Quote: (11-13-2018 09:34 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:
If you're 35 years old or older and you don't have genetics that allow you to age phenomenally well then you are getting too old to have kids in your life.
Let's say you get a woman pregnant when you're 34.25 and she gives birth to your first child when you turn 35. Let's further assume that you go for the typical 3 children with a civilized spacing of two years between each.
In five years time you will have a five year old child, a toddler and a newborn. You will be 40, and if you think your (modern) wife will be capable of raising them herself while you alternately work and sit around the house you are mistaken. Early child raising years are considerably more difficult that any paid work I've ever done, and it's all hands on deck 24 hours a day until the children are at least 5+. Remember, you will be 40 by then, and most 40 year olds will tell you that shit begins going downhill fast, particularly when you're working full time and on 4 hours sleep a day due to baby shit.
Five more years pass. You have a ten year old, and eight year old and a six year old. You for those last five years your free time has been spent alternately as a pack horse on family outings, playing one sport with one kid and another sport with his younger brother, throwing the youngest one in the air and catching him, and generally being used as human play equipment. You are 45 by the end of this cycle, and not the 45 you think you're on track to be, because this shit ages you quickly. By now you've put your back out several times because junior 1, 2, 3, or all 3 jumped on you when you were picking up the groceries or some other crap. If you're lucky, though, in the last two years you've managed to get them all to sleep through the night without disruptions.
Five more years pass. You are now 50. You oldest son (God willing) is now into contact sports and you will be expected to be a tackle dummy or a punching bag. Your second child is 13 and going through a laundry list of new hobbies, all of which you are expected to give aid and attention to. Your youngest is 11 and still very active. He/she will require a lot of attention in order not to develop runt syndrome. Did I mention you're fucking 50 at this point? And again, not the imaginary 50 you think you're on track to become, which itself if probably wildly unrealistic.
By the time your possible 3rd son is into those contact sports you will be heading toward 55, old man. By that stage your oldest son will be out of the house and your middle child will be starting to give you those looks as if to say "I know you pay the bills, but are you really the alpha of the household now?"
God forbid your kids follow in your footsteps, you might get to know what it is to be a grandfather just before you get dementia and forget who the fuck they all are.
Women don't get to cheat father time or mother nature, and neither do men. There are rare exceptions. You are not one of them.
Aside, I really see now why the chances of conceiving a female rise with the age of the father. Reasons for everything.
Prefacing your life plans on being that one guy in a hundred that ages like Hercules is like a bitch that prefaces her carousel habit on being the one girl out of a hundred that falls ass backwards into marriage with a witless and wealthy man.
I grew up in a big family (2nd youngest of 5 boys) and I second to what Lenny said there. My old man was 40 by the time 5 of us popped out and over three decades later at 74, he is still fit and active. Reason - he kept fit and healthy and works out. The guy puts me to shame and I'm 41. Looking back at the sacrifices my parents went through to bring us up, I am not sure I would want to have a large family, let alone a kid which would be a life changing experience.
If I don't have a kid in the next 4-5 years, I don't think I will ever have one. TBH, I am happy the way my life is right now - comfortable, single, living in FSU and heading out weekends to socialise and game. I have my health, have my job. I'm content.