How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Printable Version

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - PolymathGuru - 12-12-2017

Two heretics Jehovahs came knocking on my door today. Anyways, they offered to read a passage from the "bible" which I responded "I have a Bible and haven't had a chance to read all of it. Showing me a passage can be like giving spoilers to an upcoming movie. You would end up ruining the bible for me." Then they gave me a pamphlet which I had promptly threw into the garbage.

One of the women had nice teeth. It would have been nice if she guzzled down my cock. Should I have asked them where the pet shop is?

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - The Beast1 - 12-12-2017

Instead of being a prick about it, ask them difficult theological based questions.

"I know that Jesus is the path to salvation. What sets you guys apart from other denominations?"

Or say thanks, but not interested.

Relax, they're doing God's work.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - C-Note - 12-12-2017

Jehovah's Witnesses, if I understand correctly, are required to do a certain number of hours of proselytizing each week or they get into trouble with the religion. They aren't professional or full-time missionaries, for the most part, like they are for other religions. So, it doesn't do much good to give them a hard time. Also, since they're usually from your same community, it's probably a good idea to be on respectful and congenial terms with your neighbors.

I'll usually ask them for a pamphlet or if they have an old copy of one of their magazines (I think they're required to sell the current copies. If they give them away they'll have to pay for them out of their own pocket). I tell them I'll read it and, if interested, I'll show up at the local Kingdom Hall and ask for more information.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Mess O. - 12-12-2017

How do you deal with a Jehovah's Witness? You don't.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Piankhi - 12-12-2017

Depends on how hot she is.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Laska - 12-12-2017

I'd probably just have a good conversation with them. After all, they aren't beating anyone up or stealing anything. Why make a big deal out of it?

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - questor70 - 12-12-2017

My ex wife was a JW.

It's a cult and like all cults they attract nutsos, in a bad way. You don't want to mess with them. Also, the religion is on the puritanical side but the elders get off on hearing you confess all your carnal lapses to them.

It's tempting to think they're LTR material because they're inexperienced and conservative, but trust me. It's bad all around.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Mercenary - 12-12-2017

You deal with them like a boss

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - heavy - 12-12-2017

Perhaps I don't understand the question.

If you want to have a conversation with them, have it.

If you don't , say thanks but you're too busy.

Deal? Just communicate your intentions. Seems like the way you'd "deal" with anyone who wants your attention, only this exchange has basically no catch 22.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - PolymathGuru - 12-12-2017

I was just trying to mess them. Trying to have some fun. Maybe I was being dick about it.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - 911 - 12-12-2017

The last time a JW approached me, I told her that her cult was a satanic masonic cult.

Their founder Charles Taze Russell is burried in a masonic cemetery, his tomb leaves no doubt about his true beliefs:



I showed that woman a picture of his tomb on my phone, she said it was not real, they're totally brainwashed.

Some background on that cult:

http://jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Relig...ses/jw.htm

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - blck - 12-12-2017

You want them to go running out your front door?

Ask them where they stand about pedophilia and then tell them that you have another view about the subject that you cannot derails from and close the door.

You still have to know a lot theologically to be able to blow every attack they'll throw back at you after this, especially if you tell them that you're catholic ("church does it too" argument)

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Dusty - 12-12-2017

I say “a shame your guy Mitt Romney didn’t win.” Or, “Jehovah witness? So you’re from Utah? Love your people’s tabernacle choir - got the Christmas record.”

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Jetset - 12-12-2017

Last time this happened I was having noisy sex with the LTR upstairs with the window open. I looked outside and saw what it was, two miserable old bags with literature, and sent her down half-dressed with her hair sticking out in all directions.

She opens the door, they're visibly shocked as they figure out what the noise was.

I'm in the stairwell.

"Do you, uh, have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?"

Me: "Not really, she's busy."

"...OK, thank you."

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Mess O. - 12-12-2017

Quote: (12-12-2017 12:25 PM)911 Wrote:  

The last time a JW approached me, I told her that her cult was a satanic masonic cult.

Their founder Charles Taze Russell is burried in a masonic cemetery, his tomb leaves no doubt about his true beliefs:



I showed that woman a picture of his tomb on my phone, she said it was not real, they're totally brainwashed.

Some background on that cult:

http://jesus-is-savior.com/False%20Relig...ses/jw.htm

Like I said, don't -fuck- with it.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Beyond Borders - 12-12-2017

There have been a few times I've sat and had a discussion with them. Nothing wrong with being able to confront foreign ideas head-on and perhaps even consider their insights and their flaws.

If I don't have the time or patience, I politely tell them I'm busy and send them on their way.

Barring that, just ignore the knock.

Treat them like you would any other friendly stranger. Doesn't have to be difficult.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Piankhi - 12-12-2017

I normally give them a fake name and number. Then I tell them I will come their church when I can. At least their reading material is for free.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Kona - 12-12-2017

Those people are burglars casing your house. Most of them are damn gypsies.

Answer the door with a shotgun in your hand, let them know you got cameras and someone is always at your house. Then tell them never to come back. Fire a shot in the air if that's legal in your community.

You think it's a friendly couple talking about religion. Nope. They are looking for easy access to your home.

Be careful out there.

Aloha!

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Laska - 12-12-2017

Quote: (12-12-2017 12:40 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

I say “a shame your guy Mitt Romney didn’t win.” Or, “Jehovah witness? So you’re from Utah? Love your people’s tabernacle choir - got the Christmas record.”

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir does produce some great Christmas music.

One thing that could be said is that you don't want to talk to them. You can be as straightforward as that, without making a (probably) false excuse like, "I'm busy."

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - PapayaTapper - 12-12-2017

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - MOVSM - 12-12-2017

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Dulceácido - 12-12-2017

Just shout, "Praise Satan! May he reign forever!"

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Nacho - 12-12-2017

Total waste of time. If you debate them they just like to argue for arguments sake. Even if you plainly show them how their cult was wrong in trying to predict the end of the world in the past they could care less.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Moto - 12-12-2017

Along with Mormons, I'd invite them in and plant seeds to convert them to the Catholic church.

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How do you deal with a jehovah witness? - Handsome Creepy Eel - 12-12-2017

My best friend used to be a Jehovah's Witness - it fucked him up with various complexes and anxieties for life. They have all the downsides of a cult, with none of the benefits of a closed traditional society like Mormons or Amish - their girls that I've met were some of the biggest attention whores that you could imagine.

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