Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Printable Version
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Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - RexImperator - 11-03-2015
In a lot of threads I see posts guys giving advice to "hit the gym" and of course you absolutely should, for health reasons, both mental and physical, but I believe the benefits, as far as attracting women, tend to be exaggerated. Especially given the time horizons involved.
(FYI I've been lifting weights for over two years.)
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - H1N1 - 11-03-2015
Quote: (11-03-2015 11:20 AM)RexImperator Wrote:
In a lot of threads I see posts guys giving advice to "hit the gym" and of course you absolutely should, for health reasons, both mental and physical, but I believe the benefits, as far as attracting women, tend to be exaggerated. Especially given the time horizons involved.
(FYI I've been lifting weights for over two years.)
I agree and disagree with this. I think that to the extent there is a benefit, it is mental rather than physical - as far as attracting girls is concerned. Most people do seem to get a bump in confidence when they go from being pitifully weak to passably athletic, which most guys can do in 6 months or so. That confidence is valuable for the much vaunted 'inner game' that is much talked about around these parts.
As far as physical attraction goes, I'm inclined to agree. The timeline to actually looking like you lift for most people is a lot longer than we are lead to believe. I can wear well fitted clothes with long sleeves and still not look like 'a lifter' to most observers, and I'm 6'1, over 190lbs, with abs, so would consider myself bigger than most I meet. In a t-shirt it's different, but that's only likely to happen a few weeks a year here in the UK. I've been playing contact sports all my life and training with weights or bodyweight since I was about 14.
If that can be the case for me, who has a reasonable natural affinity for this sort of stuff, then many people are going to find it an even greater struggle. If the motivation is to pick up chicks with their sweet new gunz, then I would say they are going to be sorely disappointed and probably lose interest long before they see any benefits (from their interaction with women). Dressing well, becoming charming (noone seems to mention this much in the manosphere), actually becoming interesting by doing exciting things or reading good books - all these things give a better return in my view than the gym, as far as getting girls is concerned.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Designate - 11-03-2015
I don't think these claims are exaggerated at all: thread-42296...#pid877734
If your mental and physical gains from the gym are not helping you build a cornerstone of confidence in your life then you aren't hitting it hard enough or you have deeper problems to which there is no true panacea for anyways.
Obviously you need to build your style and body language in conjunction with this too, but it all starts with hitting the gym.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - PhDre - 11-03-2015
Quote: (11-03-2015 11:42 AM)H1N1 Wrote:
As far as physical attraction goes, I'm inclined to agree. The timeline to actually looking like you lift for most people is a lot longer than we are lead to believe. I can wear well fitted clothes with long sleeves and still not look like 'a lifter' to most observers, and I'm 6'1, over 190lbs, with abs, so would consider myself bigger than most I meet. In a t-shirt it's different, but that's only likely to happen a few weeks a year here in the UK. I've been playing contact sports all my life and training with weights or bodyweight since I was about 14.
I think that "looking like you lift" means something different to men and to women.
Many men have been brainwashed by pictures of pro bodybuilders. For them, you only look like you lift when you are 220 lbs+ at a low bodyfat. A muscular bodyweight that can only be achieved by one of these means:
1) having good genetics (big frame) and putting in many years of consistent training and eating as you pointed out.
2) PED use
For women, a man looks like he lifts if he has a nice V-taper, good muscular definition and a bit of muscle mass on him.
That look can easily be achieved with 1-3 years of proper training and eating.
And indeed, most fit men will never look big when fully clothed (mainly because there are so many huge fat asses). However you can look very good with fitted shirts, t-shirts, sports jackets.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Austrian - 11-03-2015
I kind of disagree with RexImperator. Of course hitting the gym and lifting heavy weights is not a panacea for attracting chicks, BUT i think it´s one of the most important things when trying to attract women. Of course other things like working on your vibe, charm, clothes, learning a new language etc. are also very important, but most chicks dig an muscular physique. While most girls certainly don´t find the IFBB pro physiques very attractive, they prefer a jacked/ripped/big guy to a non-lifter, even when he´s lean/thin. I can only speak for me, but since i began lifting about 4 years ago, my success with girls sky-rocketed. My game also improved, so i think it´s a combination of various factors.
Hitting the gym not only affects your physique, but also your confidence. Especially if you focus on heavy compound movements like squats and deadlifts, your testosterone levels rise. I started hitting the weights to attract chicks, but now it´s only a distant secondary reason. It makes me feel good and improves my confidence, and in combination with improved aesthetics, helps me to attract chicks. Of course there are huge meatheads who don´t have any game at all, no style, are shy etc.Those guys couldn´t even approach or much less attract a girl if their life depended on it. But if you work on other areas of your life/game also, the gym definitely helps when trying to score. I don´t think the benefits of hitting the gym often as far as attracting chicks are exaggerated.
SO GO LIFT SOME HEAVY ASS WEIGHTS!!!
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - NewMeta - 11-03-2015
Agree.
I've probably generated more attraction from females via my gymnastic skills vs my actual physique which as others have mentioned here is completely irrelevant in most of the clothes I wear. It's also quite great conversation because you can relate to a lot of similar sports such as dance, yoga, trampolining, aerial etc... all of which as you can imagine girls actively partake in.
Still massively addicted to trying to get my 1RM's up, powerlifting is addictive.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - britchard - 11-03-2015
I think that if you have a well-above-average physique, it will help with the chick's initial (primal) attraction to you, and helping you to seal the deal when you move to the groping/kissing phase.
Everything between those 2 points is down to your game and vibe. Yes, you may be able to do a few jokey things like arm wrestling etc for kino during this period, but those are just small bonuses.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - heavy - 11-03-2015
First, when I first saw Roosh's 10 step program, I couldn't figure out "1. Start a workout routine". For a guy who's all about the game, working out *as a first step especially* seemed a bit indirect.
Then one day almost two years ago I started working out and it made sense. There is a reason Roosh, a guy very much about external game (vs internal), would have working out as #1. Don't lump together working out with all the other indirect benefits like style, money, fame, social circle, fancy cars, etc. It's different. I now believe you can't peel away working out with game.
Secondly, if OP means physical attractiveness, then per PhDre's post, as men we think looking like you work out means bodybuilder. We think of it the way we look at chics, like it's all about being hot. Based on my experience, chics notice on a more subtle level than us. I had chics telling me I looked 'good' before I ever noticed it. Don't get me wrong, now I get laid because I'm ripped...sorta. And if this is OP's point, I agree to an extent. Weightlifting might not "get you laid" in all cases. Duh?!? Of course it won't. But it will help.
Third, and this I agree with...lift for yourself, not to get chics. I lifted for over a year before I started seeing tangible (ie pussy) benefits to working out. I did it to feel better about myself.
Fourth, there are plenty of guys who don't workout and get pussy no problem...either by approaching a lot or being really smooth. If you read this far, you probably aren't one of those guys. Go move some iron.
Rex, I'm surprised you would offer up this idea...unless we all misinterpreted your post. Perhaps you could offer more info as to why you think this way. I'd be curious.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - WanderingSoul - 11-03-2015
"(FYI I've been lifting weights for over two years.) "
This doesn't mean anything. A lot of people have been "lifting" for over two years and still look like pudgy boys.
I'm 5'10 and 191lbs, not six pack lean, but have a big chest and arms, and I get a lot of attention from my body. I also wear clothes that show it off.
When guys say their physique doesn't help them get laid I know it's because their physique isn't even noticeable.
Now, if you dress poorly, are naturally unattractive, and don't have solid game then yes, it won't be much help. So I agree it isn't the "panacea" for attraction problems, but it's definitely a big component.
But this has been debated over and over again on this forum. Guys who don't really lift will always try to justify it by saying stupid shit like "girls don't like bodybuilders!" and other weak arguments.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - LINUX - 11-03-2015
I disagree 100%.
I disagree because I've been 145 lbs with 6% bodyfat and I've been 220 lbs with 6% bodyfat.
Sitting at 210 now, I put up the same numbers in one month that I use to put up in a year and my game hasn't changed that much.
But it's much easier to convince yourself that true-game and attraction happens at a conversational level.... But it doesn't.
You can spend all night at the club talking to the cool-ass fat chick who is nice and funny and wears Parada and has a great job, but at the end of the night, she is still the fat chick. Same goes for the skinny girl with the anorexic problem, in her fancy dress. None of that matters when the hot Latina walks in with club with her long hair and fake silicone ass, when that happens all eyes go to the right and men scream " Gawd damn!" And the fat chick and the aneroxic start bickering, "Look at that whore."
The way women think about men aren't much different.
Getting jacked enough where it's noticeable takes years and years and constantly hitting the gym and eating food that taste like shit. If you believe it doesn't matter, you're only selling yourself short. Game is more biology based than people like to think.
At the end of the day a woman is going to want you if you make her friends jelous of her and you make her feel protected. Period. Conversation and the way you dress is the most overrated part of game.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - rudebwoy - 11-03-2015
I also disagree 100%.
This topic has been discussed before on two other threads I recall.
If you do not fill the need to workout, then good for you.
For me in this current dating world, I need every edge I can get.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Travesty - 11-03-2015
OP, do people ever call you 'big guy' as a nickname out of habit even acquaintances?
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Truth Teller - 11-03-2015
Totally disagree. Weightlifting is a very valuable thing.
Women are attracted to things like broad shoulders, large arms, or a large chest (which is different, at least in my opinion, from big pecs). Having significant abs doesn't hurt either. Unless you're among the naturally gifted in one of these things (I was blessed with broad shoulders due to my bone structure), you can't develop them without lifting.
On a more personal note, I started game when I was a very thin, weak guy. I remember having trouble benching the bar. I've been training regularly for roughly a year now (first bodyweight, now lifting). I've had more success in game in the last year than I did in the year prior.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - RIslander - 11-03-2015
In the Anglosphere a good percentage of young, single men lift weights so by lifting, you're just matching your competition. Very few women stay in shape, so you still end up with the uneven playing field.
Now in Asia, where the vast majority of young men do not lift, having a muscular physique makes you stand out significantly. Girls stare at, grab arms and give compliments to fit men.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Dusty - 11-03-2015
Disagree . It's not a panacea , but it's the best and quickest way a man can boost his attractiveness to women.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - blck - 11-03-2015
OP already have been convinced that lifting weights is the way to go but he didn't explain how intense his workout is and how many time a week he lift.
He may be unsatisfied with his routine because he doesn't get as much attention as he hoped to when he began.
What I personally want to know is what made a senior member open a thread about how lifting might be not that important.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - cascadecombo - 11-03-2015
Quote:Quote:
I believe the benefits, as far as attracting women, tend to be exaggerated
The benefits are not exaggerated at all. In fact depending on where you are it can be the sole reason a chick could single you out to begin conversation.
I can't remember how many times my size alone has garnished me extra or random attention. On top of just being a different size from others it also, among other things, changes your posture which puts images in their head before even getting close to you.
As others said too, two years can mean diddly if you're not going at it properly.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Moma - 11-03-2015
Every quarter, the same debates surface. They are:
1) Having a nice body has no impact in pulling lizards
2) Game has no impact on lizards.
3) White lizards loathe black guys.
These are cash cow topics.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - realologist - 11-03-2015
I never understand why people argue which part of game is more important. In the end it all combines so every single facet matters. They all work together to get you to get laid so why not maximize all of them.
Get your physique and diet on point so women are attracted to you on a more primal level.
Get your style right by getting well fitting and stylish clothes.
Get your logistics right with a cool spot near the hot location of the city.
Get your verbal game on point so you are smooth as hell.
Get your inner game solid and as unshakable as a mountain.
Get your body language and escalation game on point so you can flawlessly shift gears and push more and more towards sex.
Get your social circle on point where you can get access to tons of attractive females.
Even though they are all important the reason lifting weights and building your physique is first because you always have to reach the attractiveness threshold for women. If you don't then they won't fuck you. Pure and simple.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Captain Gh - 11-03-2015
OP if you put a diet Blueprint, I'm sure the Muscleheads around here would change your opinion!
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Mentavious - 11-03-2015
My beach game/no shirt game has gotten me laid at 225. That wasn't working when I was at 190.
That's all the proof I need.
And actually today, I had a girl re-engage me on whatsapp because I put up a shirtless pic. 1000% respectfully disagree
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - RexImperator - 11-03-2015
Quote:Quote:
OP, do people ever call you 'big guy' as a nickname out of habit even acquaintances?
Well, the trainers at my gym addressed me as "Big Rex*" last year after I got big/fat from bulking. Thankfully I've dropped weight and that was some 20 lbs ago.
Also, I'm not saying it has no effect, but the effect is more in terms of just feeling good about yourself. And anyway, to get "big" properly takes a really long time.
* but used my real first name, obviously
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Merenguero - 11-03-2015
Quote: (11-03-2015 07:52 PM)Mentavious Wrote:
My beach game/no shirt game has gotten me laid at 225. That wasn't working when I was at 190.
That's all the proof I need.
And actually today, I had a girl re-engage me on whatsapp because I put up a shirtless pic. 1000% respectfully disagree
I'll write a little more about beach game and this thread when I get to a computer, but I'm guessing that you're really tall and that at 190, you looked a little weak. The reason why I say that is there are a ton of 190 pound guys who could kill it with beach game, but most of them are under six feet, some way under.
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - Mentavious - 11-03-2015
^^^yup I'm 6'4"
Weightlifting is not a panacea for attraction problems - RexImperator - 11-04-2015
Quote:Quote:
he didn't explain how intense his workout is and how many time a week he lift.
Usually I'll do some variation/combination of compound lifts 3 times a week.
The last year was rather disappointing strength-wise, though, as I dropped 40 lbs of bodyweight (but recently regained 10).