Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Printable Version
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Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - agentaika - 06-20-2014
So I'm almost 40. When I meet a vapid nightclub girl with her ass out, my mind still goes into "pump-n-dump" mode. But as I've gotten older, I've been desiring girls with more substance — who I can have a genuine conversation with. I was talking with a friend about this, who reached this point before I did. He did tons of fucking in high school, and after college he began seeking monogamous, noncommittal relationships. And he's been doing fine.
What are your thoughts on this? Good or bad?
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - jtteop - 06-20-2014
Surely it's whatever works for you?
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Truth Teller - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 02:03 PM)agentaika Wrote:
So I'm almost 40. When I meet a vapid nightclub girl with her ass out, my mind still goes into "pump-n-dump" mode. But as I've gotten older, I've been desiring girls with more substance — who I can have a genuine conversation with. I was talking with a friend about this, who reached this point before I did. He did tons of fucking in high school, and after college he began seeking monogamous, noncommittal relationships. And he's been doing fine.
What are your thoughts on this? Good or bad?
I think it's really just having an evolution in taste. It's not necessarily bad, if that's what you want. I'm 22 years younger, and honestly, girls whom I wanted badly a year ago don't appeal to me now.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - The Beast1 - 06-20-2014
Taste bro taste. You just want someone you click with and can talk with. I met a really hot 8 who is pretty dumb, but we have great chemistry. She tries to formulate complex arguments and it's a dream to be able to clearly articulate what she's trying to say.
She told me once she hates how she comes off as stupid and appreciates me re-articulating her thoughts. Maybe find someone like that?
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - WestIndianArchie - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 02:03 PM)agentaika Wrote:
So I'm almost 40. When I meet a vapid nightclub girl with her ass out, my mind still goes into "pump-n-dump" mode. But as I've gotten older, I've been desiring girls with more substance — who I can have a genuine conversation with. I was talking with a friend about this, who reached this point before I did. He did tons of fucking in high school, and after college he began seeking monogamous, noncommittal relationships. And he's been doing fine.
What are your thoughts on this? Good or bad?
1) you don't really know how he's been doing
2) you've probably already dated plenty of chicks with educations and jobs that require intelligence
You're not looking for smarts, you're looking for a cute debate and debauchery partner that won't get mad when you press her on her shaky premises.
I don't think you're going to find it.
WIA
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Akula - 06-20-2014
IMO it's beta ))
I'm over 40 and I don't feel like this. I still want hot young ass. I have plenty of interesting conversations with my good buddies and that's enough. What Frenchie says about 'clicking' versus 'smarts' is totally true too.
The only reason to have a relationship and (gasp) get married is if you want to have kids IMO. Otherwise it makes zero sense to give up your optionality. So looking for some kind of 'life partner' or something seems totally crazy to me unless you really want to settle down and have kids. There's a reason they call it 'settling'.
Think of it this way: when you've got two screaming kids the last thing she'll have time to do it discuss Descartes or Heidegger with you. Sure you've got to be agreeable and on good terms (with you controlling the frame and keeping her in line) but that's it. That is not to say she's can be an idiot either, but trying to find someone on the same level as you isn't ideal as far as I'm concerned.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - runsonmagic - 06-20-2014
I'm considering doing a blog post about this.
People have different needs - sexual, intellectual, affection, intimacy, etc.
Often, we collapse needs - especially sex, intimacy, affection. If men want affection from a woman, they usually have to be related to her, or in a relationship with her - even non-sexual affection.
It sounds like for you intimacy and intellectual connection are your primary needs now.
At the end of the day, it's the same thing in all game:
1) Get clear on what you want and what your specific needs are
2) Qualify those in your life to surround yourself with relationships that fulfill those needs
And of course, figure out what the type of woman you want really wants, and make yourself that person.
You can still approach this in an "alpha" way if you qualify women based on their ability to fulfill your needs.
Imagine how the hamster would spin if you told a woman, "I'm sorry, your ass is fine, but you're not smart enough to possibility satisfy me."
Sometimes the desire for "smart" women comes from either mother issues, or an unfulfilled desire for masculine community. Try joining an intellectual male group, and seeing if that satisfies you.
Some people like to mix needs - fucking someone for their mind and values is a thing. "This person is really smart, and they picked me." It's not how I operate, but I get the desire. But get specific about what you want. What is it about smart women that attracts you?
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - agentaika - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 02:59 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
I don't think you're going to find it.
Maybe, maybe not. I'm open to opinions.
Quote: (06-20-2014 03:09 PM)Akula Wrote:
I'm over 40 and I don't feel like this. I still want hot young ass. I have plenty of interesting conversations with my good buddies and that's enough. What Frenchie says about 'clicking' versus 'smarts' is totally true too.
Talking about the dumb shit most hot girls are in to gives me a headache now. It doesn't seem worth the effort anymore. I have to become a character just to relate with them.
Quote:Quote:
The only reason to have a relationship and (gasp) get married is if you want to have kids IMO.
I don't ever want to get married or have kids, and I can't see myself letting any woman walk over me or take charge of my life. I think I'm looking for some stability. I just want to relax.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - AnonymousBosch - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 03:31 PM)agentaika Wrote:
Quote: (06-20-2014 02:59 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:
I don't think you're going to find it.
Maybe, maybe not. I'm open to opinions.
What is your IQ? Your likelihood of achieving this is based upon your intelligence. Know that intelligence has a related Communication Gap, and you can only have True and Genuine Communication with women within 15 IQ points of yourself, as they share your natural vocabulary and ability to comprehend abstract concepts specific to your level of thinking. At 30 points difference, you'll read as Insane to them, and they'll strike you as retarded.
If you are serious about going down this route, work out the population distribution of female intelligence within 15 points of your IQ level, and see if you're chasing unicorns. (For example, there are only 2222 women in my entire country who match my intelligence. How many of those are currently-dateable?)
If you're in the danger zone of around 130, the girls you can truly communicate with are going to be university-educated career drones with all the unpleasantness that requires, unless you can bag a 120+ independent thinker who understands discipline and goals.
Higher than that, simply do what I do, and 'perform' mundane intelligence to pass for normal and bang those girls. I pitch myself as a working-class 100, including the linguistic changes needed to read as genuine. 'Dumb' girls can still be fun to be around, especially as they tend to be more pleasant company. I just don't expect them to offer me intellectual stimulation, and then aren't disappointed when they don't.
I don't need to 'prove' my intelligence to them just to puff up my vanity or self-esteem - that arrogance is why university women are so unpleasant to be around. Displaying my intelligence has never gotten me laid, except with a unique subset of girl who overestimates her own, and even then, I have to hold it back.
Do the math and be realistic about what you can expect.
EDIT:
Also, higher female intelligence correlates with lower levels of Female Oxytocin, the bonding chemical, so more intelligent girls are more likely to problematic and full of issues - uninterested in children, career-focused, lousy girlfriends, sluttier-sexuality, higher notch count. If they're have a lot of dick, they're incapable of truly bonding with any men, including you.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - agentaika - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 03:29 PM)runsonmagic Wrote:
It sounds like for you intimacy and intellectual connection are your primary needs now.
This may sum it up.
Quote:Quote:
And of course, figure out what the type of woman you want really want, and make yourself that person.
The bit of alpha that's still left in me has some objections with this. I'd rather focus on what I want rather than what women want, and improve myself as I see fit. I'll continue to date, and if I find someone who connects with me on the level I desire I'll "settle down."
And I won't actively look for a "girlfriend." That's always a mistake.
Quote:Quote:
Imagine how the hamster would spin if you told a woman, "I'm sorry, your ass is fine, but you're not smart enough to possibility satisfy me."
![[Image: icon_lol.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/icon_lol.gif){kind=icon}
Quote:Quote:
Sometimes the desire for "smart" women comes from either mother issues, or an unfulfilled desire for masculine community. Try joining an intellectual male group, and seeing if that satisfies you.
Or why not a group made up mostly of women?
Quote:Quote:
What is it about smart women that attracts you?
They're not fucking stupid, and I can talk to them as myself and not as a character.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - xpatplayer - 06-20-2014
IDK if you'll find her or not but I do think that you're tastes are evolving. Last year, my dream-girl would have been a Southern sorority girl who was a bit daft yet graceful. Today, its a fitness chick with a tight body and without bulging muscles. Who knows what it will be next year?
My point is that its all about your taste and goals. What type of girl do you like and what do you want your relationship to be? Its all about you man, don't worry about everyone else's judgement. Remember - if you like fat 5s and fuck them without giving a shit of what everyone else thinks, you're alpha. Its all about mindset.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Travesty - 06-20-2014
Man "not stupid and I don't have to talk to them as a character" haha. Funny, that said:
I'd say beta and getting older. Women are supposed to be fun and give some emotional support.
Men are for deep conversations.
Chase the unicorn (sexy and truly intelligent 7+) or settle for an older 6.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - seawolf007 - 06-20-2014
I also have had these same thaughts recently, I've stopped night game as I've found the quality of women tends to be lower than the ones I meet in the day. I don't think intelligence is the world but perhaps sophistication is what I am seeking, I enjoy a women that is more able to appreciate other aspects of life . For example I have recently been seeing a law school student who is quite intelligent but loves to be led and appreciates literature , adrenaline induced activity, and always responds to my questions with her best answer. Perhaps these women are better able to identify the scam that feminism is while still existing in its reality. I think the key point is to not develop oneitis when you find a women that is cute and sophisticated but to seek more of her ilk and spin an ever increasing quality of "plates" defined by both their ability to please sexually as their ability to appreciate other aspects of life with you. As long as you remain the leader and she understands this completely . I would like to hear others opinions on this....
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - agentaika - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 04:34 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:
What is your IQ?
I think in the 120s.
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Know that intelligence has a related Communication Gap, and you can only have True and Genuine Communication with women within 15 IQ points of yourself, as they share your natural vocabulary and ability to comprehend abstract concepts specific to your level of thinking. At 30 points difference, you'll read as Insane to them, and they'll strike you as retarded.
Holy shit. This makes a lot of sense. Where can I read more about this?
Quote:Quote:
If you are serious about going down this route, work out the population distribution of female intelligence within 15 points of your IQ level, and see if you're chasing unicorns.
I know smart, beautiful women exist. I've met a couple. My dream woman would be someone like Marissa Meyer, the CEO of Yahoo. She's cute (about a 7), and she's a genius.
But at this point, I'd settle for a butterface with a nice ass who I can at least have a decent conversation with.
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If you're in the danger zone of around 130, the girls you can truly communicate with are going to be university-educated career drones with all the unpleasantness that requires, unless you can bag a 120+ independent thinker who understands discipline and goals.
True.
Quote:Quote:
Higher than that, simply do what I do, and 'perform' mundane intelligence to pass for normal and bang those girls.
I can do this, but it PAINS me.
These are my thoughts with most girls now...
Quote:Quote:
I pitch myself as a working-class 100, including the linguistic changes needed to read as genuine. 'Dumb' girls can still be fun to be around, especially as they tend to be more pleasant company. I just don't expect them to offer me intellectual stimulation, and then aren't disappointed when they don't.
I need to learn how to do this.
Quote:Quote:
I don't need to 'prove' my intelligence to them just to puff up my vanity or self-esteem - that arrogance is why university women are so unpleasant to be around. Displaying my intelligence has never gotten me laid, except with a unique subset of girl who overestimates her own, and even then, I have to hold it back.
Me neither. This isn't really about ego, it's about being comfortable as myself. I like talking about the planets sometimes. I brought up Jupiter to one of the girls I was out with, and the way her eyes glazed over... But when I brought up some shit about Kanye West, she laughed, had things to say... Bah!
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Beyond Borders - 06-20-2014
Fuck what anyone else thinks - go with whatever does it for you.
Men who like women have been doing that for all of time and there's something for everyone.
Someday it'll probably change anyways. I've certainly gone through my share of phases.
I actually evolved backwards in this sense. I liked smarter girls when I was younger and now would rather hang out with women who don't know any English and can barely communicate with me. haha. I've felt my tastes itching to go back the other direction though.
Have fun with it and try different things. It might surprise you what rubs you right.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - berserk - 06-20-2014
Do you really want a smart woman though or do you want a woman with similar background and familiarity with your interests? Actual smart women, such as doctors, I've found to have egos through the roof at best (if still feminine) or masculine robots at worst with all kinds of neurotics in between.
Above average intelligence in women is enough for me as well as being 'cultured' enough to understand the kind of topics someone with my background and social class are interested in. Being cultured is sorely lacking in western girls even educated.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Parlay44 - 06-20-2014
Smart women have smart hamsters. They're more trouble than they're worth. I told one girl that I liked her because she was "smart enough". She laughed.
If she's too smart she'll be a pain in the ass over analyzing everything. If she's too dumb she'll get boring and annoying. She needs to be smart enough to have adult conversations with but not smarter than you because she won't look up to you like a woman should.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Slick Shimmer - 06-20-2014
I'm in my mid 20's and find myself walking away from hot girls just because of how boring they are. I have incredible charisma though, and spent a lot of time working in bars, so you can imagine I've become a little hardened to talking to good-looking women.
I recently realized I often treat girls like a hot girl treats a low status man. Even though I approached, and even though they're smiling and into me, I will disengage after a few minutes if they bore me.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - OneIdea - 06-20-2014
I'm 46, and believe me, IQ has nothing to do with it.
Original poster is tired of club girls. But he's confusing non-club girls with smart girls—a mistake.
Smart girls have their own set of problems. And there are lots of smart girls who are club girls.
What you want is a non-club girl; in other words, a homebody.
Whether she's smart or stupid doesn't matter, it's the desire (or lack thereof) to party hardy. You get older, you want to relax and take it easy. Clubbing 'til 4am is just not appealing after 40; in my own case, I was bored with clubbing after I was 32.
In my own case, I found a then-21 year old who was a homebody. We're married with a kid, working on kid 2—and not once has she wanted to go out after 11pm. The times we've gone out, I've had to nearly twist her arm.
It's not brains, it's personality. My 2¢.
OneIdea
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - Comte De St. Germain - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 03:29 PM)runsonmagic Wrote:
I'm considering doing a blog post about this.
People have different needs - sexual, intellectual, affection, intimacy, etc.
Often, we collapse needs - especially sex, intimacy, affection. If men want affection from a woman, they usually have to be related to her, or in a relationship with her - even non-sexual affection.
It sounds like for you intimacy and intellectual connection are your primary needs now.
At the end of the day, it's the same thing in all game:
1) Get clear on what you want and what your specific needs are
2) Qualify those in your life to surround yourself with relationships that fulfill those needs
And of course, figure out what the type of woman you want really wants, and make yourself that person.
You can still approach this in an "alpha" way if you qualify women based on their ability to fulfill your needs.
Imagine how the hamster would spin if you told a woman, "I'm sorry, your ass is fine, but you're not smart enough to possibility satisfy me."
Sometimes the desire for "smart" women comes from either mother issues, or an unfulfilled desire for masculine community. Try joining an intellectual male group, and seeing if that satisfies you.
Some people like to mix needs - fucking someone for their mind and values is a thing. "This person is really smart, and they picked me." It's not how I operate, but I get the desire. But get specific about what you want. What is it about smart women that attracts you?
Please do this article runsonmagic as this is exactly how I feel. I get the intellectual intensity from my close friends, and so I want the dumb,smiling, laughing broad whom is led on by me(intimacy) as well as feminine/cute(affectionate) in her own way.
It's all based on the mental needs a person has.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - agentaika - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 07:15 PM)OneIdea Wrote:
Original poster is tired of club girls. But he's confusing non-club girls with smart girls—a mistake.
Not quite. The nightclub girl was just an example. I'm more or less tired of the typical American girls who only care about pop culture and shopping. I'm not fond of college educated feminists either, who represent the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm looking for someone in-between these two. I'm going out to some nice places this weekend.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - simondice - 06-20-2014
You need a shy girl who's into books and she's hot. Look for these girls in sophisticated places. You can find them in Barnes and nobles or like really old book stores. Run day game and you should be fine.
Honestly though, try to have a group of male intellectuals outside of work like the old Greek civilization used to do and saturate your needs with their intellect over lunch or a cigar club. I'm with Engineering friends where we discuss politics and ideas of prototypes with different materials and other friends where we discuss the stock market and its Geo-political effects on the different aspects of the world. This plus my business and school and all I want in a pretty girl who knows how to suck cock and can be as feminine (emotional connection and pleasing). I don't want an idiot, but someone who doesn't mention keeping up with the Kardashans or that bullshit is fine.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - HawkWrites - 06-20-2014
You're probably just getting sick of the kind of vapid crap most women bring to the table with their Liberal Arts degrees or general societal indoctrination. I can't say I blame you; a conversation with a STEM lady can be very intellectually engaging and serve as a jumping point for many battles of wits and intellect as opposed to the dime-a-dozen English major whose only claim to fame is knowing that no, a comma absolutely doesn't go there.
However, you run the risk of that woman with above-average intellect being frigid as hell (that is, if she TRULY put in the work to get her degree and didn't have her orbiters do it for her).
I can certainly identify where you're coming from but I find myself turning to my friends for engaging intellectual stimulation (we're mostly programmers or IT guys) and not expecting the kind of reciprocation from women that I get from them. In the end, though, it's all about your personal preference. Tread lightly, my friend.
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - The Lizard of Oz - 06-20-2014
Quote: (06-20-2014 05:11 PM)agentaika Wrote:
I know smart, beautiful women exist. I've met a couple. My dream woman would be someone like Marissa Meyer, the CEO of Yahoo. She's cute (about a 7), and she's a genius.
![[Image: the-best-of-the-skeptical-3rd-world-kid-meme.jpg]](http://img1.rnkr-static.com/list_img/78/540078/C250/the-best-of-the-skeptical-3rd-world-kid-meme.jpg)
Am I turning into a beta or just getting old? Desiring smart women. - simondice - 06-20-2014
I mean I've been there done that (smart women) and these girls are just not that stimulating because the way they process knowledge can be great but the way they express it is not stimulating as a guy would do it, and lets keep it real, smart women can be quite masculine and sometimes down right ugly ( have you seen STEM girls lately ?)
I like learning languages from them though, if she speaks let's say Arabic, fucking her and learning it can be awesome.
Music like playing the piano can be fun too.