[WashedUPVet]

(12-13-2015 11:43 AM)TripleG Wrote:  

(12-11-2015 10:13 AM)WashedUPVet Wrote:  

Been in Moscow for about 3.5 months and I have identified a good girl. She is an 19 YO 8 who I met from social circle (I'm mid 30s). We have been dating now for two months (yes I know it isn't long) and I will attempt to highlight the positives and negatives of my thoughts on her as I only have 6 more months left in Russia and do not want to waste my time here and make sure I'm on the right path. I go back to California for a couple weeks soon, and I'm also interested in my feeling on reverse culture shock. Will I come back to Russia with renewed vigor? I'm feeling complacent after some time here.

Positives: She is young. For me the age gap is uncharted territory. The way she feels is wonderful and something I haven't had in 10 years. She isn't on the internet much, maybe 20 VK and FB friends in total. She maybe has one drink and is drunk, a very healthy girl who goes to the gym 5 times a week. I recently got her a one month pass to my gym, we worked out together and I observed her dedication to staying fit. Her plans for New Years are to stay home with family instead of parties with friends. She spends most of her time talking about family and rarely mentions friends. I am the first boy she has told her parents about, but I'm not sure if her first. I never asked as I don't want to know about past relationships. I make this clear in the beginning to all women I date regularly. She is smart and speaks perfect English. Her father is a prominent Russian government official (he is supportive of the relationship although I have never met him). One day in the morning I told her I wanted sex really bad that day. She told me she couldn't make it. Later that evening she called me and told me how bad she felt that she didn't come. I do think she aims to please. If I tell her to meet me, she usually comes to my location. Lastly, she isn't from Moscow, but moved here in the last 5 years from a smaller city.

Negatives: She is young. How will my family approach this age gap? I have floated it out there, but no one has really recognized her. I also ask her to do things and she seems to be a bit incapable or shy (i.e. get me a dr. to see because i'm sick. it didn't happen.) She never invites me to do anything. She always waits for me to invite or plan an outing or date. When I do, she is almost always available though. Maybe she is extremely submissive? My birthday came and went for the most part and what little we did, I planned. No gift, which I find strange for a Russian girl. Even her best friend gave me something. Outside of her best friend, I have met zero of her friends. I'm mostly worried that when I leave in July of next year there will be no way to continue the relationship as she will have to give up on university to be with me. I think this is too much for her young mind to wrap around but I did introduce the idea to her. I told her to think about what that means and that I would revisit the topic in a few weeks.

Final Thoughts: Even in a much better culture for men than the USA, it is still difficult here to find quality women who meet many of the perimeters I lay out in the positives above. I'm also thinking that someone 21-24 would be more ideal. Someone who either just started working or in the final year of the school program. The funniest thing she has said yet was, "When I first met you, I was scared of you." She must be a good girl.

Thoughts?

I am surprised by that statement...from my personal experience the women in EE are in every level superior to those of the west, especially of USA. I am still shocked how when I travel abroad I have more intellectual conversations with Russian 21 year olds than 30 year old college-educated American women. I think your only issue is overcoming the age-gap, if your girl was 5 years older I'm sure marriage questions would be creeping into your mind.

3G,
Maybe my statement was a little too strong, and you are correct on all accounts. I did say that it is much better here for men, no doubt. I'm just trying to say that a girl with all the perimeters combined is still a challenge to find (minimal internet presence and previous partners, strong family ties, beauty, healthy lifestyle, strong intellect and youth). Many have several of the above, but not all. If one of those is missing, she is immediately disqualified for LTR.