Just sharing observations on a couple of experiences.
Bar psychopaths, all people have a desire to be seen as good people. People generally don't like to feel like or be told they are Nazis, deplorables or pro-rape. If you call people such names or otherwise infer they are bad, they probably won't listen to you.
The extent to which people are concerned with their public or self-image as a good person is variable and it's something that will be more noticeable as an individual has handled other areas of their life like finances, a house, relationships etc. It's why so many celebrities with their throngs of groupies and fleet of private jets resort to rampant virtue signalling. They have every pleasure in the world and are still unhappy. They think if they can become a good person they will feel good. They don't.
While telling someone they are bad is a sure fire way to get them to ignore you, calling into question someone's self-image as a good person can have them following your intent very quickly.
1) About ten years ago a guy stole what would now be about $7,000 from me. This guy made a big thing of his honour. He would always go on about how he's a "real bloke" and how he wears his heart on his sleeve. Of course, those who have to tell you those things do so because they aren't true.
For months I inquired when I am getting my money back. He just said it's coming and I never heard about it again. He had no real intention of paying. So I told him that's he's lost his honour. That he's made promises that he couldn't keep. But they key was invoking what his tyranising father would think of his behaviour. He blew his top and began paying me back over six months, though he needed constant cajoling.
2) A guy I didn't know stole some of my work and reproduced it as his own, which resulted in me losing what would now be about $1,500 of income. I found his phone number and called him. He refused to speak and told me to email him. I did and to my surprise it started an email chain of him backing himself into a corner, pretending he'd not stolen the content. He was obviously convinced by his own lies.
I did some research and found he was a Christian. I sent him an email telling him that what he did was not a very Christian thing to do. Those were the magic words that revealed to himself that he was a cunt and he stopped reproducing my work.
3) recently some guy stole $1,000 from me, as he lives on another continent it's too far to do anything about. I sent him a few emails, which I know he opened, but he didn't reply. So I looked him up on Facebook and see a post he made several years ago telling his friends that him being sacked from his job for fraud was a farce, he was a victim; and he ended it with a long drivel about how he is a good Christian.
So I email him and sternly drum into him that theft is an un-Christian act, showering in the reality that he is not who he pretends to be - a good Christian. He could hide his conscience no more. But it's too late. I deleted his reply and have posted on several places online about his theft and messaged his friends, family and pastor about his un-Christian behaviour.
They key with people who have wronged you is they will hide from themselves the reality of what they have done to you. Whatever lies they tell you to obfuscate and avoid, they also tell themselves as the average person is highly sensitive to adopting a negative self-image. It's easier to have an invented reality, than reality. You must make them confront the reality.
To get them to right the wrong requires you find the Achilles's heel of their image of themselves, i.e. being a Christian or a male feminist. If you can start destroying the ways they see themselves that are most important to them, their lies to themselves will collapse and rectifying whatever wrong they have committed may become of more value to whatever they have got from stiffing you.
Lop off the top of Maslow's Herarchy. You can do that with their words. Carting away whatever they've stole from you is a bit more difficult.
![[Image: maslow-hierachy-of-needs-min.jpg]](https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow-hierachy-of-needs-min.jpg)
Bar psychopaths, all people have a desire to be seen as good people. People generally don't like to feel like or be told they are Nazis, deplorables or pro-rape. If you call people such names or otherwise infer they are bad, they probably won't listen to you.
The extent to which people are concerned with their public or self-image as a good person is variable and it's something that will be more noticeable as an individual has handled other areas of their life like finances, a house, relationships etc. It's why so many celebrities with their throngs of groupies and fleet of private jets resort to rampant virtue signalling. They have every pleasure in the world and are still unhappy. They think if they can become a good person they will feel good. They don't.
While telling someone they are bad is a sure fire way to get them to ignore you, calling into question someone's self-image as a good person can have them following your intent very quickly.
1) About ten years ago a guy stole what would now be about $7,000 from me. This guy made a big thing of his honour. He would always go on about how he's a "real bloke" and how he wears his heart on his sleeve. Of course, those who have to tell you those things do so because they aren't true.
For months I inquired when I am getting my money back. He just said it's coming and I never heard about it again. He had no real intention of paying. So I told him that's he's lost his honour. That he's made promises that he couldn't keep. But they key was invoking what his tyranising father would think of his behaviour. He blew his top and began paying me back over six months, though he needed constant cajoling.
2) A guy I didn't know stole some of my work and reproduced it as his own, which resulted in me losing what would now be about $1,500 of income. I found his phone number and called him. He refused to speak and told me to email him. I did and to my surprise it started an email chain of him backing himself into a corner, pretending he'd not stolen the content. He was obviously convinced by his own lies.
I did some research and found he was a Christian. I sent him an email telling him that what he did was not a very Christian thing to do. Those were the magic words that revealed to himself that he was a cunt and he stopped reproducing my work.
3) recently some guy stole $1,000 from me, as he lives on another continent it's too far to do anything about. I sent him a few emails, which I know he opened, but he didn't reply. So I looked him up on Facebook and see a post he made several years ago telling his friends that him being sacked from his job for fraud was a farce, he was a victim; and he ended it with a long drivel about how he is a good Christian.
So I email him and sternly drum into him that theft is an un-Christian act, showering in the reality that he is not who he pretends to be - a good Christian. He could hide his conscience no more. But it's too late. I deleted his reply and have posted on several places online about his theft and messaged his friends, family and pastor about his un-Christian behaviour.
They key with people who have wronged you is they will hide from themselves the reality of what they have done to you. Whatever lies they tell you to obfuscate and avoid, they also tell themselves as the average person is highly sensitive to adopting a negative self-image. It's easier to have an invented reality, than reality. You must make them confront the reality.
To get them to right the wrong requires you find the Achilles's heel of their image of themselves, i.e. being a Christian or a male feminist. If you can start destroying the ways they see themselves that are most important to them, their lies to themselves will collapse and rectifying whatever wrong they have committed may become of more value to whatever they have got from stiffing you.
Lop off the top of Maslow's Herarchy. You can do that with their words. Carting away whatever they've stole from you is a bit more difficult.