My high school sweetheart was, by all accounts, a unicorn.
A good Christian girl from a good and intact family, a virgin with every intention to stay that way until marriage, precocious, stellar grades, a love of reading, writing original poetry and short stories, and an ever-smiling ray of sunshine to those around her.
And, she was a thin, beautiful blonde with regal lips and curious blue eyes.
I broke up with her on account of she wouldn't put out, and we rekindled the old flame when we met again in college. The guy who wound up taking her cherry also impregnated her. She wound up hating him for whatever reasons, and becoming a single mom (although I think the father is still involved to some degree).
Around this same time she started to transform into a feminist. Maybe she'd always been one but she wasn't an outwardly political person up until then. The transformation changed the way she looked and dressed and spoke.
And when I visited my home town last year for the first time in 6 years, I tried to connect with her and meet to see how her life was going and she took it as a huge affront that I'd pop up out of nowhere and "act like nothing happened" and basically blew me off.
I guess I can't say I blame her in a certain sense. Because she had the makings of an honorable wife, a great mom, and a strong supportive companion. Women need leadership. Leadership that I might have provided but didn't because I went the easy, hedonistic route.
I realize I'm speculating on what might have happened had I been a strong, positive male influence in her life, and led us both in the direction of a strong traditional family life. It could have all gone to shit regardless.
But I can't help but think that many of the women who we end up resenting for their stupid ideas and attitudes are made by our own actions, often made in youthful ignorance, but ours all the same.
It pains me to think of that sweet, innocent girl so full of trust and intelligence, ready to give her whole life to a worthy man, having become a proud victim. If anything, it's not the patriarchy that failed her, but the utter lack of it.
The same was the case with my last girlfriend. She wasn't super bright but she could've been a good family woman with the right leadership too. And again I failed her there.
Obviously you can't go wifing up every girl to "save" her from becoming a jaded carousel rider or a card carrying feminist. But seeing an angel fall is something that can't be unseen...
A good Christian girl from a good and intact family, a virgin with every intention to stay that way until marriage, precocious, stellar grades, a love of reading, writing original poetry and short stories, and an ever-smiling ray of sunshine to those around her.
And, she was a thin, beautiful blonde with regal lips and curious blue eyes.
I broke up with her on account of she wouldn't put out, and we rekindled the old flame when we met again in college. The guy who wound up taking her cherry also impregnated her. She wound up hating him for whatever reasons, and becoming a single mom (although I think the father is still involved to some degree).
Around this same time she started to transform into a feminist. Maybe she'd always been one but she wasn't an outwardly political person up until then. The transformation changed the way she looked and dressed and spoke.
And when I visited my home town last year for the first time in 6 years, I tried to connect with her and meet to see how her life was going and she took it as a huge affront that I'd pop up out of nowhere and "act like nothing happened" and basically blew me off.
I guess I can't say I blame her in a certain sense. Because she had the makings of an honorable wife, a great mom, and a strong supportive companion. Women need leadership. Leadership that I might have provided but didn't because I went the easy, hedonistic route.
I realize I'm speculating on what might have happened had I been a strong, positive male influence in her life, and led us both in the direction of a strong traditional family life. It could have all gone to shit regardless.
But I can't help but think that many of the women who we end up resenting for their stupid ideas and attitudes are made by our own actions, often made in youthful ignorance, but ours all the same.
It pains me to think of that sweet, innocent girl so full of trust and intelligence, ready to give her whole life to a worthy man, having become a proud victim. If anything, it's not the patriarchy that failed her, but the utter lack of it.
The same was the case with my last girlfriend. She wasn't super bright but she could've been a good family woman with the right leadership too. And again I failed her there.
Obviously you can't go wifing up every girl to "save" her from becoming a jaded carousel rider or a card carrying feminist. But seeing an angel fall is something that can't be unseen...