Dating distant relatives - Printable Version

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Dating distant relatives - MrMojoRisin - 07-09-2018

So a friend of mine, a girl wanted to hook me up with her friend. Turns out she is the grand daughter of my mothers sister. I live in a relatively small country so this is something to always watch out for as it can obviously lead to very awkward situations.

This is not something I´m willing to pursue even though sadly the girl in question is smoking hot and has shown interest in me.

Just interested in your guys thoughts/experience on stuff like this. How far away in the family tree should she be so its not awkward or creepy?

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Dating distant relatives - Johnnyvee - 07-09-2018

Quote: (07-09-2018 06:32 PM)MrMojoRisin Wrote:  

So a friend of mine, a girl wanted to hook me up with her friend. Turns out she is the grand daughter of my mothers sister. I live in a relatively small country so this is something to always watch out for as it can obviously lead to very awkward situations.

This is not something I´m willing to pursue even though sadly the girl in question is smoking hot and has shown interest in me.

Just interested in your guys thoughts/experience on stuff like this. How far away in the family tree should she be so its not awkward or creepy?

Well, Darwin had 10 kids with his cousin Emma, and they turned out all right for the most part. (Quite successful in fact.) We are all descendants of smaller bands of hunter-gatherers after all, (Usually less than 150 individual groups) so dating and mating in the extended family would have been the norm for our ancestors for the most part.

I think people are excessively squeamish about this, but in the modern cultural context I wouldn`t date someone much closer than what you mentioned. But as far as inbreeding goes it shouldn`t be a problem at all as long as you go further out than your first cousins.

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Dating distant relatives - kbell - 07-09-2018

This thread has potential.

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Dating distant relatives - realologist - 07-09-2018

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Dating distant relatives - Johnnyvee - 07-09-2018

Quote: (07-09-2018 07:07 PM)kbell Wrote:  

This thread has potential.

Unfortunately our primate and hominid ancestors are often portrayed as ugly and "dumb" looking. I think it`s a way of distancing ourselves from our animal past...well trying to forget we are indeed animals. It`s a consequence of religion mostly I guess. Nature rarely produce ugly organisms. I think this might be a more accurate portrayal of a Neanderthal; (WB?)

   

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Dating distant relatives - Sidney Crosby - 07-09-2018

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Dating distant relatives - goodvibez - 07-09-2018

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Dating distant relatives - WombRaider - 07-09-2018

That sounds like a first cousin once-removed, OP. Not very distant.

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Dating distant relatives - MrMojoRisin - 07-09-2018

Quote: (07-09-2018 07:45 PM)WombRaider Wrote:  

That sounds like a first cousin once-removed, OP. Not very distant.

I really haven´t given genealogy much thought to be honest so the thread title is perhaps not right for this particular situation. Even though I´m not an expert on genealogy and all the right terminology I saw straight away this was a no go zone.

Like I said, this is a small country I live in so even though this has not happened before its likely I might encounter a situation like this again in the future, so I´m giving this some thought... when is someone far enough away in the family tree for it to be socially non awkward

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Dating distant relatives - Cobra - 07-09-2018

Let me get this straight.

Your friend wanted to hook you up with your cousin or did he already start to hook you up? It turns out maybe the latter because you said she's shown interest in you.

Those are two different things. Subtle but important.

If your friend knew about the relation or your cousin did, I'm surprised they moved forward.

You're the only one not jumping on that bandwagon.

That said, I think you want to hear from us that you shouldn't do it.

Many forum members here then will gladly take over for you. Just say the word.

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Dating distant relatives - MrMojoRisin - 07-09-2018

Quote: (07-09-2018 07:58 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

Let me get this straight.

Your friend wanted to hook you up with your cousin or did he already start to hook you up? It turns out maybe the latter because you said she's shown interest in you.

Those are two different things. Subtle but important.

If your friend knew about the relation or your cousin did, I'm surprised they moved forward.

You're the only one not jumping on that bandwagon.

That said, I think you want to hear from us that you shouldn't do it.

Many forum members here then will gladly take over for you. Just say the word.

My friend had a picture of me with her on her instagram. Her friend saw it and was asking to be hooked up with me or my friend tried to hook her up with me. Anyways the friend was interested. I wanted to see who she was and therefore asked my friend for her friends name and found her FB page, where I saw a picture of my mothers sister and voila.

And lol, no I didn´t need anybody here to tell me not to do it. Just thought it would make an interesting topic here.

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Dating distant relatives - Bluto - 07-09-2018

So you are the guy:

How's the weather in WVA?

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Dating distant relatives - Bluto - 07-09-2018

Delete

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Dating distant relatives - Seadog - 07-09-2018

So basically your cousin's kid? My cousins have kids, and my mom loves them and is constantly slyly mentioning "oh it's great to have kids around again..." because I've definitely hesitated in that dept. We visit a lot, to the point that the kids refer to me as "Uncle Seadog".

For me, I think the rule of thumb would be if I can trace the link without having to look stuff up, it's too close. I had great aunts who would invite me to Thanksgiving dinner, along side their grand kids (my second cousins) and despite that being the only time I've met them, that would still probably be too close for comfort. In short, if it could realistically get found out in the chatter of my mom talking to her aunt "oh so apparently your son is dating my granddaughter..." I'd try to avoid.

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Dating distant relatives - wi30 - 07-09-2018

There have been too many retarded threads started in the last few weeks from low post, zero rep accounts.

We need a purge.

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Dating distant relatives - Fortis - 07-09-2018

That's a new one. Incest Troll.

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Dating distant relatives - Tex Cruise - 07-09-2018

OP is surely a troll, nobody could possibly consider their first cousin's daughter a "distant" relative. Only a niece or his own daughter could be a more closely related generational equivalent.

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Dating distant relatives - Beyond Borders - 07-09-2018

Proposing a new subforum:

Distant Cousin Game.

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Dating distant relatives - Contagion - 07-10-2018

First of all, OP, you are talking about your second cousin. That's what you should've said instead of making it complicated by saying "the granddaughter of my mother's sister".

To the OP, please consider that there's always the possibility that she'll get pregnant no matter what precautions you take. Your potential actions with your 2nd cousin have the potential to affect another human being in a very profound way on a societal, cultural and biological level. Remember that.

And while a lot of people are calling OP a troll, this does happen more than what you would think in the US. I know OP mentioned he lives in a small country, but I want to give you guys some perspective that this doesn't only happen in second or third world countries.

I used to work with a buddy of mine who told me a story one time about how he made friends with this one guy at university.

The guy ended up telling the buddy of mine that he came from a rural part of a southern state in the US. It was a poor, depressed and backwatered place with only a few hundred white people in it, maybe even less than 200.

I guess the town used to serve some kind of purpose back in the 19th century. However, it was clear that the town no longer served any kind of economical purpose in the present day. It was just one of those small towns in America that somehow got left behind in the 20th century, leaving only a few hundred stragglers left in the town who never out.

The guy told the buddy of mine that he knew several people who married their first cousins from that small rural town that he came from and that it was a fairly common occurrence in small towns throughout that southern state.

The simple fact of the matter is, that there just wasn't a whole lot of variety of women to go around in that small town. A lot of people would say "ok, then move to a better place with better opportunities."

Well, that would be the logical thing to do, but how many decisions in poor, poverty stricken and rundown places are made by using sound logic? Generally speaking, not many.

According to the guy from that small rural town, the people who married their first cousins in that community, and I'm assuming in most other cases that you hear about, were generally low IQ individuals who didn't have a whole lot going on for them in their lives. They were stuck in a viscous cycle of welfare, drugs and alcohol.

I'm not making excuses for them, but problems like this do exist in the United States. I don't know if OP was trolling or not, but first cousin marriages do happen and more often than not they come from a place of poverty.

It's actually pretty sad.

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Dating distant relatives - LaFleur - 07-10-2018

There is way too much pussy in this world to be considering banging your cousin's daughter.

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Dating distant relatives - Duke Main - 07-10-2018

A first cousin once removed is not a distant relative. Unless she's hot.

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Dating distant relatives - worldwidetraveler - 07-10-2018

How distant are we talking? 20, 10, 5 miles away?

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Dating distant relatives - Horus - 07-10-2018

Quote: (07-09-2018 11:37 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Proposing a new subforum:

Distant Cousin Game.

No need. We already have the Family sub-forum.

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Dating distant relatives - Running Turtles - 07-10-2018

In some small countries (like Iceland) which has a total population of less than many cities, this is an actual problem. It's further complicated by non-traditional last names that don't make it easy to determine whether someone is related. There's even an App to help people avoid sleeping with their unknown relatives (https://www.bbc.com/news/av/technology-2...-relatives ). OP: Maybe try downloading it?

With that said, there's no excuse for even asking the question. Book a flight out of there and find some other girls.

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Dating distant relatives - MrMojoRisin - 07-11-2018

I feel pretty stupid now starting this thread. Maybe this was a stupid matter to bring up on the forum, I guess so in retrospect.
I aware of the atmosphere here regarding low count no rep members starting "useless" threads so I can understand if some of you are annoyed. I try pretty much to contain myself from doing so but thought maybe this was a valid reason to start one, guess I was wrong.

I have no desire to even try to make arguments against what some have implied here that I´m secretly longings for family members. I know who I am so it doesn´t bother me and would not be a meaningful way to spend ones time or others.

I am grateful for the helpful content I´ve found on this forum and was not my wish to be labelled as someone thats sabotaging it.

So I hope you accept my apologies and rest assured I will contain myself before thinking about starting another thread.

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