Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Printable Version
+- Roosh V Forum (https://rooshvforum.network)
+-- Forum: Main (https://rooshvforum.network/forum-1.html)
+--- Forum: Game (https://rooshvforum.network/forum-2.html)
+--- Thread: Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) (/thread-7334.html)
+- Roosh V Forum (https://rooshvforum.network)
+-- Forum: Main (https://rooshvforum.network/forum-1.html)
+--- Forum: Game (https://rooshvforum.network/forum-2.html)
+--- Thread: Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) (/thread-7334.html)
Pages:
1
2
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Mace - 10-14-2011
Met her doing a day game approach on campus Friday two weeks ago. Tall blonde, 22, 7.5, bio major, slightly socially awkward but cute, somewhat of a loner, lives at home with her parents.
Met up for drinks the following Friday. Split two pitchers, brought her back to my place, make out, but she suddenly becomes non-responsive and starts to pass out on me (no clothes come off). Didn’t escalate hard physically and try to get the panties off as with most girls I bring back to the crib - saw some long term potential with this one. I walked her home (too tipsy to drive) – hold hands and walk arm in arm part of the way.
She texts me on Saturday.
Quote:Quote:No response.
Her: Hey how are u did u enjoy yourself last night
Me: I had a good time, in TO now. so how bad was your hangover this morning
No contact Sunday or Monday.
I text her on Tuesday 9:30PM:
Quote:Quote:
Me: just drove by a girl in leather go go boots and thought of you. how was your long weekend?
Her: Haha it was alright a bit too much procrastination making up for it now you?
Me: lol awesome. worked on the magazine project I told you about. went to my Helen's friend's big fat Italian/Chinese wedding... Asian grandmas dancing to rap = win
Her: Ah right you were saying that sounds like a good time i did go kayaking down the grand yesterday...beautiful weather stunning fall colours
Me: awesome ya the fall foliage is amazing. gotta cook now I'll call you in a bit
Call, chat about my weekend, ask about hers. Some teasing and callback humour about our Friday night. Tell her my schedule’s busy but I might be free again this Friday. She says she may have the weekend free but may be going out with a friend on Friday. Tell her I’m out of town this weekend (legit). I end the phone call by telling her I’ll text later this week to confirm. Conversation is about 30 minutes.
No contact on Wednesday.
Text her on Thursday 8:30PM.
Quote:Quote:No response.
I just dominated two 60 yr old men at pool. self esteem = all time high. how did your midterm go?
Call her at 10:30. She doesn’t pick up. I don’t leave a voicemail but text her:
Quote:Quote:
hey just called
She texts me back a few minutes later.
Quote:Quote:I don’t respond.
Oh shit sorry didnt realize cell was in the other room and it appears i do have prior engagements bed now!
Am I losing her? Normally I wouldn’t care but this was a lizard I felt a genuine connection with. How do I salvage this?
Here’s the girl:
![[Image: stats.png]](http://tindeck.com/image/jxek/stats.png)
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Batata - 10-14-2011
I would recommend you wait it out until she contacts you. This might take up to a week. If she's really a loner she will eventually call/text back when she feels lonely.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - ElJefe - 10-14-2011
Dude, you need to go and read some of the other threads about one-itis.
But it's over, yeah. Just to learn from it - you were too interested, too fast, and not cool enough.
Like this:
"just drove by a girl in leather go go boots and thought of you. how was your long weekend?"
Death. She replied because she thought you were sweet, but being sweet means not getting laid.
What's more - any kind of elaborate signs like a "=" in a message is too much.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Batata - 10-14-2011
What are some templates you use for opening up text conversations, eljefe?
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - el mechanico - 10-14-2011
Mace. I love your posts but I want to give some advice.
1.Stop talking about any type of relationship nonsense with girls. Just stop!
2.Slow down when you talk. You talk way to fast. It puts a nervous vibe on the girls. Slow down.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - MikeCF - 10-14-2011
Asking about any given woman isn't game.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Basil Ransom - 10-14-2011
Your text game could use a little work. When it comes to texting, you want *her* leading the conversation. Accomplish that by not asking her questions. I noticed in online dating, when you write tersely in an IM, after you've built some attraction, if she likes you, she will take up the slack in the conversation. If she doesn't, it's very likely she's attention whoring.
The main thing is she decided to pull back, and chasing her in response only makes it worse. Bitches may not want to see you again for any number of reasons, and not necessarily because of your game. Keep working on the fundamentals.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - jariel - 10-14-2011
Quote: (10-14-2011 11:42 AM)MikeCF Wrote:
Asking about any given woman isn't game.
Just judging from his posts I'm not sure I believe any of dude's stories, I mean, not to say the events don't happen at all, I just think he throws a lot of extras on them.
Like oh ya, I got this girl back to the crib after drinking at a bar, and all I could get was some making out, and now I can't even get her to return my texts.
Maybe you sucked at kissing, maybe she thought you were a bitch because she went back to the house with you and you didn't fuck her, maybe it didn't happen at all, who the fuck knows.
I honestly wish more of us real players here were able to share game on some next level shit, instead, we have to spend most of our time advising dudes who will never be good with women, period.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Mace - 10-14-2011
Appreciate the input fellas.
In hindsight I think walking her the 20 minutes to her home was the first in a series of mistakes. Somehow I'd been demoted from cool suave alpha to beta chump in her eyes.
Of course by walking her home I'm thinking "she'll appreciate me for being a good guy, a gentleman not like the rest". She's thinking "wow what a chump. Doesn't he have anything better to do?"
Classic case of mistaking kindness for weakness.
I even offered to pay for a cab and have her pay me back later but she declined. In retrospect I should've just let her stumble home slightly tipsy and told her text me when she got home. (While walking her home she alluded to doing this before). Who cares if she gets raped right?
If I'm to take my game up I need to purge myself of my innate goodness. This is how stone coldhearted players are created.
Also took a peek at her Facebook profile - her ex bf of 2 yrs looked like a lowdown dirty piece of white trash. Maybe I made the mistake of mistaking a ho for a housewife.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - tenderman100 - 10-14-2011
Mace, remember that IOI is like tennis -- it's back and forth. She first had IOI, and went to your place (the highest IOI). Since that you've hit the ball back to her and she....well, she's not returning the volley.
Step away.
Remember, the brain of a lizard is almost always in a state of confusion.
Quote:the internal monologue in the brain of lizards Wrote:
Is he OK? Do I like him... or really like him? Does he just want to get into my panties or is he bf material? God I can't believe I passed out in his place...can I be a slut? No, no, I did like him, but I just don't know, it felt so good, but so icky at the same time. I am so confused. I was so easy to get, should I play hard to get now? I wanna talk to him...but it's so easy to just let my phone go to voice mail. God, I'm a mess.
This is how their thought processes work. Every woman's brain is wired this way, it is the epitome of Evo Psych. Wanting to fuck, but wanting nurturing monogamy. Civilization has done and will do nothing to tame the hurricane in their hamster brains.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Mace - 10-14-2011
Quote: (10-14-2011 12:16 PM)jariel Wrote:
Just judging from his posts I'm not sure I believe any of dude's stories, I mean, not to say the events don't happen at all, I just think he throws a lot of extras on them.
Like oh ya, I got this girl back to the crib after drinking at a bar, and all I could get was some making out, and now I can't even get her to return my texts.
Maybe you sucked at kissing, maybe she thought you were a bitch because she went back to the house with you and you didn't fuck her, maybe it didn't happen at all, who the fuck knows.
I honestly wish more of us real players here were able to share game on some next level shit, instead, we have to spend most of our time advising dudes who will never be good with women, period.
Easy there champ. Nobody's born a player. We all learn through conscious trial and error and advice from seasoned players.
Teach us how it's done, sir.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Prowl - 10-14-2011
Do not contact her for 2 weeks.
Then text her "which bear is best?"
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - DLuzhin - 10-14-2011
Walking her home was good, don't let others tell you otherwise. It's what an honorable man would do.
She's probably an INFP. Introverts are harder to bed than extroverts, but that can be nice as they're not as promiscuous and more trustworthy. It's beyond the scope of texting back too soon. I'd find a copy of "Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene for situational options.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - WesternCancer - 10-14-2011
Quick question. I keep hearing everyone use the term lizard, whats the definition of a lizard?
You should've negged her about passing out the night of instead of agreeing with her. Never reply directly like that. Try not to contact her so much and say a bit less in your messages. Get her talking.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Neo - 10-14-2011
I think you made mistakes. You brought her back to your place and made out so she's definitely into you, but the texting is what is probably scaring her. I immediately focused on these two phrases being partial game killers:
"just drove by a girl in leather go go boots and thought of you how was your long weekend?"
and
"how did your midterm go?"
They are too relationship like for a girl you don't know that well. You wrote that with this girl you felt a genuine connection, and I think that's the problem. I'm not saying to be cold, but I have been in your shoes many times. When it comes to showing feelings, she has to lead. Before sex a woman's investment is pretty much zero. I would have scaled back on any 'boyfriend talk' and kept it more funny/interesting. Also when you didn't hear from her for a few days, I would have continued to wait and not texted her at all until she contacted you. If you lose her so be it.
It's really a fine line that I myself have not mastered yet, but at some point you have to take a risk to lose her. I do it all the time when I set up dates especially with online girls. It's the day of the date and I never hear from them. Texting something like 'Are we still on?' is weak. So instead I just don't text. If she is really serious and interested she will text soon before herself with something like 'Hey are we still meeting up in an hour?' if she's not you won't hear anything. Have I lost some girls like this? Probably, but the ones who came through were very sexually interested in me.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - flashbang - 10-14-2011
Quote: (10-14-2011 12:20 PM)Mace Wrote:
Also took a peek at her Facebook profile - her ex bf of 2 yrs looked like a lowdown dirty piece of white trash. Maybe I made the mistake of mistaking a ho for a housewife.
Oneitis for sure but once overcome, a learning experience that will make you stronger next time.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - pitt - 10-15-2011
Quote: (10-14-2011 12:20 PM)Mace Wrote:
Appreciate the input fellas.
In hindsight I think walking her the 20 minutes to her home was the first in a series of mistakes. Somehow I'd been demoted from cool suave alpha to beta chump in her eyes.
Of course by walking her home I'm thinking "she'll appreciate me for being a good guy, a gentleman not like the rest". She's thinking "wow what a chump. Doesn't he have anything better to do?"
Classic case of mistaking kindness for weakness.
I even offered to pay for a cab and have her pay me back later but she declined. In retrospect I should've just let her stumble home slightly tipsy and told her text me when she got home. (While walking her home she alluded to doing this before). Who cares if she gets raped right?
If I'm to take my game up I need to purge myself of my innate goodness. This is how stone coldhearted players are created.
Also took a peek at her Facebook profile - her ex bf of 2 yrs looked like a lowdown dirty piece of white trash. Maybe I made the mistake of mistaking a ho for a housewife.
You remind me of this cat who i met in DR not too long ago. He would meet girls and take them out to restaurants and shit like that and i would just meet them and take them to my house (unless it was time for me to eat than i would go grab a food with them and take them to my house and bang). But guess what, till today, i sometimes carry a bit of that side where i compliment a chick when she is really all that. My advantage is that i dont invest too much of my time in her, if i truly like her, i may show it but at the same time im fucking 15 other girls on the side, so me playing the sweet guy with her and her not wanting to get involved, doesnt make a difference to me. But i hardly meet good girl types anymore, they all whores even if they look like good chicks. Last time i met a good girl on the airplane she was telling me that she wanted to take me to church, next minute i was touching her (yes on the airplane) and she gave me her number so i could call her and fuck her. Man dont show too much emotions, they all whores.
But fuck it, keep some of that gentleman side..but one that loses that gentleman side real quick. I give you another example..i can come across as being very polite but soon as the girl gets to my house, i become all agressive and try to fuck her (not agressive as violent, agressive as hungry for some sex).
Anyway, dont believe in that love bullshit and you will be fine. You doing a great job anyway, you definetely not a completely nerd who has no idea of what he is doing.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Moma - 10-15-2011
Quote: (10-14-2011 01:47 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:
Quick question. I keep hearing everyone use the term lizard, whats the definition of a lizard?
You should've negged her about passing out the night of instead of agreeing with her. Never reply directly like that. Try not to contact her so much and say a bit less in your messages. Get her talking.
I am the man of lizards. I can answer your concerns.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - RedBull - 10-15-2011
lol Nadia huh? sounds like a eastern european hottie. lol you sir are fucking weird, recording a girls conversation. Haha, so this is your approach to her, nice pick up line, nice testerone index approach. good learning material depends on what works with some girls. so good for that. now we demand a picture to match the voice. hehehe. LOL WTF HERPA TOLOGIST haha fucking weirdo. ALONG CAME POLLY!. lol. do tell us what happened with her. what did she do with you? is she holding her vcard?
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - XXL - 10-17-2011
Quote: (10-14-2011 12:20 PM)Mace Wrote:IMO that happend when you had her on the plate at your place and didn't make the move due to her going a bit cold. that's often a ultimate shittest when a girl turns into a statue to watch whether you lose your mojo or not. she wants to see how you deal with bullshit in your life. so she gives you some and observes : ))
In hindsight I think walking her the 20 minutes to her home was the first in a series of mistakes. Somehow I'd been demoted from cool suave alpha to beta chump in her eyes.
Quote: (10-14-2011 12:20 PM)Mace Wrote:i would say not even that. she's like "oh what a nice gentleman.. guy has potential.. he cares about me.. now i can't fuck it up by having sex too early.. i gotta play it safe and see if he commits.." and from now on she put a brake on everything.
Of course by walking her home I'm thinking "she'll appreciate me for being a good guy, a gentleman not like the rest". She's thinking "wow what a chump. Doesn't he have anything better to do?"
it's exactly like a guy who "actually like the girl" therefore he wants to play it safe and move things very slow not to fuck it up. then not only he actually fucks it up by doing it this way but also playing it safe signals to the girl that he's not man enough to just take what he wants (or at least try). even though he might be a full pimp with other girls, in this situation he switches and all the girl knows is what she SEES. and what she sees is another weak chump beating around the bush.
you HAVE TO BE CAREFUL about role you play as the slower/softer you move forward with the girl the more you fall into boyfriend/husband role. and if that's not for you right now then stay away from playing it safe and holding back.
truth is.. we all have different sides and masks like conservative side and adventurous/wild side etc and we reveal them depending on who we interact with. this means we as guys are responsible for how girls treats us and how they view us and what role we put ourselves into. so to have super fun time with her without all that expectations and judgements bullshit it takes the right type of guy (stimulus) to make her comfortable and elicit that adventurous/slutty side from her to the surface. the guy who gets her horny, who makes her wet, who moves fast and escalates, who stays cool calm and collected, who treats sex as fun lighthearted experience, who is nonjudgmental about her desires/fantasies, who can fuck the shit out of her and make her breakfast in the morning.
big paradox is that the good/well rounded guys who lack that ability (the best BF for the girl in her mind) often get laid the least cause they usually too considerate and too empathic and uncosciously play a role of future super BF so the girl is delighted and becomes nice innocent girl to keep him chasing. whereas so called bad boys don't have these constraints and they do what works (move fast and keep it fun and sexy) so there is there is ZERO ambiguity. the girl knows what's up from the get go and she can go with it or not.
so it looks like "Ok, that guy is not dicking around this dude will fuck me at the slightest opportunity". THE GIRL NEEDS TO FEEL THAT FROM THE GET GO. this one thing alone eliminates all of the bullshit like sex resistance and prolonging intimacy etc.
the whole jist of it is to express your interest and put balls on the line like that and basically choose to man up and be awesome badass she fantasize about.
of course it doesn't mean that girls miraculously will jump on you dick just because you play to win. but you get 100% of girls you meant to get. and ones who dismiss you wouldn't be into you if you played it safe either way.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Samseau - 10-17-2011
My take is that you shouldn't have brought her back to your place unless you were gonna bang her. She's obviously fucking some other guys on the side.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Mace - 10-17-2011
Ya my mistake was not going for it. The default assumption is if she follows you home after drinks at 1 AM, she knows what's up, she wants to bang.
In retrospect I think her suddenly becoming non-responsive / "passing out" was an act - she was awfully chipper on the walk home. The freeze-out was a giant shit test and by not even trying to go for the pussy she took me for a pussy.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Mace - 10-17-2011
Ya my mistake was not going for it. The default assumption is if she follows you home after drinks at 1 AM, she knows what's up, she wants to bang.
In retrospect I think her suddenly becoming non-responsive / "passing out" was an act - she was awfully chipper on the walk home. The freeze-out was a giant shit test and by not even trying to go for the pussy she took me for a pussy.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - el mechanico - 10-17-2011
Quote: (10-17-2011 05:25 PM)Mace Wrote:Fake pass out? start cooking and making drinks and talking to friends on the phone and having fun by yourself. Like you don't even know she's there.
Ya my mistake was not going for it. The default assumption is if she follows you home after drinks at 1 AM, she knows what's up, she wants to bang.
In retrospect I think her suddenly becoming non-responsive / "passing out" was an act - she was awfully chipper on the walk home. The freeze-out was a giant shit test and by not even trying to go for the pussy she took me for a pussy.
Watch the possum get up.
Am I Losing Her? (Backwards Momentum in Dating) - Mace - 10-19-2011
Quote: (10-14-2011 12:14 PM)basilransom Wrote:
Your text game could use a little work. When it comes to texting, you want *her* leading the conversation. Accomplish that by not asking her questions. I noticed in online dating, when you write tersely in an IM, after you've built some attraction, if she likes you, she will take up the slack in the conversation. If she doesn't, it's very likely she's attention whoring.
Basil, you have a lot of solid insights. Can you give an example of this? A text transcript ideally.