[RaulValdez739]

I always try to end things with women on a positive note if i can. Over the course of a relationship(Monogamous or FB), I want to feel as if I upgraded her on some level.

Also here's Roissy's take on it:Leaving her better than you found her? Not likely

What's your take on this?

[MikeCF]

I don't maliciously hurt girls, but they are always sad to lose me.

I probably leave them worse off, since they'll never land a guy like me.

They've seen the other side, and it makes dating normal guys challenging.

[mofo]

LoL

[Screwston]

I could care less in what condition they're in when I'm done with them.

[Riker]

I really doubt people on here leave them worst off unless they do it on purpose maliciously. Most girls really want to have sex and it sucks for them to not find a dude with enough game to seduce them so I think we do them a favor.

[Neo]

I don't try to intentionally hurt them, but in reality I do it all the time. I don't consider it completely my fault. If I have given signs and even made it verbally clear that I don't believe in marriage or a long term relationship and the girl continues to hook up with me cause on some level she 'thinks she'll change my mind.' who's fault is it really?

Many times I get these good girl idealists who get their hopes up even when I clearly tell them it's not going to happen. So unfortunately I tend to add another layer of hurt to them. I don't feel good about it because a lot are genuinely good people(many are not the typical American ho)

I feel a lot worse hurting a genuinely good human being than some random slut. If she's a slut I can care less about her.

[Timoteo]

I've always been a believer in treating people well. If they prove themselves unworthy of that, I'm done. No need for arguing or other histrionics. But I'm done. If I feel like I have to mistreat you for some reason, you're not a person I need to be around. I've never looked at it in terms of leaving a person better than you found them. It's not up to me. If she looks back at her time with me, and says to herself, "Wow, he was a great guy, I fucked up, I'll do better by the next guy, " then great. But I'll never know, because I've moved on.

[thegmanifesto]

(02-21-2012 04:52 PM)houston Wrote:  

I could care less in what condition they're in when I'm done with them.

Bad Karma and Bad Mojo.

[lurker123123]

treat them according to your values but remember that they are not special little snowflakes.

[TheBear]

(02-21-2012 05:23 PM)Neo Wrote:  

I feel a lot worse hurting a genuinely good human being than some random slut. If she's a slut I can care less about her.

Couldn't agree more. It all depends on the girl. Some (the sluts) I could care less about and some (the good human beings) it even hurts me when it ends.

Regardless, I think you have to be upfront and honest about what you are looking for and what you expect.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I try to improve a woman because I expect that I'll be with her for a long time, which usually doesn't end well. However, if it ends because she was a bitch, I can be vengeful and really cruel to them. That always catches them by surprise ... I mean, hate-fuck.

[Menace]

Honestly, I'm not even sure what this mantra means. Does leaving her better mean leaving her feeling better? Or does it mean improving some aspect of her personality, or life, or what? I've tried getting a girl to dress better, but that is also for my benefit. I don't think I would ever try and improve something about a girl for purely altruistic reasons. I do agree about not being needlessly cruel, and I would generally treat them well, or at least as well as they deserve.

[oldnemesis]

(02-21-2012 04:34 PM)RaulValdez739 Wrote:  

Also here's Roissy's take on it:Leaving her better than you found her? Not likely
What's your take on this?

Personally I have pretty low opinion of Roissy/Heartiste, but even he says the right things from time to time. And this was one of them.

The whole "Leaving Her Better Than When You Found Her" thing is American-made. Its origin is based on the fact that the society is incredibly hypocritical, and it is difficult for an average American to admit to himself that what he's basically using other people for his own pleasure by playing with their heads and emotions. So people come up with a lame excuse like the one in the title.

This isn't limited to pickup, this is everywhere. People make millions here to fix the problems in the other people which are caused by the difference in what you're doing and what you think is acceptable to do.

[RaulValdez739]

(02-21-2012 05:23 PM)Neo Wrote:  

I don't try to intentionally hurt them, but in reality I do it all the time. I don't consider it completely my fault. If I have given signs and even made it verbally clear that I don't believe in marriage or a long term relationship and the girl continues to hook up with me cause on some level she 'thinks she'll change my mind.' who's fault is it really?

Many times I get these good girl idealists who get their hopes up even when I clearly tell them it's not going to happen. So unfortunately I tend to add another layer of hurt to them. I don't feel good about it because a lot are genuinely good people(many are not the typical American ho)

I feel a lot worse hurting a genuinely good human being than some random slut. If she's a slut I can care less about her.

Same thing happens to me...I feel you 100%

[Samseau]

I'm very gentle with women. I try and always let them dump me.

[xsplat]

(02-21-2012 05:57 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

Bad Karma and Bad Mojo.

Ya. Attitude is like booze. You think you are can handle having a bad attitude from time to time, and all is under control. Years later you find out your attitude has snuck up on you and is all over your life.

Lately I'm trying to get back into my old meditative disciplines. A mind is like a body - if you don't maintain it it gets all flabby and smelly.

Bad attitude is not only unattractive - it's uncomfortable.

I'm a firm believer that without the ability to love, one has given up the ability to fully live.

[xsplat]

(02-22-2012 07:13 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

I'm very gentle with women. I try and always let them dump me.

Ya, but the way a woman dumps a man is to be a raging bitch who makes the guy's life a living hell until he dumps her.

[xsplat]

(02-22-2012 05:33 PM)RaulValdez739 Wrote:  

(02-21-2012 05:23 PM)Neo Wrote:  

I don't try to intentionally hurt them, but in reality I do it all the time. I don't consider it completely my fault. If I have given signs and even made it verbally clear that I don't believe in marriage or a long term relationship and the girl continues to hook up with me cause on some level she 'thinks she'll change my mind.' who's fault is it really?

Many times I get these good girl idealists who get their hopes up even when I clearly tell them it's not going to happen. So unfortunately I tend to add another layer of hurt to them. I don't feel good about it because a lot are genuinely good people(many are not the typical American ho)

I feel a lot worse hurting a genuinely good human being than some random slut. If she's a slut I can care less about her.

Same thing happens to me...I feel you 100%

I've come to the conclusion that all romance ends in either heartbreak or boredom.

There is no solution. This isn't a problem that can be fixed. If you want to be romantically involved (and most do), you have to both cause pain and feel pain.

Pain is the process.

It's life.

[xsplat]

(02-21-2012 06:46 PM)Menace Wrote:  

Honestly, I'm not even sure what this mantra means. Does leaving her better mean leaving her feeling better? Or does it mean improving some aspect of her personality, or life, or what? I've tried getting a girl to dress better, but that is also for my benefit. I don't think I would ever try and improve something about a girl for purely altruistic reasons. I do agree about not being needlessly cruel, and I would generally treat them well, or at least as well as they deserve.

I can think of girls who broke my heart who left me better than they found me.

At least I'm not such a romantic putz now.

It took me a long time to learn the lesson, but there were always girls standing in line to bitch slap my romanticism upside the head.

[xsplat]

(02-21-2012 06:01 PM)lurker123123 Wrote:  

treat them according to your values but remember that they are not special little snowflakes.

I disagree. I've had a few unique special snowflakes. Haven't you ever deeply bonded with a woman who was head over heels in love with you? And then lost her and never found her match?

It's a lovely empowering sentiment to say that women are interchangeable, but they aren't. They vary widely. Some are better than others. Some are more compatible. Some have higher libidos, better temperaments, are smarter and wittier, are more subservient, and get along with you better.

The only thing that is interchangeable is that you can spend time with a different woman. But you will have a different type of experience with a different woman. The quality will be better, or worse, or different.

Love is easy and comes easily, and it isn't a permanent thing, and men can feel it for more than one woman at a time. In that sense women are not unique. But the women themselves often are unique.

[snoop]

(02-21-2012 05:57 PM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(02-21-2012 04:52 PM)houston Wrote:  

I could care less in what condition they're in when I'm done with them.

Bad Karma and Bad Mojo.

Plus if you leave them on good terms they can be a resource for you down the road, even unintentionally.

Word of mouth is usually one of the best forms of advertising.

[Screwston]

Damn. I guess I'm the only ruthless player on here. I decided to go all out after getting my heart broken a while back.

[iknowexactly]

(02-21-2012 04:36 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

I don't maliciously hurt girls, but they are always sad to lose me.

I probably leave them worse off, since they'll never land a guy like me.

They've seen the other side, and it makes dating normal guys challenging.

Not disputing this, but curious about what you see yourself as having that they see as rare..( He was so funny, exciting rich,.... whatever the things are.)

I have an ego like this because most girls will never get to know someone as creative as I am.. movies.. music.. the other guys watch "The Game" on TV...

I not an expert in the stuff that captures their imagination, I BUILD it.

MOst girls are too dumb to even understand this. I'm so much smarter than most girls it's like talking to a dog.

[snoop]

(02-23-2012 09:21 PM)houston Wrote:  

Damn. I guess I'm the only ruthless player on here. I decided to go all out after getting my heart broken a while back.

I don't see how being ruthless does anything to correct you getting your heart broken though.

To me that attitude is kind of like breaking into a car and stealing a stereo b/c someone did that to you. I used to have that attitude, but as I've gotten older it just seemed like letting that person win twice.

[Yams]

The Game's version of "Stop running up the score".