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Player's Log / Lounge - MediumRare - 02-16-2017
It prob is dead mate, but def don't send another text.
I'm not sure there is such a thing as a J girl expert lol, and even if there was, could he really read much into one girl and one night?
Dont over think this stuff, it could be one of a million reasons why.
You gave it your best shot so the balls in her court now.
Move on unless you hear from her again.
Probably just the most obvious, that she does have a bf, was feeling lonely, liked your attention and let you kiss her but felt too guilty to reciprocate or let you in her room.
If you act needy now by chasing her you'll likely chase her away for good.
But if you're just cool and move on, there is a chance she may come back to you, even weeks from now next time she's feeling lonely.
Don't bank on it though, just get on with your life, look for other girls and you never know, u may get a nice surprise one day.
Player's Log / Lounge - philosophical_recovery - 02-16-2017
Guy goes out doing daygame without any real game.
Fumbles around quite a bit, but tries really damn hard. He could've done a lot better if he had a different approach, banter skills aside from talking about not doing online dating, etc.
Player's Log / Lounge - Cattle Rustler - 02-16-2017
For the J girl thing, post it on the Japan thread or PM C-Note, CJ_W, Big in Japan (he changed his name, forgot what his new one is).
I guess she was afraid of losing face, but I've never had a J girl so take my advice with a grain of salt.
Player's Log / Lounge - ksbms - 02-16-2017
Quote: (02-16-2017 02:14 AM)MediumRare Wrote:
It prob is dead mate, but def don't send another text.
I'm not sure there is such a thing as a J girl expert lol, and even if there was, could he really read much into one girl and one night?
Dont over think this stuff, it could be one of a million reasons why.
You gave it your best shot so the balls in her court now.
Move on unless you hear from her again.
Probably just the most obvious, that she does have a bf, was feeling lonely, liked your attention and let you kiss her but felt too guilty to reciprocate or let you in her room.
If you act needy now by chasing her you'll likely chase her away for good.
But if you're just cool and move on, there is a chance she may come back to you, even weeks from now next time she's feeling lonely.
Don't bank on it though, just get on with your life, look for other girls and you never know, u may get a nice surprise one day.
I actually re-messaged her again. Sent a non-committal picture of a girl dancing in the wheat field with a text "How I imagine you living in your village". Surprisingly, she replied a couple hours later that her hometown didn't look as pretty.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-16-2017
Damn just say "lets get together again whats your sched like"
It's not rocket science. You want to see her again then tell her that, she isn't a mind reader. If she deflects/ignores then you know the score.
Player's Log / Lounge - Rhyme or Reason - 02-16-2017
These last few pages are jam packed with good shit. I have mad respect for you guys for sharing your stories with such brutal honesty.
I think at the end of the day, we do want more than just bangs. If that was all we wanted, these types of posts would never see the light of day. Stalin's right, don't be a robot, but don't be a simp either. Walking that line can be very tough.
The slut I've been banging for the last year or so, who would deliver herself to me any time I wanted, and was fucking awesome in the sac, recently ghosted. When I hadn't heard from her in a few days (i never texted first) I knew she had replaced me. I was right.
Even though I never invested in her, I can't help but feel salty about it. I even banged a few other chicks during the time we were "dating" and thought nothing of it. It was always on my terms. Well, I suppose you can only "play them to the left" for so long before they decide that they want someone who will invest more. It's was terrible timing for me, because a bunch of other shit recently hit the fan for me, so I had a terrible weekend. Band is no more. 10 months of my efforts thrown down the drain. The slut that would drain my nuts, gone.
Fuck.
A few months ago I also deleted all my dating apps, and right now I have no desire to get back on it. I haven't been going out or approaching either. Here's the worst part: my eye contact is shit right now. When I make eye contact with a chick, I've been looking away! Goddamnit! That's a sign something else is wrong i think.
Anyway, since you guys kept it 100 here I figure I should do the same.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-16-2017
@Rhyme or Reason
I think every man can do himself well to have a little "clean slate" here and there. Drop a few stagnant endeavors and move onwards and upwards. You know there are more girls and if you were banging that girl consistently for a year without ever investing anything then I'd say you about burnt that one to the filter. You got more out of that fling than most men get from a 1-6 month F-buddy situation.
Take the band situation as an opportunity to pursue something else either by yourself with no one holding you back or with better more like-minded folks.
--------------------------------------------
I'll give a brief snapshot into my current lovelife.
I've been seeing my main girl for near 6 months now (time sure flies). I'm still firm that she is not a lifelong partner for me, but things are still going well. I have no issues with them going how they are going, but things are getting a little more complicated as I'm pretty sure she has fallen in love with me. She hasn't said the words but I can tell. This only means I'm going to break her heart at some point, but hopefully she just leaves on her own when the time comes.
I've dropped a few plates (deliberately) over the past month or so, and gained one or two. There is this big titted thick girl who I've been with a few times now and she seems to be getting more into me, and I have another girl or two that I never hit up but I know are dead ringers when I need them.
This big titted black girl went ghost on me suddenly which is kind of a drag. We had been chatting consistently and she has always been warm and eager to get together but we were both too busy to meet up the past couple weeks. She wanted to get together Friday for dinner. I wanted to get her to my place for some banging at some point but she insisted we "just do something simple like dinner" and said she had to take her kid somewhere in the morning hinting that she couldn't be out late. I told her if she had to be in early then we can just do it the next night. The last text I got from her was "Haven't seen or really been in touch with you that much in the past few weeks and I wanted to catch up" - told her dinner was fine, but then remember I had a concert I was going to Friday so I texted again saying I forgot about the concert and asked to reschedule for the next night. She never responded. I texted again later on "tomorrow night cool?" no response. Texted after the weekend "You still alive?" no response" - so then I texted a last time "Well if you still want to get together sometime hit me up." Oh well.
The sexy mexican girl that cleans my office still texts me all the time and leaves cute notes on my desk despite the fact I haven't seen her in months and almost never text her.
I have a fistful of online birds from all different apps I'm angling dates with over the next couple weeks but I've been awfully busy with other shit so finding time to see them is proving to be difficult. Got a couple promising leads though.
Back to you Jim.
Player's Log / Lounge - Vill@in - 02-16-2017
Quote: (02-16-2017 12:22 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:
These last few pages are jam packed with good shit. I have mad respect for you guys for sharing your stories with such brutal honesty.
I think at the end of the day, we do want more than just bangs. If that was all we wanted, these types of posts would never see the light of day. Stalin's right, don't be a robot, but don't be a simp either. Walking that line can be very tough.
The slut I've been banging for the last year or so, who would deliver herself to me any time I wanted, and was fucking awesome in the sac, recently ghosted. When I hadn't heard from her in a few days (i never texted first) I knew she had replaced me. I was right.
Man, this is my problem too. I never text first. And if I do, it's short. For example, I banged this Sicilian chick on Sunday (thread-11951-page-160.html) and didn't hear from her that night or early Monday. I finally said fuck it and sent her a text with the following exchange:
Me: "Hey, how's your day going?"
Her: "Good. You?"
Me: "Good. Not as good as yesterday though."
Her: "Lol. Is that so?"
And that was it. I didn't respond. I guess the fact that I had to send the first text to her after we banged pisses me off and the fact that her answers were short made it worse. I haven't talked to her since and don't plan on it.
Maybe my ego is afraid of sending a text first and getting no response (i.e. rejected). I have had a few meet ups with girls and refused to send a follow up "I had a great time" text, waiting for them to send it first. If not, I move on. I met a girl like this last October and we really clicked. I was super attracted to her. Kissed her after walking her out to her car and then...nothing. It bugged me for a few days. "Why would she kiss me if she didn't like me?" I broke down and sent her a text and I DID receive a response...but again, it was short. I never responded. Fuck her.
Haha I need to get over that fear.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-16-2017
Don't get so bitter over texting. Asking "how's your day going" isn't exactly riveting conversation. She answered your question and returned in kind. She also probed for more info from you because you baited her about the day before but you never answered.
If you want to see her again then instead of "Good. Not as good as yesterday though." you should say "Great so whatchoo got going on this week?"
She'll tell you her schedule (or just convey that she's mad busy which means she's not interested in seeing you again). Once you know her availability you say "cool well im free xxxday lets get togther"
People making texting harder than it's gotta be.
Player's Log / Lounge - Mufasa - 02-16-2017
Quote: (02-16-2017 02:04 PM)graffix13 Wrote:
Quote: (02-16-2017 12:22 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:
When I hadn't heard from her in a few days (i never texted first) I knew she had replaced me. I was right.
Man, this is my problem too. I never text first. And if I do, it's short. For example, I banged this Sicilian chick on Sunday (thread-11951-page-160.html) and didn't hear from her that night or early Monday. I finally said fuck it and sent her a text with the following exchange:
Me: "Hey, how's your day going?"
Her: "Good. You?"
Me: "Good. Not as good as yesterday though."
Her: "Lol. Is that so?"
And that was it. I didn't respond.
I always send a first text. I don't trust girls with the livelyhood or anything especially not a relationship. We here talk about leading leading leading and not texting first to me is not leading.
However I try to make sure her response is the last one sent.
Another thing you were short as well, I feel that most of us know that women can't progress a conversation. If you hadn't fucked her and asked her these questions you would consider this bad texting game.
Just because you fucked her doesnt mean a damn thing and it doesnt mean you can stop running game. We don't owe them anything and they don't owe us--Stalin just posted that women can have nsa sex.
Expecting a woman to text you first to me is fools gold. Its obviously an IOI but still--always be the captain of your ship.
Also she answered you text with a question. Girls who aren't interested in my experience won't even bother with punctuation let alone a question.
edit:
Quote: (02-16-2017 02:15 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
Don't get so bitter over texting. Asking "how's your day going" isn't exactly riveting conversation. She answered your question and returned in kind. She also probed for more info from you because you baited her about the day before but you never answered.
If you want to see her again then instead of "Good. Not as good as yesterday though." you should say "Great so whatchoo got going on this week?"
She'll tell you her schedule (or just convey that she's mad busy which means she's not interested in seeing you again). Once you know her availability you say "cool well im free xxxday lets get togther"
People making texting harder than it's gotta be.
Bingo
also: "Good. Not as good as yesterday though"
yuck man, what girl wants to be with a debby downer lol
Player's Log / Lounge - Rhyme or Reason - 02-16-2017
When I said I never texted first, I meant this girl specifically. It was meant to illustrate that she was the one always initiating. Also, I do tend to keep the texting to a minimum, because it helps me maintain "hand". It's not that i'm consciencely doing it for that purpose, but I have found that to be the end result.
@GS
Quote:Quote:
I think every man can do himself well to have a little "clean slate" here and there. Drop a few stagnant endeavors and move onwards and upwards. You know there are more girls and if you were banging that girl consistently for a year without ever investing anything then I'd say you about burnt that one to the filter. You got more out of that fling than most men get from a 1-6 month F-buddy situation.
Take the band situation as an opportunity to pursue something else either by yourself with no one holding you back or with better more like-minded folks.
This is very true. The chick told me she loved me many times over the course. I never really bought it though.
What you say about a "clean slate" is exactly what I'm going through. Currently taking an honest audit of myself over the last year and how I can improve myself more. It's strange how things seem to much clearer after the fact of them going to shit. It's the way it is though. We have to learn lessons somehow. I've always had to learn things the hard way. I've started to curtail my drinking a lot and feel more energy already.
I guess this post isn't really PL material at this point, but whatever.
Player's Log / Lounge - Vill@in - 02-16-2017
Quote: (02-16-2017 02:22 PM)Mufasa Wrote:
I always send a first text. I don't trust girls with the livelyhood or anything especially not a relationship. We here talk about leading leading leading and not texting first to me is not leading.
Great point.
Quote: (02-16-2017 02:22 PM)Mufasa Wrote:
also: "Good. Not as good as yesterday though"
yuck man, what girl wants to be with a debby downer lol
Yeah I was insinuating I had more fun the day before when I was with her.
Player's Log / Lounge - Mufasa - 02-16-2017
Quote: (02-16-2017 02:39 PM)graffix13 Wrote:
Quote: (02-16-2017 02:22 PM)Mufasa Wrote:
also: "Good. Not as good as yesterday though"
yuck man, what girl wants to be with a debby downer lol
Yeah I was insinuating I had more fun the day before when I was with her.
Word but thats not something you want to imply even in the slightest--that your life is less than stellar without her. I'll usually fill in with exciting things I've done in the past that she can't prove I'm doing right now. Boat parties, Lake houses, private events, etc. Do i get invited to these: yes. When she asks during our future hang out will the event have occurred in the past: yes.
Rationalizing it like that helps me sleep at night lol
Player's Log / Lounge - TTQQTT - 02-16-2017
I'm not a player by any means so I don't know if I should post this here but anyway...
My Ex contacted me out of the blue a week ago, said she's back in town. Asked if I wanted to meet with her. I thought I was really over her (picked up a new girl like 7-8 days ago) and wanted to bang her one more time (I know...).
Met up and really had a great time. We go to her apartment. She stays at a friend and that bitch of a friend cock-blocked me hard. Couldn't get the bang though I'm 100% sure I could've if we went to my place. But it really doesn't matter.
Today I received a very emotional and incoherent text from her that said we shouldn't see each other anymore (yeah right)
In a kind of masochistic way I wanted to learn this lesson the hard way. I knew that she would contact me again and I knew what will happen. Maybe it's just me but I think it's better sometimes to make mistakes even intentionally and learn from them than just follow some rules...
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-16-2017
Quote: (02-16-2017 05:14 PM)TTQQTT Wrote:
I think it's better sometimes to make mistakes even intentionally and learn from them than just follow some rules...
This is by and large the best way to learn almost anything. It's called experience.
Player's Log / Lounge - CJ_W - 02-16-2017
[quote] (02-15-2017 08:01 PM)ksbms Wrote:
[quote='ksbms' pid='1510602' dateline='1487163774']
Met with a J-girl studying in Scotland from this[/quote]
Thanks for the message, I rarely look at this lounge thread.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure your logistics were fucked. You didn't even need to kiss her, much less multiple times, you needed to bring her to your place, If you didn't think she was warm enough you should have taken her to a coffee shop or a fun place for like 15-20 minutes, THEN to the bar, THEN to your house, THEN start kissing. Kino is good but yeah, J-girls may kiss you in public but it adds to the slut alarm thing.
I think that's where you fked up. You can try inviting her to your place and cooking food and having wine or something next time, if she responds back. I wouldn't expect it though, besides you should have multiple women waiting in the wings so that you wont be obsessing over one girl, so what if she's Japanese? Her pussy aint better than anyone else's that is just as attractive as she is.
This bring me to another point. A few guys here may disagree but, I've started to soft next quickly a LOT, I dont really have time to deal with LMR nowadays, so if there are signs that a chick is going to make me have to go through the motions to fuck her, I usually end it before getting to that point, and maybe use her as a point of contact for other women or other things I do, as in activities where I'll invite multiple women to hang out with me, nothing sexual, but to increase my smv. That's a different subject/potential data sheet altogether though.
Basically, the controversial point is this: when she said she "had a boyfriend," that's usually when I know she's going to have some LMR, sure you can fuck her, but USUALLY it's a pain in the ass to do this, and I don't feel like dealing with that. . .I used to not give a shit when I was younger but, back then I didn't really know what I wanted to do. Basically after getting your logistics on lock, feel her out to see if she's going to be a problem when you go back to your place. If she mentions a boyfriend, or keeps asking "where are we going" while you go to your venues, she's most likely going to give LMR, and I usually cut the date short and put her on the back burner.
For example, Tonight, meeting a woman, all I said was "I'm free on day x let's meet up" She wanted to meet up after 11pm. This is the thing I want to see, she's basically telling me she wants to bang. So I'm going to do that, bar for a bit then to my place. easy.
I had stacked another date for tonight with a chick who acts like a slut for attention but when it comes down to it she acts like she wants to be nexted, so she mentioned like early this morning that she shouldn't come because she needs to save money. I don't try to salvage chicks like this, I'll just say "k" and nothing else, I'll invite her to a gathering with other women I invite just to use her as a pivot, but I don't plan on contacting her for any one on one meetings unless she just comes to my house.
If you're a younger guy (early 20's) you really need to be in the gym anyway + have some kind of hobby you enjoy. I'd recommend salsa dancing. Lifting + having 3-5 years of dancing experience. . .by the time you're 26 you could be a dance instructor on the side. . .the opportunities are endless. So you need to think about what you want to do with your life, how you plan to make money, and what hobbies you want to pick up that are more conducive to getting women.
People will say shit like "don't get hobbies for girlslslsl1!!111, get them for yourselffffff111!!!" Yeah, fuck that. That's stupid. You're a man, you can enjoy anything if you only look at the positive aspects of it. I started playing Piano when I was in Junior high because a girl I like mentioned that she loved it, I didn't get her but when I was in college, I would play piano in the music area that had lots of windows. . .girls would walk by see me playing, some would even come in in the evenings when I would practice and sit in. . .after I was done. . .
Let's just say that this is why I got myself a silly degree in music instead of not being a dumbass and getting an engineering degree or CS or something useful for making money. Make sure you don't make this mistake, you can go to the library and read books on music and practice on your own if you want to.
So yeah, you have your work cut out for you, it's a good thing you found this site, just do some tweaks here and there, decide how much time you want to spend to bed each woman, keep hitting the weights and find hobbies (and niches) to help draw women to you and enjoy the ride.
On Another note. . .Logistics:
[quote] (02-16-2017 05:14 PM)TTQQTT Wrote:
I'm not a player by any means so I don't know if I should post this here but anyway...
My Ex contacted me out of the blue a week ago, said she's back in town. Asked if I wanted to meet with her. I thought I was really over her (picked up a new girl like 7-8 days ago) and wanted to bang her one more time (I know...).
Met up and really had a great time. ---->We go to her apartment.<-----[/quote]
. . .
You need to stop doing this.
Wtf is wrong with your apartment? YOU need to be in control PERIOD. Sorry if it seems like I'm mad at you but . . .God damn, getting your logistics right are the basics of the basics. Nothing else can happen until you get this right. She basically called you saying "Hey, I'm coming into town, can you bring me to your place and fuck me silly for old times sake?" Then you bring her to her place that she's temporarily staying. . .
man. . .just reading that makes me frustrated. Please, next time. . .work this stuff out. You have your own territory for a reason. Your territory is your CASTLE! its your KINGDOM! You don't go to the territory of others and expect to do the same thing you would do in your own territory. That's just asking for failure.
You've got to figure this out or become an incel.
P.S. she wasn't crying in that email because of emotions, she was crying because she wanted your dick and you didn't deliver, you let her down man. . . you let her down.
Player's Log / Lounge - heavy - 02-17-2017
Here's how heavy handles a girl cancelling on me same day:
Background: Friend of a friend, she wants me, she actually asked to go home with me one Friday night a few weeks ago and I couldn't. So we've been planning on getting together. Thursday night we text back and forth a few times (I rarely text much, basically only for logistics). I'll call her TwentyThree because I think that's her age...
(last night)
Me:Let's hang out tomorrow night
TwentyThree: Alright I have dinner with my mom then I can probably head that way after!
Me: Coo
TwentyThree: Kachoo
Me: Well now I have Mrs Robinson stuck in my head
TwentyThree: Hahaha
(today lunchtime)
TwentyThree: I'm gonna have to cancel tonight sorry! my step dad isn't doing well.
Me: K another time
TwentyThree:For sure!
No emotion. Not mad, not upset, no feelings hurt. No sarcasm. Just let her know I heard her.
Here's why. And these reasons and logic aren't something I ever think about, it's just automatic after getting a divorce and having sex with lotsa girls and becoming a man and realizing my emotions are mine, and even if she stands me up, the way I process it is up to me.
Anyway here's the reason: She's a girl, so her reason for cancelling doesn't matter. Maybe her step dad has stage 4 cancer. Maybe she's codependent with her mom, and as much as she wants my dick, she can't deal with mom guilt. Maybe her ex boyfriend wants to talk, and she feels bad not talking to him. Maybe she has another guy she might be seeing, but she wants to keep me in the Rolodex. Maybe she feels gross and fat and just doesn't feel like getting done up to show me her best (remember, girls are more content R&R because of higher estrogen and lower testosterone).
She's a girl, and her real reason doesn't matter. I don't even care. I haven't really invested anything into our rendezvous anyway, so I'll try again (if it were a last minute flake it'd be different, I'd never entertain investing any energy or time into a potential date again).
And if I don't see her for 6 months and then we run into one another, great. Too many guys are bitches when it comes to making plans with chicks. When it comes to girls, I fly by the seat of my pants, because that's what they do.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-17-2017
To make a long story short: They don't owe you a damn thing and neither do you. No use whining about something you can't control.
Player's Log / Lounge - Ringo - 02-18-2017
It's Carnaval here in Brazil. Every Saturday and Sunday there's literally tens of street parades all over town, and a street party after the parade is done.
I've been trying to score but I've been failing HARD.
I've been going out everyday and can't get any girl to come home. Taking numbers is kind of useless because so many girls are drunk and have met (or will meet) other guys, so prospecting for future bangs no good. Plus, by the end of the day/early night girls have made out with ten guys and I don't feel like being #11, even if it gets me the bang.
I've been having no trouble opening groups and setting my friends up. But I have a really chilled personality which doesn't go well on these huge events.
I think I need to quit trying to game, just approach and start advancing towards a grab chicks. I see it working all the time but I can't get myself to do it. A five minute talk is way too much in these conditions.
Player's Log / Lounge - philosophical_recovery - 02-18-2017
Getting a first date bang with amazing sexual chemistry will probably never get old.
Player's Log / Lounge - Merenguero - 02-19-2017
Quote: (02-08-2017 06:32 PM)soup Wrote:
I'm well. Thanks for the kind words and hope you are good too.
Hey Soup, just so you know, I've been to Playa four times, the most recent time being a few days after you left there, and I say the place has completely gone to shit. Quality and volume are both way down and there are so many annoyances that it's not even funny. If you go back, concentrate on the Argentines and the French Canadians. Both of those groups require a lot of work, but they are by far the two best looking groups there.
Player's Log / Lounge - soup - 02-19-2017
I always concentrate on Argentinians as they are the supreme balance of face, pussy, and ass. They are crazy. That's the only draw back. Otherwise, they are tan, Elfish chicks with the best ass you will ever find. There's a reason why all the NAzi's went there after they lost WWII. The pussy is too strong.
Player's Log / Lounge - soup - 02-19-2017
Quote: (02-19-2017 02:57 AM)Merenguero Wrote:
Quote: (02-08-2017 06:32 PM)soup Wrote:
I'm well. Thanks for the kind words and hope you are good too.
Hey Soup, just so you know, I've been to Playa four times, the most recent time being a few days after you left there, and I say the place has completely gone to shit. Quality and volume are both way down and there are so many annoyances that it's not even funny. If you go back, concentrate on the Argentines and the French Canadians. Both of those groups require a lot of work, but they are by far the two best looking groups there.
Playa has potential, but it's the low hanging fruit. For me, it was a vacation from NYC. Crazy times and fun had nonetheless!
Player's Log / Lounge - Merenguero - 02-19-2017
Quote: (02-19-2017 04:20 AM)soup Wrote:
I always concentrate on Argentinians as they are the supreme balance of face, pussy, and ass. They are crazy. That's the only draw back. Otherwise, they are tan, Elfish chicks with the best ass you will ever find. There's a reason why all the NAzi's went there after they lost WWII. The pussy is too strong.
Try Cordoba or Mendoza. Both easier and cheaper than Buenos Aires and Cordoba very likely has better quality than Buenos Aires.
Player's Log / Lounge - soup - 02-19-2017
Very good advice. I think you don't need to need to try those places from a scarcity mindset. Make more money so that you don't need to slum it. What would DJT do? He wouldn't go to some cheap place.
Either that or get very good at greasing.