It's common knowledge around here that half-decent girls have no interest in >95% of men who cross their path. They only give a shit about the few men who are the rare combination of their exact type and conventionally hot. I used to think it was ridiculous how picky they were. Now I'm the same way.
Working, even suffering, to improve your own desirability has a funny way of raising your standards accordingly. If you're a newbie sitting around dreaming about how once you get your shit in order, the girls you like will start flocking to you, I've got unfortunate news: If you really do get all your shit in order, the girls you're currently into will seem like a joke. And you'll have no conscious control over it. I'd love to be fiendishly attracted to slightly chubby 5's, but I'd have better luck trying to will my eyes to change color.
Now there is a key difference: My standards come from wanting to be rewarded for years of hard work and accomplishment, whereas girls' lofty standards are a response to god-given sexual market power in their prime years, but the result is the same; plenty of options, without any that feel worthwhile.
The fundamental problem is this: No matter where you are on the journey of self-improvement, you want girls who are [at least] your equals, i.e. those you'd be able to obtain on a level playing field. But, of course, those girls are virtually unattainable because in most locales in the west, the playing field is ludicrously tilted. See my previous thread on online dating ratios, or count up the ratios in bars/clubs/anywhere people to go meet the opposite sex... the odds are just awful to ever obtain the equal you crave.
Hate to be a downer, but I had to get it off my chest that no amount of self-improvement will alleviate your disappointment in the state of the dating market. The silver lining, of course, is that if girls motivate you to get in shape, earn a stable income, dress better, improve your skincare, be more social, learn to be likable and command respect... well, you still have all those things regardless of whether it satisfies your romantic life. Improve yourself, but don't envision some fake finish line where you're suddenly happy with everything because you have a six-pack.
Off to the gym now.
Working, even suffering, to improve your own desirability has a funny way of raising your standards accordingly. If you're a newbie sitting around dreaming about how once you get your shit in order, the girls you like will start flocking to you, I've got unfortunate news: If you really do get all your shit in order, the girls you're currently into will seem like a joke. And you'll have no conscious control over it. I'd love to be fiendishly attracted to slightly chubby 5's, but I'd have better luck trying to will my eyes to change color.
Now there is a key difference: My standards come from wanting to be rewarded for years of hard work and accomplishment, whereas girls' lofty standards are a response to god-given sexual market power in their prime years, but the result is the same; plenty of options, without any that feel worthwhile.
The fundamental problem is this: No matter where you are on the journey of self-improvement, you want girls who are [at least] your equals, i.e. those you'd be able to obtain on a level playing field. But, of course, those girls are virtually unattainable because in most locales in the west, the playing field is ludicrously tilted. See my previous thread on online dating ratios, or count up the ratios in bars/clubs/anywhere people to go meet the opposite sex... the odds are just awful to ever obtain the equal you crave.
Hate to be a downer, but I had to get it off my chest that no amount of self-improvement will alleviate your disappointment in the state of the dating market. The silver lining, of course, is that if girls motivate you to get in shape, earn a stable income, dress better, improve your skincare, be more social, learn to be likable and command respect... well, you still have all those things regardless of whether it satisfies your romantic life. Improve yourself, but don't envision some fake finish line where you're suddenly happy with everything because you have a six-pack.
Off to the gym now.