The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Printable Version
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The 6 Phases of Being a Player - HankMoody - 10-17-2015
Your experience may vary. This was basically mine...
Phase 1: Women are a huge mystery, and all you know about them is that they don't like you sexually. They're a constant source of frustration. You think your life would be better if you just had a girlfriend, a pretty women who understands you. You're a hopeless romantic, believing that someday she'll descend from the heavens, and it will be like a romantic comedy movie, as long as you "just be yourself." Self described "players" are just assholes who trick women into sex. You're not like that - you're a guy who just wants to meet the right women and treat her right.
Phase 2: For whatever reason, you find game. Maybe a girl you like just dumped you, or maybe you've heard "let's just be friends" one too many times. It goes against all the advice anyone has ever given you. At first you reject this information as "sexist." Then you slowly start to realize all the stuff you've done in the past is wrong and counterproductive. Secretly, you still want to get married to a nice girl who "isn't like that." Still, it feels like this might be your saving grace. Maybe just try it out, and then you'll meet The One.
Phase 3: You start actually gaming. You setup an account on OkCupid and Tinder, even though it feels weird. At first, it's frustrating. You're getting rejected by 4s and 5s who can see right through the act. You might open up a set and then immediately revert back into a shy loser dorky kid trying to make stupid small talk. However, at least now you're going on dates and talking to women. The idea of not being in an exclusive relationship is still new and weird to you. You spend a lot of time thinking about "I wonder what I should text her back", thinking about what clever thing you can say to keep the interaction going. You are studying openers, text game, and posture. Your heart still flutters a little when your phone lights up. "God I hope she texted me. Maybe she's 'the one'." You're still hopeful about finding a nice girl who is "The One", settling down, and having a family.
Phase 4: You get your first bang from a girl who isn't horrible. She's not hot or anything, but she's not terrible. But you realize "Holy shit, this stuff works!" You feel like the greatest Casanova the world has ever seen. Suddenly game is your bible, and women are your validation. The world revolves around more bangs. You start getting serious about going to the gym and lifting weights. You read up every book on Game and watch every video on YouTube. You refine your online dating profiles to be more red pill. You're feeling good and have some swagger. It's hard to communicate with people who don't know what EOI, DHV, DLV, WB, or HB7 means. However, now you know why it's called "game" - because it's fun. You start giving your guy friends relationship advice.
Phase 5: You're getting bangs on the regular. Women are no longer a mystery. Your friends start to describe you as "cocky", "arrogant", "jerkboy", and "douchebag." You have a book of girls you can call on the regular, and you're confident you can go into most bars and at least get digits. After awhile, this gets to be boring, time consuming, and expensive. "Do I really want to sit and talk to this girl for an hour? She's hot and all, but I'm so bored of this conversation." However, you find that ladies just love hanging around you. Often you're the one saying "let's just be friends." You start to truly understand women, and often your refusal to commit creates drama. You learn just how easy it is to get in a woman's pants, and that your average woman could have more than 70 sex partners in a year. You know how the sausage is made, and it's not pretty. What's funny is the women know you're a narcissistic, arrogant jerk who has no intention of committing, and they like it. How the world has changed. A woman will come to your place after Joe Beta has just bought her a nice steak dinner. She "thinks he's nice, but there's just no spark there", she tells you just before giving you a blowie. While she's giving you head, you notice Joe Beta has just sent her a text saying "I had a great time tonight! Hope to see you again real soon!" You were that guy a year ago.
Phase 6: You start to get more interested in philosophy, weight lifting, and making money. You find that you ignore a lot of the texts women send you like "Can we hang out tonight?" or "Are you mad at me?". This true aloofness ironically has the affect of making women more into you. The women you used to chase now send you messages like "Where you have been? I bet you need a good blowjob!" You're not all that interested, because they all say the same shit, respond to the same things, and often their drama outweighs your need for physical affection. While you like the physical pleasure of bangs, you start to find that women are petty, boring, and vapid. You know that you could still pull poon on the regular, but it's so much effort with little return. In addition, banging enough women and reading game has left you jaded when it comes to the "fairer" sex, and you have serious reservations about the future of society. Chasing women is no longer a fun sport, but something that is more of a sad necessity. Most nights you would rather be playing video games and reading than spending your time with women, even if you know the result is going to be sex.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - void - 10-17-2015
What is Phase 7?
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - HankMoody - 10-17-2015
Quote: (10-17-2015 11:43 AM)void Wrote:
What is Phase 7?
Dunno yet. Haven't gotten there.
MGTOW? Become gay? :-P
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Cattle Rustler - 10-17-2015
This is the thread of the day.
I can fully attest to this. I'm between stage 5 and 6 at the moment. Bitches become time consuming and its starting to feel like a chore. I'm more happy being alone and not carrying the extra baggage even though she's the one trying to be part of my life.
I have become the orbit, not the orbiter.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Phoenix - 10-17-2015
Quote: (10-17-2015 11:43 AM)void Wrote:
What is Phase 7?
Phase 7: You have become a ripped, baller version of Aristotle. Women have become like clothes left on the floor of your sweet high-rise riverview apartment. Have I worn this one? Why is that one still lying there? Does this one need a wash? [sniff sniff]. You no longer have to text them, nor do they even interrupt you with their own texts. They now walk free-range in and out of your apartment, waiting patiently for the previous girl to finish whilst you lie on your Siberian tiger-skin rug nonchalantly pondering deep metaphysical questions and begrudgingly answering interview questions from a Forbes journalist.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - MikeS - 10-17-2015
Good post, although some phase overlapping or slightly different progression will probably be likely for many people. It certainly hasn't been that linear for me.
Personally I had to make the least amount of effort to get laid (mostly girls in the 5-6 range, with the occasional 7) during my late teens and up to my late 20s, even with zero conscious concept of game and being nowhere near "a natural". It was down to access and more natural socializing (parties, a willingness to get out and get drunk every weekend) than later in my life when I started working freelance from home (so no social life through work), previous social circles became hard - eventually impossible - to maintain, new friendships more difficult to develop and keep and clubbing something I can't stand more than a handful of times per year.
In terms of attitude and how I live my life I'm phase 5 and 6, but there haven't been more than few brief times in my life where I could just lean back and wait for the blowjob offers to come in from harem girls. I still usually have to make constant efforts to meet and keep girls, and still get nowhere with most of the girls I date, which means that usually I only have one girl - very occasionally two, sometimes none (hooker time!) - I'm banging, but I never fret about my ability to replace her if I get tired of her or she gets tired of me.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - WestIndianArchie - 10-17-2015
Quote: (10-17-2015 11:43 AM)void Wrote:
What is Phase 7?
The player turns away from self satisfaction and pleasure to something bigger and external.
The mystery of woman is no longer.
At this point, many men experience true sadness, and find themselves trying to get the magic back by doing the same things, but harder.
After laughter there are tears.
Legacy building is what comes next. Man becomes immortal though his work.
Depending on how the player got his notches, mastery of self or mastery of others, he uses those skills for a much larger endeavor.
Perhaps it's something as simple as having a family.
Building a business with actual employees that depend on him to feed their own families.
Teaching the Gospel. Be it in person or by writing
Oftentimes its politics or building a movement.
But choices are made. Doing any of these well usually means the others will suffer
I've been here five years, in the game for at least 15.
This is my 5,000th post
I'd actually been holding off on writing it, cause the engineer in me, long dead, still loves numbers.
Can't fixate on that anymore, too much work needs to be done, and there's never enough time.
WIA
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - _GQ_ - 10-17-2015
Phase 7:
Victory; you've found what you were looking for all along.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - HankMoody - 10-17-2015
This is the thing...
I haven't opened up an online dating app in almost a year. I have enough women in my rotation, and if I wanted to add more, I'd just go out to a bar and start talking to them (though I'd go back to online dating if I didn't live in a city). The idea of going out on a "date" with a woman for a chance at getting laid sounds boring and like a waste of money.
The sad thing is there are some real decent girls in my rotation who would love it if I'd commit and get more "into" the relationship. They think I'm going to come around if they just throw enough sex at me, clean my house enough, and do enough stuff for me. I feel bad about this, but women actually become like beta men. They think that if they just do enough to please you enough, you'll come around and fall in love with them.
I just don't see the point. Women are a depreciating asset and an expendable, easily replaced commodity. The prize for winning the pie eating contest is more pie. I'm not really keen on the idea of giving someone half my house, my assets, and a complete commitment. It's nothing personal.
What's funny is they all leave for a hot minute when they realize I'm serious about not wanting to get married, have kids, and buy a suburban home. Then they date a beta guy who is into that, because he's got no game or other options. About a year later after breaking the beta's heart, they're hitting me up again.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - TheDuncan - 10-17-2015
I am at phase 4 with qualities of 5 and 6.
My main problem is letting go, I sometimes revert back to that "play it safe, dont offend" type personality and get funny when there is a girl I really like.
Funny thing is that when I am drunk I become this confident asshole that does not give a fuck, completly different side of me.
If I can just learn to bring that side to the surface without having to get drunk....
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - TheDuncan - 10-17-2015
Quote: (10-17-2015 01:23 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
Quote: (10-17-2015 11:43 AM)void Wrote:
What is Phase 7?
The player turns away from self satisfaction and pleasure to something bigger and external.
The mystery of woman is no longer.
At this point, many men experience true sadness, and find themselves trying to get the magic back by doing the same things, but harder.
After laughter there are tears.
Legacy building is what comes next. Man becomes immortal though his work.
Depending on how the player got his notches, mastery of self or mastery of others, he uses those skills for a much larger endeavor.
Perhaps it's something as simple as having a family.
Building a business with actual employees that depend on him to feed their own families.
Teaching the Gospel. Be it in person or by writing
Oftentimes its politics or building a movement.
But choices are made. Doing any of these well usually means the others will suffer
I've been here five years, in the game for at least 15.
This is my 5,000th post
I'd actually been holding off on writing it, cause the engineer in me, long dead, still loves numbers.
Can't fixate on that anymore, too much work needs to be done, and there's never enough time.
WIA
Cool post man, I am not yet over the allure of women and still have some ways to go but I know eventually that women will be the least of my worries, there are much more important things in a mans life, I wish all men could come to realize this, I mean I love women but I want something more from my life, something to really live for, something bigger than me.
For now Im focused on chasing that pussy though?
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Gmac - 10-17-2015
WIA, the wisdom in your posts never ceases to amaze me. This is the dilemma I'm beginning to face myself.
For men, we understand that there is no happy ending or happily ever after.
You can't believe in fairy tales and call yourself a man, in fact recognizing your own imperfection and accepting your own mortality is part of becoming a man.
You live, you work, you try to enjoy life, you try to make your mark on your world before you leave it.
That legacy might be a project, a movement, an influence on others, or your children.
We instinctively want to pass something along, make a difference, and feel as though we did achieved something lasting on this earth.
The women in your life will either be a part of that journey or barely a blip on the radar.
The rest is up to you.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - OregonToSoCal - 10-17-2015
Very insightful post and one that I can certainly relate to. I've hit (or at least briefly touched on) all six phases and am currently in phase 6. My journey into red pill game began almost four years ago after coming out of an 8 year marriage. I was the epitome of the beta nice guy and can still remember the sense of sheer giddiness about being free to really go after the kind of woman that I wanted and hopefully have the "perfect relationship" this time around. I made every mistake imaginable, got my heart broken over and over (I still shake my head at how much a sucker I was in the early game days) but slowly things started to click for me and I could see the patterns of how women behave.
That was back in late 2011 and now fast forward to today. Up until a few months back, game, dating and working on notches effectively became my second full time job. I was able to record a little over 100 notches in the last four years ranging from wildebeests to women my formerly weak beta self never dreamed I could land. But then beginning late last year, game fatigue began to set in. I started really dreading going out, acting interested in someone's life, telling "my story" over and over and doing what needed to be done in order to get the notch. I still loved sex and new pussy but the benefits were outweighing the negatives by a slimmer margin. Women were no longer the beautiful mystery I used to think they were. The best way to describe it is the feeling I got when I learned that there really isn't a Santa Claus. I was guilty of having the rom com fantasy but realized that women were never going to be a source of happiness for me. Still, I long for that feeling of hope and endless possibilities I had four short years ago but I know that's gone for good but still I soldiered on.
Finally a few months back I was on my best pussy run of the year. In the course of a month I had landed three women who to me were 8's and higher. The sex was great, they seemed into me but all I could think about after having sex was "when are they going to leave?" I knew right then and there that I needed an extended break to revaluate. I originally thought I would be good to go in 2-4 weeks but I'm now almost two months into my hiatus and the thought of going on another date or chatting up some vapid she-drone is about as appealing as going to the dentist. I still get horny, I still love sex but the pleasure of it is fleeting compared to all of the soul sucking work and drama that goes into dealing with these women. They literally add zero value to my life.
So to use a completely gay term, I've been enjoying extensive "me time"
![[Image: tard.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/tard.gif)
I'm back on a healthy eating plan, I'm hitting the gym hard every other day, getting lots of sleep, reading, spending time with my family and enjoying all the football I can handle. And you know what? I've never felt more happy and content in my adult life. It's truly liberating to know that other than showing up for work I don't have to be anywhere at a certain time to meet up with anyone. I have nothing to prove to anyone and especially to myself. I know game will always be there for me if and when I choose to get back out there. But for now I'm good.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - CleanSlate - 10-17-2015
Good post by the OP but my own evolution was slightly different, with a lot of two steps forward, one step back, one step forward, two steps back, etc. After being stuck in phase 1 as a fairy-tale blue pill beta for so long, I discovered game through Ross Jeffries and had my "holy shit! this works!" moment almost immediately. Over the next several years, I cycled between phases 2, 3, and 4. I couldn't manage to string more than 2 months together being firmly in Phase 5, as I always regressed into the phase 2-3-4 cycle until I got married, and throughout my marriage.
Now I'm in phases 5-6, but I've been wanting to spend more time in Phase 5 as I don't think I've gotten my fill yet. At the same time, I keep thinking "what's next?" in my life. I'm still a long ways from phase 7, but I still can't help but think about it. I have some ideas though, just floating in my head.
For example, if I don't have kids by late 40s, I'll build a school for deaf children in a third world country or wherever deaf education is sorely needed. I think that is definitely an area where I can leave a meaningful legacy that I'd be proud of when I draw my last breath.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Mujeriego - 10-17-2015
Player burn-out happens. I'll take a few months away from the game, but I always end up coming back. I've seen guys call it and hang up the gloves because the lifestyle isn't for them. In the end it's the disposition of a man that will determine the longevity of his time as a player.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - birthday cat - 10-17-2015
Quote: (10-17-2015 01:23 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
Quote: (10-17-2015 11:43 AM)void Wrote:
What is Phase 7?
The player turns away from self satisfaction and pleasure to something bigger and external.
The mystery of woman is no longer.
At this point, many men experience true sadness, and find themselves trying to get the magic back by doing the same things, but harder.
After laughter there are tears.
Legacy building is what comes next. Man becomes immortal though his work.
Depending on how the player got his notches, mastery of self or mastery of others, he uses those skills for a much larger endeavor.
Perhaps it's something as simple as having a family.
Building a business with actual employees that depend on him to feed their own families.
Teaching the Gospel. Be it in person or by writing
Oftentimes its politics or building a movement.
But choices are made. Doing any of these well usually means the others will suffer
I've been here five years, in the game for at least 15.
This is my 5,000th post
I'd actually been holding off on writing it, cause the engineer in me, long dead, still loves numbers.
Can't fixate on that anymore, too much work needs to be done, and there's never enough time.
WIA
^ 5000 posts from one of the best writers on the forum in the entire manosphere. Thanks WIA.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - rpg - 10-17-2015
You find no pussy in and of itself is worth a commitment.
There must be charm, sweetness and loyalty. Even more rare than a hot woman sad to say.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Artist - 10-18-2015
Great post, Through this staging i consider myself to be on scale 5 and i'm quite sure i'm not interested in passing to the next level, it just seems too plain and depressing.
If i could add something, i would say that because of the gold digger/money craving attitude of most women nowadays, being a somehow financially rich man helps a lot for burning through the stages. Girls would tend to come very easily, stick around and put up with every kind of demeanor there can be, just for the sake of being around money, although realising that they ain't gonna get any of it, nor what it provides. High status gets them soaking wet, and that's what you should be focusing on gentlemen.
Success is like a CT scan for women, it makes you see right through the soul of these naturally relentless dramatic lizards, and teaches you not to invest your emotions, nor your time in their childish behaviour.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Truth Teller - 10-18-2015
Kind of between 4 and 5. Still a pretty damn good job, considering where I was last year.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - The Black Knight - 10-18-2015
I am in WIA's Phase 7 (amazing post by the way!)
I am often times thinking about building towards something big. How to have a real impact on my community. Choosing the right woman AND the right environment to have a family in. How to really blow up a business. How to get elected to a political office. But its not just thoughts; I actually possess a vision now, from beginning to end, where I can see these things play out in reality.
Lately, I have found myself tired with a lot of folks defeatism and "cannot" attitude. I use to say to myself, "Well, I'll just wait til someone else makes the change I want." I accept now that if I want to see the change I want, I'll do it my damn well self or find people to help me do it. To explain the mentality a different way:
When there is some bullshit city ordinance I want change, I think now: "I should go get elected and replace those fuckers!" Not, "I'll just take it in the ass and hopefully it will change down the line."
When I see something missing from my city, I think now: "How do I make XYZ thing possible here?" Not, "Oh well, maybe some dude will do it."
Obviously, I cannot do it all but you get the the point.
Perhaps the endgame of the red pill transformation is to become a leader in some capacity. Be it with women, your community, a business, or just yourself.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - cascadecombo - 10-18-2015
Its funny, at the start guys are quick to reply and try to set up plans. Then after a while, a ping gets sent out on a rare instance of having nothing better to do, only to find something to do shortly after and ignore whatever replies came. Younger me wouldn't have been abke to fathom that.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - Rawmeo - 10-18-2015
I'd say I'm in Phase 4 now. Very nice writeup.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - realologist - 10-18-2015
Phase 7:
Everytime you make extended eye contact with a woman this happens.
![[Image: clothes-fly-off.gif]](http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/clothes-fly-off.gif)
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - General Mayhem - 10-18-2015
Let's Simplify this.
In phases 1-5 women are the center of your universe.
In phase 6 you finally realize that women alone are not enough to base your life on.
What now?
I think that the reason players become jaded after a while in the game is because they came in with the wrong expectations.
In the beginning you set out to achieve mastery over what you think are funny, intelligent, and interesting creatures. Then in your quest for mastery you realize that women are seldom funny, never intelligent, and hardly interesting.
Women aren't what you thought they were.
You have to reframe it.
She isn't funny but she can cook.
She isn't smart but she can clean.
She isn't interesting but she takes good care of me.
Everyone likes fucking sluts, but the ultimate purpose of a women is to take care of the home and to bear children. If you aren't enjoying some of that you aren't getting the full experience of what a woman has to offer.
When you get to a certain point women will throw this shit at you to try to lock you down like the OP mentioned. That's where you have to weed out the pretenders.
Beware of a woman who thinks that making you brownies from a box or throwing together a pizza constitutes cooking.
Maybe if I was shit rich and had a bunch of servants I would be singing a different tune.
The 6 Phases of Being a Player - UroboricForms - 10-18-2015
It must be possible to exist between stages or two at once. And regress from a higher to lower stage when, like I am, you're still learning. This has been my experience anyway.