"I need $135k of white privilege" - Printable Version

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"I need $135k of white privilege" - cedarpawn - 08-06-2014

Black female hamster at work: http://www.gofundme.com/baozzc

Quote:Quote:

Hello Everyone!

I am writing you today to ask that you assist me in acquiring some white privilege. Although I have layered oppressions that have affected my ability to access my slice of the American Pie™, no issue has affected me more readily than my lack of white privilege. From being assumed to have "cheated" my way into programs for gifted children AND college (via affirmative action), to having my natural hair viewed as unprofessional amongst professional peers (ED Read: Lazy bedhead), to having people make negative assumptions about my competency level, interests, and job knowledge, to being viewed as naturally dangerous or threatening, my lack of white privilege has created numerous obstacles as I've struggled to successfully compete in a white dominated workforce. I am hoping that, through this campaign, I will begin to make some headway towards closing the gap that white privilege has created in my life.

In return for paying for my white privilege, I would love to give you some "black privilege" in return! Yes, it is difficult being a black person but there are some neat perks, as you will discover if you donate!

((For those of you interested to know how I came up with a dollar amount for white privilege the answer is less complex than you might think. As someone who has historically been classified by the United States government as a Black/African American woman, I've been earning anywhere from 63-69% of what a white man makes for the same work since I entered the workforce in 1999. Even if I control for part-time work as a teenager and consider increases in pay as I grew older/more experienced and changed my field, that still averages out to about a $9000 deficit for each year I've been employed. Multiply that by 15 years of hustle and you have my total.))

It gets better:

Quote:Quote:

BE MY FRIEND!
$5
At this level, I agree to be the black friend you are referencing when you tell people "I'm not racist, I have a black friend!"
PROVE IT!
$15
Not only will I be your bud, I will also pose in a selfie with you that you may use to prove the existance of your black friend (must be local to NYC to redeem)
0 of 25 left
FACEBOOK FRIEND
$25
At this level, you get a black friend, a selfie AND we will both post our selfie as our Facebook profile pictures for a week to show everyone that we're besties
TALK LIKE ME!
$35
At this level, I will translate up to 5 words/phrases from AAVE (African American Vernacular English aka Ebonics) to White American English for you.
CONNECT WITH ME
$65
At this level, you may touch my hair without asking, enabling you to potentially absorb some of my magical afro powers.
3 of 7 left
GROOVE LIKE ME!
$75
I will make you a mixape of "urban music" which you have my permission to sing along to--even the part when they say "that word". You know which word I mean
15 of 25 left
EAT LIKE ME!
$100
At this level, I will provide you with a copy of my grandmother's collard greens recipe! When you cook it, you may also claim that yours is better than hers.
0 of 5 left
LIVE LIKE ME!
$200
At this level, I will dress like a cop and harass you on the street for what will seem like no reason. Earn some street cred amongst your friends! (NYC only)
2 of 2 left
WORLDSTAR!
$250
You will get the harassment described in the $200 level AND someone will record our encounter and post it on WorldStarHipHop.com. Be internet famous! (NYC only)
0 of 2 left

I would be laughing, that is, except that 331 betas and hamsters have paid this revolting moocher $5,670 of their "white privilege" in some sort of guilty tribute.

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"I need $135k of white privilege" - Mentavious - 08-06-2014

Why didn't I think of this?

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"I need $135k of white privilege" - BadgerHut - 08-06-2014

"At this level, I will provide you with a copy of my grandmother's collard greens recipe! When you cook it, you may also claim that yours is better than hers."

LOL!

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"I need $135k of white privilege" - Cattle Rustler - 08-06-2014

Dupe

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