Been getting into meditation lately and according to Buddhist teachings and tenants of meditation, the judgments we make about others in our mind (especially if we lose ourselves in them) are unhealthy, bad for our soul and ultimately take away from our own happiness.
That said, I recently went through an experience with a chick who had tons of the typical redflags that the manosphere warns about but I chose to ignore these judgments in my mind and gave her a chance thinking that she could be an exception because of her other positive qualities. Turns out that I got burned and the judgements I initially had (from the red flags) were correct. Had I listened to my gut and the thoughts in my head from the beginning, I would not be in the situation I am now.
I find myself to be an extremely judgmental person where my mind constantly is making comments about people and making assumptions about them especially strangers. I don't think this is particularly healthy and leads myself to a negative cognitive cycle but at the same time, often times these judgements are correct.
How do we go about balancing these judgements in our mind about people so that it isn't unhealthy for us but also use them to protect ourselves and to avoid others who can potentially harm us?
That said, I recently went through an experience with a chick who had tons of the typical redflags that the manosphere warns about but I chose to ignore these judgments in my mind and gave her a chance thinking that she could be an exception because of her other positive qualities. Turns out that I got burned and the judgements I initially had (from the red flags) were correct. Had I listened to my gut and the thoughts in my head from the beginning, I would not be in the situation I am now.
I find myself to be an extremely judgmental person where my mind constantly is making comments about people and making assumptions about them especially strangers. I don't think this is particularly healthy and leads myself to a negative cognitive cycle but at the same time, often times these judgements are correct.
How do we go about balancing these judgements in our mind about people so that it isn't unhealthy for us but also use them to protect ourselves and to avoid others who can potentially harm us?