Hypothetical: Say you are going to meet up with a girl for the 1st date and a few hours before she calls or texts you and says she can't meet you. Let's say she has a plausible semi-legit excuse like work though you know it might be bs, but its 50/50 that it is a legit excuse. How do you respond to that text or call to set yourself up in a good position for the future?
What's your response to a flake?
Be nonreactive, let it happen once, be chill about it. If it happens again then delete her number.
Quote: (02-21-2012 09:28 PM)mofo Wrote:
Be nonreactive, let it happen once, be chill about it. If it happens again then delete her number.
This.
Hit her with an "lol laaaaaame" text or tell her this means she's buying the drinks once you do meet up.
Act like you don't care.. because frankly, you shouldn't.
Here's how I handle flakes like that:
Her: "Sorry I can't make it tonight something came up blah blah blah"
30 min later
Me: "Okay"
or, if I ask a girl on a date:
Me: "Come meet me at xxx at 10pm"
Her: "I can't blah blah blah"
Me: (Nothing)
And then don't contact her again until she contacts you again. Why? Because you can't chase girls. Chasing means to follow something that's running away from you. If you ran after a girl who's running away from you, she'll just run further away.
You might think, "But if I don't contact her again I'll lose the possibility of having a date with her!!"
But you'd be wrong. I've had flakes come back to me, because by not chasing I let girls come back to me.
When you chase a girl, you encourage the girl to keep running away. But if you do nothing, you're giving yourself a second chance by letting them come back to you. By ignoring flakes and pursuing new girls, you also increase your odds of getting a new bang. Girls who want to bang don't flake on you.
Here's just one recent example from my life. This is a text exchange.
2/1 (3:03pm) Me: Still good for XXX dance?
2/1 (6:39pm) Her: Sorry, something else came up, another time tho!
After her rejection, with no counter offer, I said to myself, "Whatever" and never contacted her again. However... THREE WEEKS LATER:
2/22 (8:45pm) Her: Hey, im going to XXX swing tonight, you happen to be going?
2/22 (11:13pm) Me: Was at XXX. I'll be going to XXX on Friday though.
2/22 (11:26pm) Her: Nice, i usually just do XXX if anything, maybe see yah another time!
So, by simply not chasing her, she was able to chase me back and see if I was going to a popular dance at one of the nearby universities. I ignored her text for three hours, which was the same length of time she ignored my original text on Feb 1st, because I was on a date with another girl at the time. That's right - during those three weeks after she turned me down, I had been hustling new girls into my life and was actually on a date with a girl I had banged the week prior.
I ignored the girl who rejected me, and went out in search of new girls. I was doubly rewarded for not chasing her: a new girl bouncing on my cock, and the girl who rejected me coming back to try and meet up again.
I've said it many other times, but I'll say it again, DO NOT CHASE WOMEN!
Her: "Sorry I can't make it tonight something came up blah blah blah"
30 min later
Me: "Okay"
or, if I ask a girl on a date:
Me: "Come meet me at xxx at 10pm"
Her: "I can't blah blah blah"
Me: (Nothing)
And then don't contact her again until she contacts you again. Why? Because you can't chase girls. Chasing means to follow something that's running away from you. If you ran after a girl who's running away from you, she'll just run further away.
You might think, "But if I don't contact her again I'll lose the possibility of having a date with her!!"
But you'd be wrong. I've had flakes come back to me, because by not chasing I let girls come back to me.
When you chase a girl, you encourage the girl to keep running away. But if you do nothing, you're giving yourself a second chance by letting them come back to you. By ignoring flakes and pursuing new girls, you also increase your odds of getting a new bang. Girls who want to bang don't flake on you.
Here's just one recent example from my life. This is a text exchange.
2/1 (3:03pm) Me: Still good for XXX dance?
2/1 (6:39pm) Her: Sorry, something else came up, another time tho!
After her rejection, with no counter offer, I said to myself, "Whatever" and never contacted her again. However... THREE WEEKS LATER:
2/22 (8:45pm) Her: Hey, im going to XXX swing tonight, you happen to be going?
2/22 (11:13pm) Me: Was at XXX. I'll be going to XXX on Friday though.
2/22 (11:26pm) Her: Nice, i usually just do XXX if anything, maybe see yah another time!
So, by simply not chasing her, she was able to chase me back and see if I was going to a popular dance at one of the nearby universities. I ignored her text for three hours, which was the same length of time she ignored my original text on Feb 1st, because I was on a date with another girl at the time. That's right - during those three weeks after she turned me down, I had been hustling new girls into my life and was actually on a date with a girl I had banged the week prior.
I ignored the girl who rejected me, and went out in search of new girls. I was doubly rewarded for not chasing her: a new girl bouncing on my cock, and the girl who rejected me coming back to try and meet up again.
I've said it many other times, but I'll say it again, DO NOT CHASE WOMEN!
Contributor at Return of Kings. I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.
Be sure to check out the easiest mining program around, FreedomXMR.
In a way I'm glad we're beating this dead horse. By now there should be no doubt as to the best way to handle flakes.
I will add one point to Samseau's on not chasing girls.
If she flakes even once before a first date, your chances of banging her are zilch, no matter what you do. By not chasing her, they rise from 0% to 1%, which is an improvement in chance of banging her by infinity, but it's still abysmally small.
I stopped chasing girls earlier last year when I clued into reality. Many would still contact me two to three weeks later, as they did with Samseau, but it was always to see if I was still interested/available.
In one case did my standoffishness lead to a date. In that instance, my game was subpar, but had I been more on top of it, I would've gotten the bang.
But generally... flake means you are just not that interesting to her.
I will add one point to Samseau's on not chasing girls.
If she flakes even once before a first date, your chances of banging her are zilch, no matter what you do. By not chasing her, they rise from 0% to 1%, which is an improvement in chance of banging her by infinity, but it's still abysmally small.
I stopped chasing girls earlier last year when I clued into reality. Many would still contact me two to three weeks later, as they did with Samseau, but it was always to see if I was still interested/available.
In one case did my standoffishness lead to a date. In that instance, my game was subpar, but had I been more on top of it, I would've gotten the bang.
But generally... flake means you are just not that interesting to her.
A year from now you'll wish you started today
I think the brotherhood above have basically spit the rules
- never get one-itis
- never call back.
- put a flake or a cold # on once a week mass text status, to get low effort conversions
- 1st meeting always happens in a place where you're going to have fun regardless of the broad.
What are the exceptions to the rule? I submit 2 exceptions
1) The Full Roster Rule
If you have MULTIPLE options for easy access sex, that's just a phone call or text away, it's okay to chase.
You're chasing more for the thrill of the hunt, the sport of it. There's no shame in that, as long as you avail yourself of your good options.
2) You've reached the Zen Level in terms of game. Our Brazilian brother has gotten to the point where Brazilian girls that he normally fucks with no longer interest him.
What if he comes across a chick that stirs more than his loins?
What if he meets his match, and she doesn't easily bend to his will?
When you've gotten to that zen level, it's okay to chase. Because chicks on your level are far and few between.
In your case, it sounds like the run of the mill flake, where you didn't get her to invest enough of herself into you.
chuck the # and keep it moving.
- never get one-itis
- never call back.
- put a flake or a cold # on once a week mass text status, to get low effort conversions
- 1st meeting always happens in a place where you're going to have fun regardless of the broad.
What are the exceptions to the rule? I submit 2 exceptions
1) The Full Roster Rule
If you have MULTIPLE options for easy access sex, that's just a phone call or text away, it's okay to chase.
You're chasing more for the thrill of the hunt, the sport of it. There's no shame in that, as long as you avail yourself of your good options.
2) You've reached the Zen Level in terms of game. Our Brazilian brother has gotten to the point where Brazilian girls that he normally fucks with no longer interest him.
What if he comes across a chick that stirs more than his loins?
What if he meets his match, and she doesn't easily bend to his will?
When you've gotten to that zen level, it's okay to chase. Because chicks on your level are far and few between.
In your case, it sounds like the run of the mill flake, where you didn't get her to invest enough of herself into you.
chuck the # and keep it moving.
Those exceptions sound like bullshit to me Archie
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Quote: (02-24-2012 11:47 AM)Samseau Wrote:
Those exceptions sound like bullshit to me Archie
I love the fact that the exceptions sound like bullshit to you, cause reasonable minds can differ.
But I make no apologies for the fact that sometimes a particular chick is worth a 2nd call. Most chicks are interchangeable, but a handful are not.
That's the greatest thing about the game, it ain't sudoku, it's got many solutions.
WIA
Quote: (02-21-2012 08:47 PM)Skyhigh Wrote:
Hypothetical: Say you are going to meet up with a girl for the 1st date and a few hours before she calls or texts you and says she can't meet you. Let's say she has a plausible semi-legit excuse like work though you know it might be bs, but its 50/50 that it is a legit excuse. How do you respond to that text or call to set yourself up in a good position for the future?
This happened recently actually:
We went on the 1st date....then the second date she came up with a reason or some sort that is work related(she is a nurse). I ignored it. I didnt even bother replying back....and 3 weeks later(last week friday)...out of the blue...she texted me back...i ignore...and then she texted me some more...i kept ignoring....By the end of friday i had about 15 increasingly supplicatory text messages...all in one day from her. All of which i ignored...and waited till saturday mid evening before setting up a date for sunday evening. I didnt ask her if she is going to be available, I just dictated the time and place in terse terms:" my address @ 8pm. sunday. be there. "
I then proceeded to bang her.
Here is her picture(she is the black chick)
I'm coming to the conclusion that game, at least by a narrow definition, doesn't really provide a satisfactory solution to the problem of flakiness.
I recall a blog post by Roosh a while back that basically said that to eliminate flakiness you should play the numbers game/law of averages, while trying to create a "wonderful connection" with the girls. While the former is always a good strategy, I think Roosh only managed to create this connection three times which isn't encouraging given that he's probably approached thousand of women (not out to criticize Roosh here).
I suppose there are two basic reactions to flakiness once it has already happened.
(1) If you delete her number and never call her again (ie punishment by ignoring her), well you keep your pride and selfrespect (which is most important) but often (at least in environments where hot girls are low in supply) you won't get the girl.
(2) If you act like nothing happened, well you might get a second date but in a ot of cases you'll be back to square one.
I think the solution really comes from beyond game, ie lifestyle. Improve yourself and let it show.
Basically be better and more in demand than other guys and girls will be less flaky. So, maybe flakiness is an area where the recent debate between game vs lifestyle can be settled as: lifestyle > game.
Definately combine with strong game, though (as several people have pointed out, the two are not mutually exclusive and game + lifestyle > only game or only lifestyle). Neither is enough on its own.
Oh, other than that, you can just move from the Western world to where girls generally don't flake (at least not the westernized ones).
I recall a blog post by Roosh a while back that basically said that to eliminate flakiness you should play the numbers game/law of averages, while trying to create a "wonderful connection" with the girls. While the former is always a good strategy, I think Roosh only managed to create this connection three times which isn't encouraging given that he's probably approached thousand of women (not out to criticize Roosh here).
I suppose there are two basic reactions to flakiness once it has already happened.
(1) If you delete her number and never call her again (ie punishment by ignoring her), well you keep your pride and selfrespect (which is most important) but often (at least in environments where hot girls are low in supply) you won't get the girl.
(2) If you act like nothing happened, well you might get a second date but in a ot of cases you'll be back to square one.
I think the solution really comes from beyond game, ie lifestyle. Improve yourself and let it show.
Basically be better and more in demand than other guys and girls will be less flaky. So, maybe flakiness is an area where the recent debate between game vs lifestyle can be settled as: lifestyle > game.
Definately combine with strong game, though (as several people have pointed out, the two are not mutually exclusive and game + lifestyle > only game or only lifestyle). Neither is enough on its own.
Oh, other than that, you can just move from the Western world to where girls generally don't flake (at least not the westernized ones).
Quote: (02-24-2012 10:51 PM)solo Wrote:
I'm coming to the conclusion that game, at least by a narrow definition, doesn't really provide a satisfactory solution to the problem of flakiness.
Of course game provides a solution to flakiness...
If you meet a girl, charm and dazzle her, get her back to a room where you fuck her till she can't walk, there's a very, very good chance you'll see her again.
The problem is when the process of banging her is somehow interrupted, you must grab her number and meet up again. Most guys think that it's better to take it slow, but it's not. If you only get her number without banging her, the odds of seeing her again are quite bad.
Contributor at Return of Kings. I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.
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Samseau, I agree about not going slow. It's just it's impossible or very difficult to get SNL or ONS with some girls, not least outside North America. I was just saying that there's a limitation to game and the advice being offered by game theorists when you're cold-approaching in a different culture, and getting a number is the most you can reach/hope for. In these sort of situations, you've got to increase your value through other means than just game. This is also true when you are somewhere where there are alot of competition from puas and guys into game.
When I said solution to flakiness, I meant something that more or less guarantees eliminating it, or at least vastly improves your odds.
When I said solution to flakiness, I meant something that more or less guarantees eliminating it, or at least vastly improves your odds.
Quote: (02-25-2012 07:27 AM)solo Wrote:
Samseau, I agree about not going slow. It's just it's impossible or very difficult to get SNL or ONS with some girls, not least outside North America.
The solution is, of course, to tighten your game. You gotta remember that all women are down for a ONS, as long as they are gamed correctly. This doesn't mean you'll be able to game every woman, but that every woman is gameable by some man. And that man could be you.
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Mr. SOLO,
VERY SIMPLE WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM:
Here is a very SOLID WAY to eliminate flaking: Game her soo hard and soo thoroughly that she is the one that took the initiative to ask to give you her phone number.
Do everything you can short of asking for her phone number. Make out, future project, escalate, maw her with your abusive groping hands, grind against her, grope her, lead and lead her, etc. But never ask for her phone number....just let that tension build.
If a girl initiate that phone exchange....she will MOST LIKELY NOT FLAKE ON YOU.
The downside of this strategy? Some girls simply wont give out their phone number unless you ask first.(and obviously some of these girls will result in a bang, so you will miss out on those). The UPSIDE? it is highly likely that if a girl is soo interested in you that she initiated the phone exchange against the cultural norm of that society....it is almost guarantee that she really, really, really, want to see you again.
This is my experience anyways.
VERY SIMPLE WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM:
Here is a very SOLID WAY to eliminate flaking: Game her soo hard and soo thoroughly that she is the one that took the initiative to ask to give you her phone number.
Do everything you can short of asking for her phone number. Make out, future project, escalate, maw her with your abusive groping hands, grind against her, grope her, lead and lead her, etc. But never ask for her phone number....just let that tension build.
If a girl initiate that phone exchange....she will MOST LIKELY NOT FLAKE ON YOU.
The downside of this strategy? Some girls simply wont give out their phone number unless you ask first.(and obviously some of these girls will result in a bang, so you will miss out on those). The UPSIDE? it is highly likely that if a girl is soo interested in you that she initiated the phone exchange against the cultural norm of that society....it is almost guarantee that she really, really, really, want to see you again.
This is my experience anyways.
Quote: (02-25-2012 07:27 AM)solo Wrote:
Samseau, I agree about not going slow. It's just it's impossible or very difficult to get SNL or ONS with some girls, not least outside North America. I was just saying that there's a limitation to game and the advice being offered by game theorists when you're cold-approaching in a different culture, and getting a number is the most you can reach/hope for. In these sort of situations, you've got to increase your value through other means than just game. This is also true when you are somewhere where there are alot of competition from puas and guys into game.
When I said solution to flakiness, I meant something that more or less guarantees eliminating it, or at least vastly improves your odds.
When someone flakes out by saying 'sorry I gotta do this shit and that shit', is it better to just ignore it or reply by saying 'no worries'?
How do you make it clear in the future that you won't tolerate flaking and BS? The problem I have with the non chalant attitude is that it wont make her feel guilty to flake on you again.
Quote: (02-25-2012 11:37 PM)Sebastian Wrote:
When someone flakes out by saying 'sorry I gotta do this shit and that shit', is it better to just ignore it or reply by saying 'no worries'?
It depends. How much effort has she put into you?
Has she been polite to you the entire time? Has she banged you yet? Has she been calling you all the time to set up a date?
If the answers to the above questions are no; then you ignore her.
Quote:skyhigh Wrote:
How do you make it clear in the future that you won't tolerate flaking and BS? The problem I have with the non chalant attitude is that it wont make her feel guilty to flake on you again.
Ignoring a girl is one of the worst punishments you can give to a girl. Remember, the only thing a woman wants from a man is his attention - take that away from her, and you deny her satisfaction.
Contributor at Return of Kings. I got banned from twatter, which is run by little bitches and weaklings. You can follow me on Gab.
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Quote: (02-24-2012 12:24 PM)Entropy Wrote:
Quote: (02-21-2012 08:47 PM)Skyhigh Wrote:
Hypothetical: Say you are going to meet up with a girl for the 1st date and a few hours before she calls or texts you and says she can't meet you. Let's say she has a plausible semi-legit excuse like work though you know it might be bs, but its 50/50 that it is a legit excuse. How do you respond to that text or call to set yourself up in a good position for the future?
This happened recently actually:
We went on the 1st date....then the second date she came up with a reason or some sort that is work related(she is a nurse). I ignored it. I didnt even bother replying back....and 3 weeks later(last week friday)...out of the blue...she texted me back...i ignore...and then she texted me some more...i kept ignoring....By the end of friday i had about 15 increasingly supplicatory text messages...all in one day from her. All of which i ignored...and waited till saturday mid evening before setting up a date for sunday evening. I didnt ask her if she is going to be available, I just dictated the time and place in terse terms:" my address @ 8pm. sunday. be there. "
I then proceeded to bang her.
Here is her picture(she is the black chick)
I know this is two years old. But I believe your example displays low character and do you guys really post photos of women you had sex with. That's just trashy. Low life shit. I advise anyone in here to stay away from this sort of behavior.
Quote: (05-07-2014 06:49 PM)Smoovejd Wrote:
I know this is two years old. But I believe your example displays low character and do you guys really post photos of women you had sex with. That's just trashy. Low life shit. I advise anyone in here to stay away from this sort of behavior.
How else are we going to know what they look like?
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