[Leonard D Neubache]

Paintball teaches you a couple of things right quick that are probably extremely valid in terms of short range real world firefights.

1) You are not fucking fit enough.
2) Rookie adrenal washes turn you into a literal retard for their duration.
3) You are not fucking fit enough.
4) Rookie tunnel vision will allow guys to walk up on you from a mere 30 degrees left or right of your point of focus.
5) Half a second out of cover too long is the same as a million years out of cover too long.
6) You are not fucking fit enough.
7) Your simple mechanical device known as a gun will fuck up routinely, and if you don't know how to fix it then you're fucked.
8) You are not fucking fit enough.
9) You will get down into the most horrible, shitty place without hesitating if it gets you the best cover, or you will pay the price.
10) You are not fucking fit enough.
11) If someone has a bead on your position there are no fancy tricks to turn the table. Unless you're carrying grenades you either have them flanked or you get comfy.
12) You are not fucking fit enough.
13) Volume of fire plus flanking = win, or "opposite of #11".
14) You are not fucking fit enough.
15) The moment you decide not to use an opportunity to reload is the moment before you come up one round short.
16) You are not fucking fit enough.
17) Cover is not the same as concealment. You will ride out a withering barrage of paintballs in long grass while being ashamedly embarrassed that in real life you would be minced by actual bullets.
18) You are not fucking fit enough.
19) The more buzzed you feel on the day, the more destroyed you will wake tomorrow.
20) You are not fucking fit enough.