Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Printable Version

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-10-2016

A month ago, I was daygaming in a Colorado mall on a Saturday (crowded) and was approaching girls with the pet shop opener or would sometimes ask where the Apple (phone) store was as my old smartphone was broke. When I was tired after 10 approaches, I put my laptop near the wifi area and began working on my book - just approaching girls who walked near where I was. I suppose the Security Guard (a guy in his 20s) was on to me, and on my 18th approach, actually approached me as I was rambling with a good looking latina girl, and asked:

Security: "Sir, what are you doing?"

Me: "I am looking for the Apple Store (the girl walked away at this moment) Maybe you can help me find it?"

Security: "Yes, it is on the other side of the mall."

Me: "Do you think it is OK if I leave my laptop here while I go over there?

Security: "I would not recommend it"

Me: "All right, I will pack it up."

I wen back to my laptop and started packing it up as the Security Guard walked away. Actually visited the Apple Store. I did five more approaches on my way out but always kept him in the back of my mind.

Anyways, this was the first time ever that any authority figute had a problem with my approaching.

Have you guys had similar situations and how did you resolve them?

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Mushroom - 10-10-2016

Never even close to having an issue like that. Also, don't ever leave your laptop unattended anywhere. Even if you're at a coffee shop and you need to take a piss, you take it in with you. Doesn't matter if there is a security person there or not, it's not their job to look after your stuff.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Merenguero - 10-10-2016

What the hell happened with the first seventeen approaches you did? That is more concerning than anything a security guard did or didn't do.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Prof. Ligate - 10-10-2016

How are you making these mall approaches? Are you talking to moving or stationary girls? YAD stop?

I ask these questions because ideally people shouldn't really take notice that you're making approaches - or in the off chance that they do, not care that you are

Maybe the security guard was being a bit of a white knight in your situation... but more than likely you're simply bringing too much attention to yourself while you daygame. A good player can seamlessly calibrate his approaches to make them not really look like approaches

Good effort on the approaches - and don't stop approaching in this kind of volume - but maybe do so in the future with a bit more tact

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-10-2016

Quote: (10-10-2016 09:48 PM)Mushroom Wrote:  

Never even close to having an issue like that. Also, don't ever leave your laptop unattended anywhere. Even if you're at a coffee shop and you need to take a piss, you take it in with you. Doesn't matter if there is a security person there or not, it's not their job to look after your stuff.

Thanks, I was not planning on leaving it, I just asked him for a favor (Ben Franklin method) so that he would be sympathetic to me.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-10-2016

Quote: (10-10-2016 09:53 PM)Merenguero Wrote:  

What the hell happened with the first seventeen approaches you did? That is more concerning than anything a security guard did or didn't do.

Unfortunately, I did not get any numbers. Had a good chat with a very good looking brunette in short skirt before her boyfriend came back from restroom, than had an approach near the food court, asking a latina about her laptop - again bf came back from restroom) Than talked to an Asian chick about where the petshop was, she was aloof and after 5 minutes of babbling, gave up. Had another 5 girls explain to me that the petshop was closed and recommended I go to Petsco accross the Interstate. One was looking it up on her phone and checked that it was indeed closed - I rambled how difficult it is to find a good Petshop in Colorado, to which she replied: "I know, but I hope you find it, good luck." Had another 4 point to the directory, which is in many places. Don't remember the other ones but one black girl would not even stop when I asked her for the petshop.

One of my close calls, was approaching a girl who was sitting on a bench, got a good talk about her I-phone, told her I needed to buy a new phone and needed her advice where it is better to buy in USA or in Europe. She asked me where I am from - got a good round of personal questions, as I was about to ask her for a date, her friend came back, who cockblocked me and told her that they needed to go. The cockblocker had a shirt of the same university to where I went, tried to get a conversation going about the University - what she studies, etc., but my target had already gotten up and the two started walking away. I was not going to chase

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-10-2016

Quote: (10-10-2016 10:00 PM)Prof. Ligate Wrote:  

How are you making these mall approaches? Are you talking to moving or stationary girls? YAD stop?

I ask these questions because ideally people shouldn't really take notice that you're making approaches - or in the off chance that they do, not care that you are

Maybe the security guard was being a bit of a white knight in your situation... but more than likely you're simply bringing too much attention to yourself while you daygame. A good player can seamlessly calibrate his approaches to make them not really look like approaches

Good effort on the approaches - and don't stop approaching in this kind of volume - but maybe do so in the future with a bit more tact

At the beginning I was doing stationary, if a girl was sitting at food court and not eating or if she was near some store just standing. Did about 4 of those and got unlucky with some of them waiting for friends or girlfriends. Than would do approaching moving girls, just kind of intercept them in some point in the mall. This is tiring as you need to find a way around the girl, to come around and approach face to face. Sometimes, need to really speed up my pace before she would walk out of sight - perhaps this got attention of security.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Kona - 10-10-2016

A mall security guards job is to observe what's going on in the mall and make sure nobody is up to anything fishy.

Asking seventeen people where the apple store is constitutes fishy in my book.

Was this an indoor mall?

Aloha!

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - XPQ22 - 10-10-2016

Sounds like you were just beating the shit out of that venue and spam-approaching too quickly.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Merenguero - 10-10-2016

I don't know if I live in the twilight zone or what. If I do five approaches, there is a really good chance that sex will happen with two of them at some point and an almost 100% chance that I will bang one of them. I make some serious mistakes (I used to make more) and still have that kind of success. Everywhere except Mexico, where I get girls, but have to put in some serious work. O.P. if you are in a mall, there are sit down restaurants and a food court. Invite girls to whichever of the two fits into your budget, do an instadate, then push for a venue change. If every girl turns down your invitation for an instadate (doubtful), then I don't know what to tell you.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-10-2016

Quote: (10-10-2016 10:17 PM)Kona Wrote:  

A mall security guards job is to observe what's going on in the mall and make sure nobody is up to anything fishy.

Asking seventeen people where the apple store is constitutes fishy in my book.

Was this an indoor mall?

Aloha!

Yeah, indoor. There is a small outdoor section with nighttime restaurants and some beautiful landscaping - but did not do any approaches there.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - RatInTheWoods - 10-11-2016

Annoying everyone's gf in the mall with spam approaches warrants a security intervention.

At least wait for an IOI or check its not a couple before imposing yourself!

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - debeguiled - 10-11-2016

There are also always undercover people there too, so one of them may have seen you talking to a series of strangers and gave the uniformed guy the heads up. Sounds like what happened wasn't that bad though, and you dealt with it pretty smoothly.

There is no doubt that there is heightened suspicion towards men these days. The cafe that serves the best coffee in my town has a rule about men not talking to women they don't know, and the hipster men and hambeast women that work there enforce this with relish.

It seems too that multiple approaches from a single spot is a bad move. It would be much better wandering around the mall, in and out of stores like you are shopping, and talking to women as if it is incidental to what you are there for.

In the big malls they are always on the lookout not just for shoplifters but anything that doesn't relate directly to money being spent, so they might have thought you were approaching people trying to sell something, or scam them, or doing some sort of activism.

It really is pretty fucked up, when you think about it, because in most cases, these malls came in and ruined the downtowns, becoming the de facto downtowns themselves, only instead of public space, they are private space, so now the prime meeting place of a town is not a free open space, but under the rules of businessmen.

Kind of a death knell for community when the main public space goes private.

I once heard Ralph Nader debating a corporate guy about this issue, the corporate guy being, of course, completely in favor of the private subsuming the public.

Nader had a great crack. He said, "Hey, Thomas Paine! No handing out pamphlets in the King George Mall!"

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - GreyFFM - 10-11-2016

I'll echo debeguiled. you behaviour was ununusual from a security perspective, so they got in your face.

kudos for handling it well, and approaching so much. there was a famous DJ who said if you don't clear the dance floor once, you are not a real DJ. By that he meant you always have to be pushing the envelope and trying new things. If you don't risk playing something that people don't like, you have lost your edge.

of course, day game by design should be a little more subtle. if you are 0-for-17, you need to rethink things. 17 approaches in one spot is a lot. move around a bit. Also, you may need to calibrate a little better. Try a pocket microphone and transcribe your approaches. See if there are patterns where certain prhases hook or certain phrases spook the lizard. Superbowl champion coaches in the NFL watch film every week; you have to do the same to get better.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Kona - 10-11-2016

Also, be situationally aware next time you do this.

You may have been asking people where the apple store was when you were three feet away from one of these:


Aloha!

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Giovonny - 10-11-2016

I have spam approached. I have run around city streets, shopping malls, and university campuses approaching girls..

But, I have never been stopped by security..

Why?

I blend in.

On campus, I carry a backpack..

On the street, I carry grocery bags or wine jugs..

In the mall, I always carry shopping bags from the "cool" stores in that particular mall.. This gives the appearance that I am a real shopper...

Sometimes, I actually buy stuff from those "cool' stores. (I often return the stuff later)

Other times, I just go in the store and ask for a bag. (I keep my phone, wallet, keys, etc, in the bag)

I NEVER WALK AROUND EMPTY HANDED! IT LOOKS MUCH MORE SUSPICIOUS THAN IF YOU ARE CARRYING BAGS!

And...

If I know I will be in one single location for a few hours approaching lots of girls... I will not approach too aggressively or too directly.. I will approach more in an indirect, "natural" type of way...

I will walk along side of girls and open them rather than trying to get in front of them and physically stop them.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-12-2016

Quote: (10-11-2016 04:32 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

I have spam approached. I have run around city streets, shopping malls, and university campuses approaching girls..

But, I have never been stopped by security..

Why?

I blend in.

On campus, I carry a backpack..

On the street, I carry grocery bags or wine jugs..

In the mall, I always carry shopping bags from the "cool" stores in that particular mall.. This gives the appearance that I am a real shopper...

Sometimes, I actually buy stuff from those "cool' stores. (I often return the stuff later)

Other times, I just go in the store and ask for a bag. (I keep my phone, wallet, keys, etc, in the bag)

I NEVER WALK AROUND EMPTY HANDED! IT LOOKS MUCH MORE SUSPICIOUS THAN IF YOU ARE CARRYING BAGS!

And...

If I know I will be in one single location for a few hours approaching lots of girls... I will not approach too aggressively or too directly.. I will approach more in an indirect, "natural" type of way...

I will walk along side of girls and open them rather than trying to get in front of them and physically stop them.

Great advice for next time, thanx) Will carry a bag and stay away from the Directories)) Also, I see 3 other people voted Yes in the Poll about being stopped, would love to hear your stories.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - AWright - 10-12-2016

A lot of it has to do with where you're located. Located in a high volume city? Chance of being stopped by security nearly nill. Located in smaller city? You can easily develop a reputation if you go to the same venues weekly. That's the reason I got stopped by security and banned from a venue, a mother hen threw a fit to security after running into her group of friends a couple times downtown, I said somethings I probably shouldn't have said after she gave me attitude but in small cities there is no anonymity. They ban me for a weekend, I come back the weekend after and the doorman tells me to behave myself at the beginning at the night, as he knew me by name. I then leave with a girl later that night and go by the doorman and he stops her and asks if she knows me, she says yes and we continue out. Ever since I have been banned, when I come back a week later the doorman says that isn't good for business. I got in one time because the doorman was gone, around 1 am the bouncer taps my shoulder and says I have to leave, the head security that the mother hen complained to still remembered me from 9 months prior. Small cities suck, I live in a city that has a metro area of around 900,000 in the Midwest. Paul Janka has said if you are going to be doing this you need to be in a large city where there is anonymity or there will be reputational issues.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Easy_C - 10-13-2016

And why are you approaching in a mall? They're there to buy their shoes not get hit on.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-13-2016

Quote: (10-13-2016 12:27 AM)Easy_C Wrote:  

And why are you approaching in a mall? They're there to buy their shoes not get hit on.

When fishing, you got to go where the fish are) Part of Daygame: Cafes, public transport, stores, etc.

Waiting around for the time when girls want to be hit on is too cumbersome. I think the last time I was actively approached by a girl was 2014)

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - sterling_archer - 10-13-2016

Quote: (10-12-2016 04:59 PM)AWright Wrote:  

Small cities suck, I live in a city that has a metro area of around 900,000 in the Midwest. Paul Janka has said if you are going to be doing this you need to be in a large city where there is anonymity or there will be reputational issues.

If you consider this small city, what do you think about city of 50,000 where I live? Stories like yours make me think should I do the daygame here. There are chances of getting across same person and maybe even this reputation issues you say...

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - GlobalMan - 10-13-2016

OP I recommend you combine the backpack, wine, and "peacocking" all into one. When they start to tire of hearing about the travails of poorly located pet shops you can hand them a stout cup of Franzia and soon they will forget all about it.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Philosopher - 10-13-2016

Quote: (10-13-2016 01:52 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

OP I recommend you combine the backpack, wine, and "peacocking" all into one. When they start to tire of hearing about the travails of poorly located pet shops you can hand them a stout cup of Franzia and soon they will forget all about it.

Awesome) the next trip will be exciting)

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - AWright - 10-13-2016

Quote: (10-13-2016 01:44 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  

If you consider this small city, what do you think about city of 50,000 where I live? Stories like yours make me think should I do the daygame here. There are chances of getting across same person and maybe even this reputation issues you say...

Definitely be cautious and be sure your not making waves at a venue, if you are just leave. I goto the same venues in the downtown scene nearly every weekend and it was my 2nd favorite spot that I was banned from. The thing with daygame is that it is a lot more laid back and casual. Roosh commented on my city when he toured the Midwest and said social circle is your best bet here, probably in your town also.

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Ever been stopped by security for approaching? - Adrenaline - 10-13-2016

No, but I've been kicked out of clubs for approaching. Apparently having the balls to talk to a girl means you're highly intoxicated.

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