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Not able to get in the mood to approach
#1

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Hey guys,

Over the past 3 months i found myself approaching less and less, and got to the point of literally not even willing to acknowledge any woman in bars/clubs.

I'm not sure if its my ego/pride whatever you wanna call it, but i find myself these days looking at a girl in a bar/club with all her make up, hair done, dress, etc and the first thing that pops in my head is "Not worth the hassle" or "i don't have the energy to put up with her BS, nor do i wanna inflate her already gigantic ego"...

I know what i am worth, and i find that one's value as a person increases with the effort one puts into him/her self. Healthy lifestyle, exercising, dressing nice, eating right, etc are all things that you can do to increase your value, aside from how you look and how tall your are, which you cant change.

I have all that, on top of good looks/height, which i feel is making me start to think that hey i'm well above average lifestyle/body/looks/career wise THEREFORE i refuse to give any woman any value UNLESS she shows some signal that she is interested (smile, constant eye contact, etc).

Of course that almost NEVER happens, especially in Toronto, and more importantly at DT venues (bars/clubs) that is filled with weak men drooling over any girl not matter what she looks like, and i refuse to be put into that category by default because of these guys.

So the way i see it, i have invested a lot in myself in every way possible, aside from genetics that can not be changed, and i must still go out of my way, swallow my pride and walk over to that girl who's value is way lower than mine just to get laid or get a number?

Fuck that! i'd rather not acknowledge her or her GFs and let them eye fuck me all night, make her feel like something is wrong with her, and she has no shot with me than swallow my pride at the risk of her turning out to be one of those broads who shoots down guys for sport.

Anyone feels/felt this way before? is it just a phase? any advice?
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#2

Not able to get in the mood to approach

[Image: I_know_that_feel_bro.png]

Lately, it also seems like the DT club scene is nothing but a sausagefest on virtually any night, saturday being the best ratios. Sunday-Friday are shit. Brassii, Cobra, Cheval, Bloke, Hoxton, Century, maison (too many older broads) dude city. Where are the chicks? College street bars?
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#3

Not able to get in the mood to approach

If you get layed regularly, and are fine with the selection, there really is no reason to approach if you don't feel like it. If you're not getting any, stop masturbating.

Balkan Power Individual™
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#4

Not able to get in the mood to approach

This is an attitude I used to have a lot and still find myself lapsing into occasionally

But you have to realize it is a mental trap- you are massaging your own ego at the expense of getting laid

Actually, i think it's a sign of progress- it's one of the last obstacles on the way to having solid inner game.

The key to overcoming it is to realize that, by taking this attitude, you are still giving the girl's opinion of you too much value

You approach because you want to approach, have fun, and get laid. What any individual girls thinks about it, or her value relative to you, doesn't matter

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
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#5

Not able to get in the mood to approach

@Gixxer: i hear ya man! not sure about college st.


Quote: (03-11-2012 08:28 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

This is an attitude I used to have a lot and still find myself lapsing into occasionally

But you have to realize it is a mental trap- you are massaging your own ego at the expense of getting laid

Actually, i think it's a sign of progress- it's one of the last obstacles on the way to having solid inner game.

The key to overcoming it is to realize that, by taking this attitude, you are still giving the girl's opinion of you too much value

You approach because you want to approach, have fun, and get laid. What any individual girls thinks about it, or her value relative to you, doesn't matter

Dude i was in the pick up community for almost 2 and a half years, after a while of practicing and taking all kinds of BS from Toronto broads, i feel that a guy starts to develop a natural asshole kind of game.

Like i am at a point where an HB9 will not even make my pupils dilate! and yes i have reached a titanium form of inner game, as in i behave around a girl who's a 9 the same way as a 4.

Therefore i don't agree that the girl's opinion is a factor here.

As for approaching to have fun, that concept in itself has disappeared, as in i don't consider that fun anymore.

To add an insult to an injury, my friends are EXTREMELY passive when it comes to game. They literally have none, and if they do have some concepts down, they have MAJOR approach anxiety.
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#6

Not able to get in the mood to approach

You need a proper wing to roll with. Someone with the same mindset of approaching girls. It makes it more fun. I met up with 2 different guys from the forum with positive results. Reach out to forum members.

Team Nachos
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#7

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Question: How often do you masturbate?

Cut that shit out for over a week. You'll be railing girls in no time.
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#8

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Please don't spread this "not masturbating will get you girls" nonsense.

The not approaching because you are too good for all the girls in the room is probably the biggest, most insidious cockblock out there. It comes from a subconscious part of you that is afraid of getting rejected. It's not a sign of inner confidence- it is the opposite. Why stick around the bar if you aren't into any of the girls?

I'm aware of this, but it still happens to me all the time. Get over yourself, or you'll be going home alone.
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#9

Not able to get in the mood to approach

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKSHq_pN3Ug
Should Help.
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#10

Not able to get in the mood to approach

The high standards cockblock is the biggest cockblock out there. The guys with the highest standards out there are virgins. If you have to practice on lower quality women then so be it but it won't last forever.
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#11

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Quote: (03-12-2012 12:18 AM)soup Wrote:  

Please don't spread this "not masturbating will get you girls" nonsense.

Not masturbating will make you horny. Horny will get you motivated. What's so hard to understand there?

Plus, there's a lot of empirical evidence (do some research, the data is out there) that refraining from masturbation and porn for a while can result in a lot of benefits - especially for people who do it daily.

Since 95% guys fall under that category, i stand by my advice.

Balkan Power Individual™
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#12

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Relying on your mood to get better at game is not a reliable method. You are trying to improve your skill and you have to work at it and practice just like any other skill. Success in anything requires effort even when you don't feel like it. Hell even not being horny shouldn't be a barrier if the goal is that important to you.
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#13

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Quote: (03-12-2012 04:17 PM)calex Wrote:  

Quote: (03-12-2012 12:18 AM)soup Wrote:  

Please don't spread this "not masturbating will get you girls" nonsense.

Not masturbating will make you horny. Horny will get you motivated. What's so hard to understand there?

Plus, there's a lot of empirical evidence (do some research, the data is out there) that refraining from masturbation and porn for a while can result in a lot of benefits - especially for people who do it daily.

Since 95% guys fall under that category, i stand by my advice.


95% of guys? Where did you get that number. Falling under what category?

Actually, the more I masturbate, the more horny I get. Having orgasms are good for your prostate regardless of how they come about.

Being horny doesn't have anything to do with having good game, and can actually get in the way sometimes.

This is a question of will power. Let the women be the ones who are controlled by their feelings. Set a goal to fuck x number of girls and just do it. Don't use " [Image: cry.gif] .. I masturbated today and now I don't have motivation" as some kind of excuse to wriggle out of it. Be a man.
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#14

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Quote: (03-13-2012 12:29 PM)soup Wrote:  

95% of guys? Where did you get that number. Falling under what category?

It's a guesstimate. I just looked it up, i'm not that far off. And yes i did fall under that category, for a while. Judging from your somewhat emotional response, i assume you still do.

Quote: (03-13-2012 12:29 PM)soup Wrote:  

Actually, the more I masturbate, the more horny I get.

Good for you. I guess you are relatively young. Not everyone has that advantage.

Quote: (03-13-2012 12:29 PM)soup Wrote:  

Being horny doesn't have anything to do with having good game, and can actually get in the way sometimes.

This is a question of will power. Let the women be the ones who are controlled by their feelings. Set a goal to fuck x number of girls and just do it. Don't use " [Image: cry.gif] .. I masturbated today and now I don't have motivation" as some kind of excuse to wriggle out of it. Be a man.

Heh, that last bit of advice got me chuckling. The topic here is motivation, not masturbation (which i'm not against per se). I'm simply suggesting a way to get motivated that worked for me, and countless other men out there. You seem to be trying to bash it, just because you don't have the same problem. Besides, what exactly is your advice for the OP? "Don't be a pussy"?

That's not very helpful.

Balkan Power Individual™
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#15

Not able to get in the mood to approach

I guess early thirties is young?? The only reason to not fap is if you want to show a girl how large your load is when you cum. But, I don't really care what she thinks of my load.

It's not so much a question of motivation, but of whether or not you believe game works. If you are new to the game, it might seem like the results you want are too hard to reach because you only have your desperate experiences as a reference. You have to just take a risk and give it a real try. Check out the intro in Roosh's bang book because I think he outlines some of the reasonable expectations to have when you are first getting started.

If you make a commitment to do something, do it. It's not like there is a barricade of fap-police blocking your front door.

Once you make a commitment, than not having "motivation" to game is just is another big fear inspired self-cockblock, like approach anxiety.

Yes, don't be a pussy. You are a man. You don't need Dumbo's magic feather.




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#16

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Quote: (03-13-2012 04:18 PM)soup Wrote:  

I guess early thirties is young?? The only reason to not fap is if you want to show a girl how large your load is when you cum. But, I don't really care what she thinks of my load.

I had one girl notice a decrease in the size of my load. She asked me who I've been fucking. Believe me they keep track of shit like that. It's crazy!! [Image: lol.gif]

Team Nachos
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#17

Not able to get in the mood to approach

Quote: (03-11-2012 11:52 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

You need a proper wing to roll with. Someone with the same mindset of approaching girls. It makes it more fun. I met up with 2 different guys from the forum with positive results. Reach out to forum members.

This forum has many experienced players that aren't as active about posting. The 2 players I have met up with on the forum have been awesome and great wings.
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