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Flake aversion techniques - Vienna - 03-23-2015

Being flaked on sucks, but women are a dime a dozen and they do things for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they flake out for legit reasons but a lot of the time it's not legit and they could be shit testing you. If you are flaked on, never get angry... It will only hurt you. Another thing I have noticed is that if they ask to reschdule, it's likely not a shit test but something actually came up. I've only been flaked on 3 times, but below are my 2 favorite texts I send to a girl 3 days after being flaked on if I haven't heard back from them..

"I love that super cute thing you do where you don't text me back for hours. Gah. Adorable" -roissy
What I like about this, is that it is playful and it makes you look like you have had other stuff going on. Remember I waited 3 days to text this, not hours. I've used it twice and have a 100% success rate for getting a response.. But it might come 1-2 days later then game on.

"We should hang out soon, I'm starting to forget what you look like". I forgot where I saw it but it's great because it makes her feel like she had you but is losing you. If she's interested, you will definitely get a response.

Always remember: "Girls are like buses. Miss one, Next 15 one coming" -Gucci Mane .. So if they flake, you can always next them and let them contact you. But if you want to be a little more aggressive or just say fuck it, be calm/cool when reopening.

What are your techniques?

Flake aversion techniques - philosophical_recovery - 03-23-2015

a) Become famous
b) work on game enough that you have enough options to not care about a flake

Flake aversion techniques - Biologist - 03-24-2015

It's all about your value relative to hers.

If she perceives that your value is low relative to hers, she will know that if she flakes on you, it won't be a big deal for her. Game can only do so much.

If you were unemployed and desperate for a job, and somebody suddenly called you in for a job interview, I doubt that you would dare to flake on that appointment. However, if you were already employed and happy with your job, and suddenly somebody called you to attend an interview for a job which wasn't as good as your current job, there would be little incentive for you to attend. Sure, you might attend that job interview for the sake of curiosity, but it wouldn't be a big deal for you if you missed it.

Therefore, the only thing you can do is improve every aspect of yourself as much as you can in order to maximise your value - money, career, education, network, fame, physical attractiveness, looks etc.

Flake aversion techniques - Vienna - 03-24-2015

Quote: (03-23-2015 08:15 PM)-g- Wrote:  

I've only been flaked on 3 times, but below are my 2 favorite texts I send to a girl 3 days after being flaked on if I haven't heard back from them..

"I love that super cute thing you do where you don't text me back for hours. Gah. Adorable" -roissy
What I like about this, is that it is playful and it makes you look like you have had other stuff going on. Remember I waited 3 days to text this, not hours. I've used it twice and have a 100% success rate for getting a response.. But it might come 1-2 days later then game on.

"We should hang out soon, I'm starting to forget what you look like". I forgot where I saw it but it's great because it makes her feel like she had you but is losing you. If she's interested, you will definitely get a response.

Interesting you've had success with the first line ("I love that super cute..."). I believe Heartiste wrote a post on it to caution men against sending texts like that, because it reeks passive aggressiveness... which is a woman's game. Have you had actual dates result from it?

I like the second line, might try it out on a wishy washy girl later this week.

If a girl flakes and doesn't suggest a reschedule, I delete the number and next her. She might contact me out of the blue but I think twice about trying again.

Flake aversion techniques - Dalaran1991 - 03-24-2015

OP, what do you mean you had "success" with those lines? Did using them get you another date with the girl? Otherwise getting a girl to text you back is no cause for celebration. Girls can be extremely nice in texts.

Flaking is just a reality of game nowadays. I used to believe the whole SMV thing, but it only reduces flake, not eliminate it. My mentor who has fuck high SMV (both tangible and intangible) got flaked on by plain Janes all the time and I never understood why. Girls flake for all kind of different reasons.

You want the best flake aversion? Don't try to set up date in the first place. Shoot for instant date and SNL whenever possible.

Flake aversion techniques - YoungAngel1 - 03-24-2015

I'm not sure if it is possible to avoid it. Prrtty much every single girl I've dated has flaked on me at some point. My problem is when they text me when I'm on the way to the venue and they talk about how they can't make it at the last minute. That shit gets my blood boiling.

Maybe the best way to avoid it is to date high quality, older, educated women(master degrees, doctors, lawyers, Etc ). They seem the least likely to flake.

If you're dating girls 25 and under, then you're pretty much guaranteed a flake. Just brace for it.

Flake aversion techniques - DarkTriad - 03-24-2015

Quote: (03-24-2015 08:09 AM)YoungAngel1 Wrote:  

I'm not sure if it is possible to avoid it. Prrtty much every single girl I've dated has flaked on me at some point. My problem is when they text me when I'm on the way to the venue and they talk about how they can't make it at the last minute. That shit gets my blood boiling.

Maybe the best way to avoid it is to date high quality, older, educated women(master degrees, doctors, lawyers, Etc ). They seem the least likely to flake.

If you're dating girls 25 and under, then you're pretty much guaranteed a flake. Just brace for it.

So you're saying date lower quality women with more mileage so they're less likely to flake on you? Makes sense, they're no longer being inundated with offers, they have to take what they can get.

Flake aversion techniques - DarkTriad - 03-24-2015

Quote: (03-23-2015 08:15 PM)-g- Wrote:  

Being flaked on sucks, but women are a dime a dozen and they do things for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they flake out for legit reasons but a lot of the time it's not legit and they could be shit testing you. If you are flaked on, never get angry... It will only hurt you. Another thing I have noticed is that if they ask to reschdule, it's likely not a shit test but something actually came up. I've only been flaked on 3 times, but below are my 2 favorite texts I send to a girl 3 days after being flaked on if I haven't heard back from them..

"I love that super cute thing you do where you don't text me back for hours. Gah. Adorable" -roissy
What I like about this, is that it is playful and it makes you look like you have had other stuff going on. Remember I waited 3 days to text this, not hours. I've used it twice and have a 100% success rate for getting a response.. But it might come 1-2 days later then game on.

"We should hang out soon, I'm starting to forget what you look like". I forgot where I saw it but it's great because it makes her feel like she had you but is losing you. If she's interested, you will definitely get a response.

Always remember: "Girls are like buses. Miss one, Next 15 one coming" -Gucci Mane .. So if they flake, you can always next them and let them contact you. But if you want to be a little more aggressive or just say fuck it, be calm/cool when reopening.

What are your techniques?

I love the thread concept, but "I've only been flaked on three times" would only make sense for a teenager playing a lot of social circle game. I've been flaked on twice in one DAY (luckily, the third one came through). And if you've only legitimately been flaked on 3 times, how do you get 2 "favorite" responses? How could someone with so little flake experience even give useful advice? You've used one text once and the other twice, what kind of statistical sample is that?

Flake aversion techniques - Vincent Chase - 03-24-2015

The only way to avoid flaking is not to be part of the game. It is part and parcel of it there is no way to avoid it.

The way to reduce it is to show higher perceived value. Also not setting up dates too far in the future (RSD Jeffy for example only sets dates for the same night - to reduce chances of flaking, he and other pickup guys has no doubt been burnt hundreds of times by it).

I do believe and based on my experience it is true that the younger the girl the more likelihood is of a flake. The younger generations have increasingly the attention spans of ants, see all those attention seekers on shite like Snapchat seeking their fix of validation from hungry guys and then completely forgetting about them like they don't exist. Flaking rates will only go up with more social media usage.

These bottom of the barrel attention seekers have the thought that whatever happens they can get 100 guys online just like that and become increasingly fussy like the world is their oyster, even for the 6s.

For the cock carousel riders it is truly the era of the disposable male.

Then they start losing their looks and reality hits them.

Flake aversion techniques - heavy - 03-24-2015

Don't plan on women who will flake on you. ??? That's how I roll anyway.

To reiterate what Vincent Chase said, you only lose the game when you play the game. Don't play her game. If you have to plan for drinks with her, she better be all on board (per signs...texts, talking, body language, etc).

If you're going for a girl you might want to date LTR, it's slightly different, but not much. You're still living your life for yourself, and she can be a part of it if she wants.

Maybe this is something I'm somewhat naturally skilled at, but I've never been "flaked on" by a woman for whom I actually planned.

I guess it's tough to put into words. A lot of flaking is exacerbated/diminished based on your face-to-face interaction to begin with.

Flake aversion techniques - philosophical_recovery - 03-24-2015

Now, it seems, if a girl is going to flake, she won't even bother texting back.

However, for the first meeting, arrange a venue where you can hit on other girls and/or do something else and not care if she doesn't show up. I like to work at a coffee shop. Sometimes an hour before they are supposed to show. I warm up by talking to staff and random people around me. And, I generally forget about the potential date, because I'm working on a self improvement goal.

If they show up, I offer them a $3 drink of coffee, slowly disengage from my work, maybe showing them something, then progress from chatter to walking around town. Sometimes I challenge them to physical activity or a movie at my place, the whole time I escalate contact but I do not kiss them. When they're at my place, I tease then pounce, sometimes lifting them up and throwing them on the bed.

I've got several single date lays this way, and a lot of it is attitude. But, this cannot happen from a lackluster texter. That alone screens 75% of girls. Having a plan and expecting a flake puts you in a better mindset to escalate when a girl is attracted enough to show up.

Flake aversion techniques - GlockTrigga - 03-24-2015

If you want to date younger Women flaking is inevitable and unavoidable.

If you can find a foreign woman your age (and you're 25 or over) then there will be less flaking and more humility in my experience.

Flake aversion techniques - Iso - 03-24-2015

My best technique: Schedule a date at a place that is 5 minutes walking distance from you. Get ready like you would normally do on a date. Then stay at your place doing whatever you were doing before. When she texts you that she arrived at the date, text her back that you will be there in 5 minutes. Then you leave the house go on your date. Guaranteed way not to be disappointed.

Flake aversion techniques - DonnyGately - 03-24-2015

Quote: (03-24-2015 02:07 PM)GlockTrigga Wrote:  

If you want to date younger Women flaking is inevitable and unavoidable.

Yep. Even from girls who really like you.

The best thing I've come up with is to try to keep a strong frame at all times, and keep leading no matter the interaction. No magic bullets.

Flake aversion techniques - DarkTriad - 03-24-2015

When I feel things are going south, I sometimes use a pre-emptive flake to put myself back in the driver's seat. You send a message with a really lame excuse for cancelling. Even if she was planning to not show up herself, that stings and will get her attention.

Flake aversion techniques - DarkTriad - 03-24-2015

A couple of warning signs like equivocating language -

"Where do I pick you up?" "Oh, not sure where I'll be yet, I'll tell you later"

This means you're a back plan with a 2% success rate.

Any equivocating = "If you're not sure you can make it, let's reschedule for another time".

Not really a recovery technique, but it sorts out time wasters.

Any other practical tips out there?

Flake aversion techniques - General Stalin - 03-25-2015

I go with the mindset of expecting the flake typically, so for the most part I do my damn best to plan dates that are close to 0% inconvenience for me. I try to get girls to meet me at my place so there is no investment on my part.

In the event that they want to meet somewhere else(public), I make sure to plan it somewhere that is not too out of the way and I would be perfectly comfortable going their alone regardless. Even still, due to my increasing intolerance for difficult/flaky women, half the time if hey don't want to come to my place I just next them.

EDIT: Of course there are exceptions like if the girl doesn't have a car or something like that which I have gone out of my way for and it proved worth it - especially if you're dating 18/19 year old girls

Flake aversion techniques - Vincent Chase - 03-25-2015

Inviting them straight to your house even on first date is the strategy for the real experienced players. Most girls will say no but ones who do have very good chances of it being on, even from online. I flaked on a girl today myself just for logistical reasons.

I live in a big city and I have wasted too much time and money meeting girls in a location between her and me. Women want to feel like things just happened naturally. A location 20 minutes between your place and hers is a 99% lose right there based on logistics. I've still managed to get back to some girls' places in those type of events but it is very difficult, your odds are stacked against it.

The RSD guys such as Todd and Jeffy also avoid the inconvenience and meet girls close to their place and either walk there or drive 5 minutes or so. If they get flaked on they have multiple backup options.

Screening for logistics is key before the date. If she doesn't want to meet at your place or nearby but near hers or in between then I also choose to stop wasting my time.

Flake aversion techniques - robreke - 03-25-2015

Quote: (03-24-2015 05:49 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

When I feel things are going south, I sometimes use a pre-emptive flake to put myself back in the driver's seat. You send a message with a really lame excuse for cancelling. Even if she was planning to not show up herself, that stings and will get her attention.

When I do receive a "flake text" with their lame ass reason for not showing, I've been successful with responding something like:

"oh I wasn't going to be able to make it anyway"

I've had a few of them immediately counter offer with something like:
"I'm free tomorrow though!"

Rinse repeat.

I guess it frustrates their hamster that you seemingly weren't putting much thought into your date (which they're flaking on) by responding in such a non chalant almost "oh I almost forgot" manner.

I've also had success with "k"

Flake aversion techniques - DarkTriad - 03-25-2015

I like it Robreke! I wonder if you could tweak that into a "Was that supposed to be tonight?" for stronger effect.

Flake aversion techniques - YossariansRight - 03-25-2015

Quote: (03-24-2015 05:54 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

A couple of warning signs like equivocating language -

"Where do I pick you up?" "Oh, not sure where I'll be yet, I'll tell you later"

This means you're a back plan with a 2% success rate.

Any equivocating = "If you're not sure you can make it, let's reschedule for another time".

Not really a recovery technique, but it sorts out time wasters.

Any other practical tips out there?

I have a friend that sends emoji icons as his response to flakes.

I don't bother replying to flakes. I just delete the number. I ignore any retries on their part. I used to text this as a reply to retries: "Been busy. No prob.", but I decided douches aren't worth even 4 words. My "GFY" is said through my silence, through my eliminating them from my existence. Flake = gone.

Like I wrote over on "Roosh V" earlier today: I find myself losing interest more and more rapidly...it's a combo of me becoming less and less tolerant of them and them getting worse. Flaking being a huge part of them getting worse.

Bottom line is, if she's interested in you, she won't flake. Flaking occurs because she got a "better" offer or has other options. That's why having a rotation of women is critical; you don't need the flaking douches.

Flake aversion techniques - BlurredSevens - 03-25-2015

I line up each day of the week with a different girl. A combination of first, second, third, etc., dates.

Inevitably, 2 or 3 or 4 of the girls will cancel, flake, reschedule, etc. But the result is that I don't really give a shit, because I've got another girl lined up the next night! And so I can try again.

Last night AND tonight different girls cancelled on me. Last night was supposed to be a first date, tonight was supposed to be a 5th date.

So what did I do instead? I lifted weights then made some homemade beef chili and crushed a few beers.

Life goes on, and tomorrow and the day after and the day after I've got other dates lined up!

This is probably not the answer you were looking for, but it's how I deal with it.

The side affect of this, of course, is that I don't put too much stock into one individual girl, and I think they can sense this. The result is that I'm less needy and therefore they are less likely to flake in the first place.

Flake aversion techniques - RDF - 03-26-2015

^ Blurred, I've been meaning to ask, with girls on Tinder, have you noticed a correlation between the time you're taking to build comfort and the number of flakes you're getting? Early on over Tinder, I'd spend up to 4-5 weeks talking to a girl before we meet up; I wasn't texting her 30 times a day, but several basic texts and often some Snapchat. Not a single one of those girls flaked. Now, I'm doing more of a quicker game when I'm pushing for the meet-up 2-3 days after we start talking/exchange numbers (mainly due to advice I read on the Tinder thread), and I feel like my flake rate has become ridiculous over the past month. It makes me think that the best way to reduce flakes is to build more comfort over time, hence making you a higher priority in her mind. However, that obviously takes more effort, so its questionable whether the extra effort is worth the reduced flaking. Have you noticed this?

Flake aversion techniques - General Stalin - 03-26-2015

Quote: (03-26-2015 08:14 AM)RDF Wrote:  

^ Blurred, I've been meaning to ask, with girls on Tinder, have you noticed a correlation between the time you're taking to build comfort and the number of flakes you're getting? Early on over Tinder, I'd spend up to 4-5 weeks talking to a girl before we meet up; I wasn't texting her 30 times a day, but several basic texts and often some Snapchat. Not a single one of those girls flaked. Now, I'm doing more of a quicker game when I'm pushing for the meet-up 2-3 days after we start talking/exchange numbers (mainly due to advice I read on the Tinder thread), and I feel like my flake rate has become ridiculous over the past month. It makes me think that the best way to reduce flakes is to build more comfort over time, hence making you a higher priority in her mind. However, that obviously takes more effort, so its questionable whether the extra effort is worth the reduced flaking. Have you noticed this?

Obviously there is some truth to that. The more comfort you build with a girl the more history and familiarity you have with her so you are less like a "stranger" when you go to meet. It really all depends on your end game and how much effort and time you are willing to put in based on your return.

Are you looking to get a girlfriend, rail and bail on some randos, or somewhere inbetween? If you are looking to get quick sex then marinating a girl for weeks on end via text and snapchat is a long damn time, and you run the risk of coming off as a chump as opposed to an aloof sex-machine with a busy life and other girls lined up. This also has a lot to do with the types of girls you're going after too.

Flake aversion techniques - RDF - 03-26-2015

Quote: (03-26-2015 09:34 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Obviously there is some truth to that. The more comfort you build with a girl the more history and familiarity you have with her so you are less like a "stranger" when you go to meet. It really all depends on your end game and how much effort and time you are willing to put in based on your return.

Are you looking to get a girlfriend, rail and bail on some randos, or somewhere inbetween? If you are looking to get quick sex then marinating a girl for weeks on end via text and snapchat is a long damn time, and you run the risk of coming off as a chump as opposed to an aloof sex-machine with a busy life and other girls lined up. This also has a lot to do with the types of girls you're going after too.

Very good point - that's what it comes down to. For me its somewhere in between - I'm always going for sex on the first date, and if the girl has many positive traits (sexy body, good personality, etc) and we actually had a very good time together, she'd be somebody who I'd want to keep fucking on a semi-regular basis and maybe do some cool shit with. If not, +1, and that's it. I'm definitely not looking to get a girlfriend or any sort of commitment. To your point, two of the girls who I marinated on for several weeks ended up wanting a relationship after our second hangout, which I'm thinking occurred partially because I gave out the "potential boyfriend" card in the texting.

Then again, I wouldn't say that I'm putting in extraordinary effort into maintenance texts. We will maybe have 4-5 exchanges in total per day, and I almost never text before the afternoon or anytime after 10pm. I'm not serenading these girls all day. I guess I'm more so frustrated by flakes and can't really decide which route to take. It also does depend on the vibe I'm getting from the girl; if she actually seems down to come right over and drink, no point in building too much comfort. There's just a wide variety of girls on Tinder so no one strategy seems to be perfect.