapolis, Seattle, Boston and Kansas City, Mo.,

I love this piece from Time: Why Is It News That Women Like Sex? I love how this woman basically says, "WHAT? You didn't know women like to be beaten, slapped and whipped? It's common knowledge that women like to be dominated. Everyone knows that!" Yeah, right.

Quote:

“Every time I pick up this book, within five minutes of reading it, I’m already tingling below the belt,” she says.

This guy knows what's up: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-laros...39121.html

[MikeCF]

I'm a natural dom.

Started slowly, then realized all girls really wanted aggressive treatment.

Went with the flow.

Then I watched Girl with the Dragon Tattoo....Remember seeing every girl at the gym doing cardio reading that book?

That book is straight up about rape.

Yet it sold big time.

Guys who aren't dominating women are missing out.

[Timoteo]

There's a reason why "9 1/2 Weeks" and "Secretary" were popular movies. It's not just guys watching it. It's probably even more women that want to see these kinds of films. They're excited and repulsed at the same time, but they simply can't look away. "Romance" novels have always been popular with women, so even something even edgier should definitely sell better. Even women that wouldn't actually let a dude dominate them this way like the FANTASY of getting it that way. The imagination is far stronger than anything you could experience in real life. I would expect a bump in vibrator and dildo sales along with the popularity of these books. I can definitely envision women diddling themselves while reading these.

[Deluge]

Let's hope the "Average Frustrated Chump" pays attention and learns something from this.

[Belize King]

MikeCF how many out of 10 women would you say enjoyed being dominated? What would you call dominated? When I had my good run in '10-11 with the university girls I noticed that most are aggressive. I just "choke a bitch" last year and am going to start throwing that in my sex game.

[Deluge]

(03-15-2012 05:48 AM)TexasMade Wrote:  

MikeCF how many out of 10 women would you say enjoyed being dominated? What would you call dominated? When I had my good run in '10-11 with the university girls I noticed that most are aggressive. I just "choke a bitch" last year and am going to start throwing that in my sex game.

I read a study a while back claiming that 90% of women are hardwired to be sexually submissive. While 80% of men are hardwired to be sexually dominant. Meaning women are more sexually submissive than we men are sexually dominant.

[Basil Ransom]

(03-15-2012 05:55 AM)P Dog Wrote:  

(03-15-2012 05:48 AM)TexasMade Wrote:  

MikeCF how many out of 10 women would you say enjoyed being dominated? What would you call dominated? When I had my good run in '10-11 with the university girls I noticed that most are aggressive. I just "choke a bitch" last year and am going to start throwing that in my sex game.

I read a study a while back claiming that 90% of women are hardwired to be sexually submissive. While 80% of men are hardwired to be sexually dominant. Meaning women are more sexually submissive than we men are sexually dominant.

The only women that matter are the ones attracted to you. If you have a dominant personality around women, the percent of women willing to sleep with you who also crave dominance will be much higher than among the population at large. There have been women who chafe at my dominance, of course, but we never got to having sex.

I don't have strong evidence for this, but I suspect that girls drawn to more dominant men are also more DTF. Relationships with the least polarity have the least sex. I don't fuck girls who don't enjoy dominant men for the most part, but these androgynous women seem to get aroused less easily and have sex less easily. More asexual.

I snagged a copy of the book, and read a few pages. So far, the protagonist is: rich, good looking, supremely arrogant. Has a penetrating gaze. Controls tens of thousands of people (company workers). Surrounds himself with beautiful women employees - women may say 'Mad Men' type environments are oppressive and backwards, that women should be rewarded on their merits, cluck cluck cluck, but in reality, they crave and revere men who shamelessly surround themselves with beautiful women.

Parenthetically, one of the advantages of being in a scene with hot women is that the women will instinctively think you are value, due to the quality and quantity of the women there.

(03-14-2012 08:58 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

There's a reason why "9 1/2 Weeks" and "Secretary" were popular movies.

I actually tried watching Secretary recently. I found it repulsive. That BDSM has this weird creepy 'serial killer' vibe to it - the guy is weak with no panache or confidence, and he can only be dominant with a weak, flawed girl who cuts herself. He was deathly afraid of his ex-wife for chrissakes. And all the props help facilitate this idea that domination and submission, traditional sex roles, can only be expressed in the bedroom. You also don't need any props to dominate a woman - if you think you need them, you're not actually dominant, you're just play-acting. And you definitely won't be dominant outside the bedroom, when your toys aren't there to help you. I also just don't get the appeal of extreme acts of non-sexual, unprovoked humiliation of the girl.

I've never liked formalized BDSM for that reason - a lot of feminists like it because they get to enjoy the sensation of domination while still ultimately holding the reins and constraining the man. Without BDSM and its imitations, you can have either an entirely sexually unfulfilling relationship, where the man is never dominant, or a traditional patriarchal one, where the man exercises control in more than just the bedroom. Neither of these latter two options appeal to feminists, so BDSM it is.

[Giovonny]

(03-14-2012 08:58 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

They're excited and repulsed at the same time, but they simply can't look away.

Even women that wouldn't actually let a dude dominate them this way like the FANTASY of getting it that way. The imagination is far stronger than anything you could experience in real life.

I have always been surprised with how much girls let me get away with. Even girls who seem like "good girls" will often enjoy "rough sex", making videos and shit like that. They like to experiment and explore the limits of their own sexuality. I have had a few girls tell me that they didn't like it when I slapped them, choked them, etc. But, they never held it against me.

I do think there is a difference between fantasy and reality, as Timoteo says. Just because women like to read this stuff doesn't mean doesn't mean that they will let you do it. Maybe if you were as rich, handsome, and powerful as the guy in the book.

That being said, I think girls are alot more inclined to try this type of stuff then most people realize or want to admit.

Have you heard the "Caveman-Rape Theory?"...

I heard a theory that it goes back to the caveman days. Rape was so common on those days that women just had to accept it. Their brain evolved to a point were they just accepted being physically dominated and even started to enjoy it, as a survival mechanism. When they knew they were about to be raped they learned to not fight back, because fighting back lead to more serious injury or death.

Just a theory

[Kitsune]

(03-15-2012 05:48 AM)TexasMade Wrote:  

MikeCF how many out of 10 women would you say enjoyed being dominated? What would you call dominated? When I had my good run in '10-11 with the university girls I noticed that most are aggressive. I just "choke a bitch" last year and am going to start throwing that in my sex game.

All of them. The ones that don't just haven't experienced someone good enough at it.

I'm very dominant when it comes down to it, and no girl has ever said 'Don't go any further.' They've all asked for rougher.

[Deluge]

Your Cavemen Theory reminds me of Stockholm Syndrome. It evolved due to kidnappin eons ago. Primarily affects women.

[Fujiwara]

You don't have to "choke a bitch" but I have found that nearly all women like a lil' bit of neck pressure.

I was sitting in a booth in a bar last night with this one girl, she was leaning into me, I brought my hand up to her throat and gave a lil affectionate squeeze.

"You like to choke, don't you?"
You like getting choked, don't you?
"not usually, but I like the way you do it."

It's a short dialogue that I've had with a few girls. If they're into you, they like that shit!

[Anon-A-Moose]

That is the definition of irony.

[Anon-A-Moose]

(03-14-2012 08:44 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Guys who aren't dominating women are missing out.

SOOOOOOOO true.

[Timoteo]

(03-15-2012 01:34 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(03-14-2012 08:58 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

They're excited and repulsed at the same time, but they simply can't look away.

Even women that wouldn't actually let a dude dominate them this way like the FANTASY of getting it that way. The imagination is far stronger than anything you could experience in real life.

I have always been surprised with how much girls let me get away with. Even girls who seem like "good girls" will often enjoy "rough sex", making videos and shit like that. They like to experiment and explore the limits of their own sexuality. I have had a few girls tell me that they didn't like it when I slapped them, choked them, etc. But, they never held it against me.

I do think there is a difference between fantasy and reality, as Timoteo says. Just because women like to read this stuff doesn't mean doesn't mean that they will let you do it. Maybe if you were as rich, handsome, and powerful as the guy in the book.

That being said, I think girls are alot more inclined to try this type of stuff then most people realize or want to admit.

Have you heard the "Caveman-Rape Theory?"...

I heard a theory that it goes back to the caveman days. Rape was so common on those days that women just had to accept it. Their brain evolved to a point were they just accepted being physically dominated and even started to enjoy it, as a survival mechanism. When they knew they were about to be raped they learned to not fight back, because fighting back lead to more serious injury or death.

Just a theory

I think most chicks will let you rough them up, so long as it doesn't cause any real pain. Some slapping on the ass, but not too hard. Grabbing a fist full of hair and giving it a tug, but not too forcefully. Let them feel your teeth on the nipples, but don't really bite. I've had chicks laid out flat on their stomachs, and while I'm grinding I'll slide my forearm under the chin and kind of hold them there, but not really squeeze. You do just enough to make her THINK you're going to go further, but then you don't. It keeps them in a good state of nervousness and excitement.

[Timoteo]

(03-15-2012 08:39 AM)basilransom Wrote:  

(03-15-2012 05:55 AM)P Dog Wrote:  

(03-15-2012 05:48 AM)TexasMade Wrote:  

MikeCF how many out of 10 women would you say enjoyed being dominated? What would you call dominated? When I had my good run in '10-11 with the university girls I noticed that most are aggressive. I just "choke a bitch" last year and am going to start throwing that in my sex game.

I read a study a while back claiming that 90% of women are hardwired to be sexually submissive. While 80% of men are hardwired to be sexually dominant. Meaning women are more sexually submissive than we men are sexually dominant.

The only women that matter are the ones attracted to you. If you have a dominant personality around women, the percent of women willing to sleep with you who also crave dominance will be much higher than among the population at large. There have been women who chafe at my dominance, of course, but we never got to having sex.

I don't have strong evidence for this, but I suspect that girls drawn to more dominant men are also more DTF. Relationships with the least polarity have the least sex. I don't fuck girls who don't enjoy dominant men for the most part, but these androgynous women seem to get aroused less easily and have sex less easily. More asexual.

I snagged a copy of the book, and read a few pages. So far, the protagonist is: rich, good looking, supremely arrogant. Has a penetrating gaze. Controls tens of thousands of people (company workers). Surrounds himself with beautiful women employees - women may say 'Mad Men' type environments are oppressive and backwards, that women should be rewarded on their merits, cluck cluck cluck, but in reality, they crave and revere men who shamelessly surround themselves with beautiful women.

Parenthetically, one of the advantages of being in a scene with hot women is that the women will instinctively think you are value, due to the quality and quantity of the women there.

(03-14-2012 08:58 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

There's a reason why "9 1/2 Weeks" and "Secretary" were popular movies.

I actually tried watching Secretary recently. I found it repulsive. That BDSM has this weird creepy 'serial killer' vibe to it - the guy is weak with no panache or confidence, and he can only be dominant with a weak, flawed girl who cuts herself. He was deathly afraid of his ex-wife for chrissakes. And all the props help facilitate this idea that domination and submission, traditional sex roles, can only be expressed in the bedroom. You also don't need any props to dominate a woman - if you think you need them, you're not actually dominant, you're just play-acting. And you definitely won't be dominant outside the bedroom, when your toys aren't there to help you. I also just don't get the appeal of extreme acts of non-sexual, unprovoked humiliation of the girl.

I've never liked formalized BDSM for that reason - a lot of feminists like it because they get to enjoy the sensation of domination while still ultimately holding the reins and constraining the man. Without BDSM and its imitations, you can have either an entirely sexually unfulfilling relationship, where the man is never dominant, or a traditional patriarchal one, where the man exercises control in more than just the bedroom. Neither of these latter two options appeal to feminists, so BDSM it is.

I agree. The bondage thing has never appealed to me. I'm not letting anyone tie me up, put anything metal near my dick, or gag me. I have no interest in doing those things to anyone else either. I had a co-worker some years ago that was heavily into the Dom/Sub lifestyle. He had a couple of subs who allowed him to do all kinds of dumb shit to them. He let me listen in on one of his phone calls to one of them. It was hilarious. He gave explicit instructions to her as to what he wanted her to wear when she answered the door (a bra and panty set he bought her, with a dog collar and leash on also). He told me he had her get down on all-fours in the bathtub and he peed on her. Then he ran her a bubble bath, bathed and pampered her. SICK. But there are folks that are into that. And you never know which of those executives in a suit and tie is wearing women's underwear underneath, or like getting his ass whipped by a dominatrix after work.

[brianmark]

(03-14-2012 08:44 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

I'm a natural dom.

Started slowly, then realized all girls really wanted aggressive treatment.

Went with the flow.

Then I watched Girl with the Dragon Tattoo....Remember seeing every girl at the gym doing cardio reading that book?

That book is straight up about rape.

Yet it sold big time.

Guys who aren't dominating women are missing out.

Unfortunately, I don't think the reason that girls like the "Dragon Tatoo" and the other two books is because she gets raped. What they like about is that she such a bad ass bitch and beates up guys. Also she doesn't need guys, and has lesbian relationships. The fact that these books came from Sweden a real femanist country makes me also believe this. The girls love these books because she is almost a super human bitch who kicks guys asses. The latter 2 books have a lot of this.

[Deluge]

I've read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The protagonist is a dude who gets laid and fucks around quite a bit despite being a massive white knight. He literally fucked every female character in the book, and from what I've read of the 2nd one he's fucking every single female character in that one too. I wonder if female readers attraction to him has something to do with it as well...

[oldnemesis]

(03-14-2012 08:44 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Guys who aren't dominating women are missing out.

What do you mean by "dominance"? Whipping/needles, soft dominance (similar to 9 1/2) or just ass slapping/hair pulling?

[Screwston]

Bondage is weird. Tying people up, leather outfits, dog leashes....shit doesn't turn me on at all but I would still do it to a girl if she wanted me to just so I can embarass and humilate her.

[Basil Ransom]

(03-18-2012 12:42 PM)houston Wrote:  

Bondage is weird. Tying people up, leather outfits, dog leashes....shit doesn't turn me on at all but I would still do it to a girl if she wanted me to just so I can embarass and humilate her.

I was getting at that. The point of bondage is to make a woman feel dominated, to make her experience your power and her submission to it. But you don't need all these toys to do that. The toys can be counterproductive, because they might make you think you can't be dominant without them. And it makes into a game, where you only 'pretend' to be dominant, instead of seeing that as the proper, natural state of the relationship. But you could use it as a 'stepping stone.'

And humiliation for its own sake does nothing for me either. If I'm humiliating a girl, it's in service of her devotion to me. Outside of that, it seems a little deranged.

[Cr33pin]

Id like to get into some BDSM, mainly just the spanking an tying up of chicks... ofcourse in the past i have spanked some chicks an used some handcuffs or belts to tie freaky girls up... but not to the level you see in some of these BDSM movies... some of that shits strange tho they like jab needles thru girls tits an stuff.... i dunno bout all that

[basil]

Bondage is weird, the hardcore people in 'the scene' as they refer to it are even more bizzare. Some of the dominant guys sure you can tell are dominant away from the lifestyle, they are successful guys - but many were just freaky. And for every hot girl in to it there are dozens of fatties and fuglies who seem to think going kinky is the way to get a guys attention.

The crazy thing is in most of these dom and sub relationship its actually the female submissive who is ultimately in control. There is the illusion and both may not even be aware of it, but the girl is dictating terms. If she says I dont like being spanked the guy wont. Whereas a true dom guy, if he enjoys spanking, will say 'sorry sweetie im in charge, this is for my enjoyment not yours - so learn to like it *whack*'. Leaving her ass with welts is not my thing - but if it is your, she conforms to your standards (build her up to it) or it wont work.

Some of the people in the scene are into some depraved shit (scat play anyone?) and yeah some the humiliation and sadomasochism just seems to be people with serious mental issues and disorders hiding behind a fetish to me. An ex of mine had been through the wringer (I met her on the street and slowlly uncoverd her utter freak side), the more I learned about what she had done and what she really enjoyed the more I just lost respect and attraction for her. She showed me pics where she had been beaten raw and bruised for weeks all over, had over a hundred syringe needles in her skin, pissed on, etc. Yuck.

Keep it simple.

The ornate and time consuming bondage with rope work is ridiculous. Get some handcuffs, use your belt or buy some cheap ties (you can use it like a collar and leash on her, tie wrists together and to the bed, use two to tie her legs apart, blindfold, etc.)

If you want to get a bit more serious go to somewhere like Home Depot in the states and buy PVC tape (also known as self adhesive). Not duct tape with an adhesive side, this is thicker PVC that naturally clings together - wrap a few layers and they stick. Easy to peel off, reusable if you want to. You can buy the stuff in sex stores (usually called bondage tape), but you will pay a lot more for less. You can use the stuff as a temporary repair for a leaky tap or electrical insulation for instance or to imobilze your girl for fun and games, blindfold her, gag her, etc.

Wax and ice play can be a bit of fun occasionally.

Having said that, all those things are props - for show and for those incapable of getting things done without them. Being dominant and commanding is where it is at. Why tie her legs apart when you can just tell her to 'spread your legs and keep them there until I say otherwise, move and you will be spanked'. Don't rely on the props.

[Screwston]

(12-14-2011 04:02 AM)houston Wrote:  

Graphic Sexual Horror - a documentary about the infamous BDSM site insex.com.

http://www.graphicsexualhorror.com/


i haven't seen it but i want to.

I posted this in the documentary thread a while back. Does anyone else get creeped out thinking of that bondage shit? I imagine a bunch of freaks in a room with no way to get out.

[Timoteo]

"Wax and ice play can be a bit of fun occasionally."

The wax thing takes too much work, but I've had some fun with ice. I wouldn't even consider it a prop per se. It's just a fun thing to do. You can drive chicks crazy with the warm/cold sensation on their nipples, and the clit too. I've fucked with some whipped cream and chocolate syrup on occasion also. As for the whips, chains and cuffs, no thanks. I have used a scarf or two to tie her hands to the headboard, but she could have gotten out of it anytime if she wanted.

[Basil Ransom]

(03-19-2012 05:26 AM)basil Wrote:  

The crazy thing is in most of these dom and sub relationship its actually the female submissive who is ultimately in control. There is the illusion and both may not even be aware of it, but the girl is dictating terms. If she says I dont like being spanked the guy wont. Whereas a true dom guy, if he enjoys spanking, will say 'sorry sweetie im in charge, this is for my enjoyment not yours - so learn to like it *whack*'. Leaving her ass with welts is not my thing - but if it is your, she conforms to your standards (build her up to it) or it wont work.

I wrote in another thread about a site advocating male led relationships, and it doesn't suffer from the flaws of BDSM that we've identified. It's called Taken In Hand. Oddly enough, it has a traditionalist, conservative bent to it. It's a little too general, and too focused on marital relationships. But that aside, what it describes sounds a lot more authentically dominant than the BDSM I've seen. The woman is to obey the man and submit to his authority, in all spheres. But because he loves her and cares for her, he will behave within reason. Also, neither party has a way out, because they are married and believe marriage is for life. All that together makes this sort of relationship a lot more male dominant than typical BDSM ones. It's subversive, yet healthy and natural.

The overall model is instructive. If I found myself getting into a long term relationship, I'd incorporate some of their practices (except the marriage part ).

Link: Taken In Hand