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Player's Log / Lounge - kaotic - 02-13-2017
Hah thanks Mufasa.
Yeah I kind have the anxiety/pit in stomach thing, but it's going away.
I think the biggest issue was, it didn't end on my terms.
With girls who I was seeing consistently or were in mini LTR's wanted more from me, and I ended things on my terms and on good terms.
Also, it's ironic, the girls who chased me I ended not wanting anything with, the girl that I want clearly wants nothing to do with me.
Such a shame because I was really beginning to like her.
Getting ghosted on like this isn't fun at all, but should be expected.
Women will never speak their minds to explain or rationalize why they chose to stop talking to you. Hence your girl not even giving an explanation about why she doesn't want to see you anymore.
In the end, at least you got that, and not some unambiguous explanation about her life, with a stick and carrot about chatting later, only to be ignored.
Honestly if she asked the "what are we" question, I would've given her commitment eventually, but she isn't wifey material, just a fun easy going girl to have around.
Lately with women, I'm trying to seek two types of girls:
The secret society/slut types where they know what's up and are easy to bang and hang with.
The quality girl connection types, ones that are just really cool to hang with and you can enjoy your time with them.
Which brings me to Stalin's earlier post:
Quote: (02-08-2017 02:41 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
I'd like to take a moment to shed some light on something I think a lot of players on here, newbies and vets alike, miss out on when keeping their interactions with women as distant and surface-level as possible.
Bonding.
Now I'm not advocating diving into committed relationships here - what I am advocating is allowing yourself to get close enough to a girl and spending enough time with her to be able to experience some of the finer aspects of the fairer sex from time to time. Having sex with a girl and cuddling with her on your couch and whatnot is nice, but doing girlfriend/boyfriend-level stuff can be even better and create much more enjoyment in my humble opinion. Appreciating spending time with one another, experiencing new things together, going on trips, etc.
Most of the talk on this board is about just getting your dick wet - which is fine don't get me wrong. This is just another aspect of interacting with females I think is sort of stigmatized on this board because of the "beta" connotation of it and the self-imposed risks of getting attached and giving a girl the keys to your castle figuratively speaking. You can sort of have both if you're savvy enough with your emotions while being able to equally throw some caution to the wind.
Bonding isn't something I'm afraid of, but I am concerned about LOSING the ability to do so.
Emotional connections are important, if we push it away bonding can be tougher, if we embrace it too hard we get burned.
You have to walk a fine line of balancing your emotions and staying sharp with game.
There have been some pretty cool and hot women in my life, I've either had to end things or push them away.
I admit I'm a bit of a sociopath, dating a few girls at once, or having a main woman and seeing other girls on the side.
I love women, I'm just not in love with a specific one.
You can have emotions for a girl but NOT be invested in her.
I wouldn't mind having a consistent and lovely woman around.
It just goes to show you, in the end, a woman's views can change faster than the wind.
WIA said it best, "Being a player is heaven and purgatory" - with the good comes the bad.
Maybe I'm just hitting a rough patch right now, I shouldn't be acting this way over one cool girl, when there's plenty out there.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-13-2017
I don't care how seasoned and weathered of a player one is: everyone gets salty when an enjoyable girl leaves.
As for the care/care less aspect. It goes hand in hand. Men are not immune to attachment and supplication. You miss the girls you liked more then they liked you because it's an unrequited love. The relationship did not exhaust to your satisfaction so you are left feeling like things are unfinished. Unfortunately two different people are two different people and perspectives are always at least a little different if not VERY different.
These are things we try to shield ourselves from so we don't get emotionally hurt. Sadness, anger, feeling of loss, loneliness, etc. These are all painful and many of us have felt them several times in our lives and don't want to feel them anymore so we re-program ourselves to safeguard against it.
This is good but like anything a person can go too far with it. It's smart and wise to be careful with who and what you invest yourself in, but I feel it unwise to stop investing all together. You do that long enough you may find yourself in a position where it is difficult to bond with people and care about things.
Don't be a sucker, but don't be a robot either. Be a man.
Player's Log / Lounge - RunsWithScissors - 02-13-2017
Quote:General Stalin Wrote:
This is good but like anything a person can go too far with it. It's smart and wise to be careful with who and what you invest yourself in, but I feel it unwise to stop investing all together. You do that long enough you may find yourself in a position where it is difficult to bond with people and care about things.
Don't be a sucker, but don't be a robot either. Be a man.
Finding this balance is tough, I invest too quickly with the ones that seem to have potential especially if they have a lot of potential, and it's always ended up burning me. And having sex with another woman doesn't help much anymore. I had sex with three different women last week and still my thoughts are with the one that wanted me less than I wanted her.
Kaotic, I appreciate you sharing your experience with such candor, I've been going through a similar experience the past few weeks so I feel your pain.
Player's Log / Lounge - kaotic - 02-13-2017
Quote: (02-13-2017 01:47 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
I don't care how seasoned and weathered of a player one is: everyone gets salty when an enjoyable girl leaves.
As for the care/care less aspect. It goes hand in hand. Men are not immune to attachment and supplication. You miss the girls you liked more then they liked you because it's an unrequited love. The relationship did not exhaust to your satisfaction so you are left feeling like things are unfinished. Unfortunately two different people are two different people and perspectives are always at least a little different if not VERY different.
These are things we try to shield ourselves from so we don't get emotionally hurt. Sadness, anger, feeling of loss, loneliness, etc. These are all painful and many of us have felt them several times in our lives and don't want to feel them anymore so we re-program ourselves to safeguard against it.
This is good but like anything a person can go too far with it. It's smart and wise to be careful with who and what you invest yourself in, but I feel it unwise to stop investing all together. You do that long enough you may find yourself in a position where it is difficult to bond with people and care about things.
Don't be a sucker, but don't be a robot either. Be a man.
Stalin you hit it out of the park with this one.
I'll be honest, yeah, I'm salty this didn't end on my terms. Every single girl that I banged who bounced or said fuck off DID NOT affect me because I didn't INVEST in them.
My ex deeply affected me, BUT I ended it on my OWN terms. That was what made things better.
It's clear in January something changed changed with her, I doubt it's about her family situation and probably geared more towards me.
Who knows, at this point it doesn't matter.
If she reaches out to me will be another story, but I'm not worried about that.
Investing emotions isn't a use it or lose it scenario, like you said, use it wisely.
The hamster thoughts about what's going on at her end will go away, so will the emotions, and the anxiety. All in due time.
Thanks again man.
Quote: (02-13-2017 05:03 PM)RunsWithScissors Wrote:
Kaotic, I appreciate you sharing your experience with such candor, I've been going through a similar experience the past few weeks so I feel your pain.
To be honest, writing what I'm thinking helps me process things more logically than emotionally.
It's also gives insight into how I think, I'm sure some guys like yourself can relate to things like this - which can help you process it as well.
I think guys can use my writings as learning what to avoid with girlfriends via default and plates they have.
Plus readers and I can more valuable insight from others peoples input and advice given.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-13-2017
RunsWithScissors we need to hang again soon man.
We are human and although we are all very similar, we are also fluid and have different tastes, qualities, proclivities, and talents. I really believe some people are built mentally for being players and some are more suited for relationships, or family life. You can go the fake-it-till-you-make-it route but I think a lot of the time that leads to self-denial and living a life that you may not be too fond of living for the sake of thinking thats what you're supposed to do.
I'm not saying any men are geneticaly predisposed to such things, but rather you being a product of your upbringing and environment is going to shape who you are and what you value. These can be changed with time, but there is no "right" answer and it eventually all comes down to what makes you happiest. If fucking random women with little-to-no really personal emotional attachment is wholly unfulfilling then you may be barking up the wrong tree.
I'm just kind of thinking out-loud here I may be full of shit but I think a lot of men fight their personal desires in lieu of what maybe they think they are supposed to do which may or may not be right. Granted only one's own history can determine what has and hasn't worked in the past but everyone is on their own journey really.
I think in a lot of ways life is about imitating others until you find yourself. Using this community as an example, many of us see and read a lot of shit others are doing and have been through and we relate and say "that's what I need"/"there's where I wanna be" etc. We try it out and maybe we achieve that certain thing and realize it's not what we expected or it's not exactly for us then we evolve from there.
If you had asked me how I wanted my love life to be 5+ years ago I certainly would not have described the love life I have right now. It all changes as you grow and evolve and try out different shit.
The balance between love and lust is not a golden ratio is what I'm trying to say.
Player's Log / Lounge - RunsWithScissors - 02-13-2017
Yeah General definitely want to hang out again soon.
I hear you, and I do believe that I am more of the quality relationships type rather than a player banging random women with little attachment. A lot of this journey for me is about learning the skills to I need to be a man and how to not fuck up the relationships I do get involved with. This is overall a personal development journey, with women being a part of it.
Kaotic it definitely helps to write my thoughts out for the same reasons you list. I've done it a few times in my Newbie thread and there's been countless times I've written up more to share here and then deleted it, not wanting to let my own hamster have too much to say. Just that writing and deleting helps though.
Player's Log / Lounge - Truth Teller - 02-13-2017
Single for the first time in a year. I forgot how much fun game is!
Got a Tinder date on Thursday lined up. Trying to get another set up.
Player's Log / Lounge - kaotic - 02-14-2017
Oh boy did I do something hilarious and semi fucked up:
I was talking to my buddy on the phone, and was trying to read the text exchange I had with biker girl with him (I was catching him up).
Then I was telling him about the possible threesome I'm having tonight, I told him I'd send it to him.
I took a screen shot laid out like this:
Cropped screen shot NO NUMBER
Me: whats your friend look like?
Tattoo girl: She's hot as fuck 20 something...Nice body I'll send a pic
-send picture of a super cute girl with a see through top and waist cropped showing a piece of her thong-
![[Image: ohshit.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/ohshit.gif)
I accidentally sent it to Biker Girl
I freaked the fuck out and started laughing with my buddy on the phone.
Can't believe I did that.
I send her a response:
"My bad that was a screen shot from X buddy, I was trying to send it to Y buddy, it's funny cause they both dated her."
Looking back at it I should've just let it simmer like that.
This literally was an accidental restart text
![[Image: laugh4.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/laugh4.gif)
Basically I've shifted my attitude about her reason being:
-She never received and blocked me.
-She received and pissed her off
-She received it and her hamster is spinning
As I've unfollowed her on the 2 social media apps I had it's much easier to roll over this.
As for this 3 some, it's supposed to happen tonight, but the younger girl is pissing tattoo girls because she has tattoo girls car.
If I get the valentines morning 3some, you'll be the first to know.
Player's Log / Lounge - ksbms - 02-15-2017
Met with a J-girl studying in Scotland from this post, whom I met in a café, talked a few minutes, she seemed quite keen. A bit of a background: I'm white, blue eyes, dark blond hair. To start with, she was straightforward in her replies but always took hours to reply and I didn't get the ball rolling before Monday afternoon.
Met her at 8pm, she was bang on time, tight jeans, mid-high heel boots, all smiles from the get go and throughout the whole date. Went first to non-alcoholic venue, good chat, then bounced to a nearby bar, sat down in a booth, she sat opposite but told her to sit next to me, she did, she was active alcohol drinker, didn't touch a phone for a second. Educated, travelled, and with interesting hobbies, very good English.
No awkwardness at all, things were going smooth, I escalated touching her knees, lower thighs, touching and playing with her hair and grabbing it behind, squeezing her cheek and saying she smiled like a squirrel, then playing with her hands, she was taking it all and all smiles but never really reciprocating apart playfully hitting me with her fist. And that's where first problems came up. When I touched her finger I asked about the ring she wore on her ring finger.
- I got this from my boyfriend who lives in Japan.
I ignored and continued. As she was drinking whisky, some time later I said I was going to kiss her by the time she'd take the last sip and she said:
- No, no, you can't do this, I have a boyfriend.
- I don't plan to be your boyfriend, I replied.
She finished her drink, I went for a kiss, she accepted. It was getting quite late but I didn't feel it was the right moment for extraction. We kissed a few times more, her always accepting but she was passive, though fine with my hand going down her face, neck, and towards her hips but was just sitting there semi-stiff and with her hands together on her lap, her sitting close but never going for it or trying to jump me. She didn't mention boyfriend ever again.
It was near closing time, I wasn't even that horny, she said it was time to go, we stayed a bit more, then I proposed I'd walk her back as she lived in nearby student halls. As we walked I kissed her a couple times on the way back, held her hand for a bit, pushed against the wall, spun around, then in front of the building tried to get in with the classic "I need to pee" but she just led me to a common area. Then I said she could show me around but I had only 5 minutes, though she said she's got flatmates and I didn't push it thinking if I act to needy and it would be a bad sign as I didn't mind one more date. So I interpreted her talking about flatmates she wouldn't like them to see her with me (perhaps they knew she had a boyfriend, if it was truly the case). Then some people arrived at the front door and I saw she felt a bit awkward so I understood she probably wanted discretion so decided it was time to part.
She thanked me for the night, and around an hour later texted it was good to see me again (plus big smiley) and wished a good night. Replied to her midday next day it was nice to meet her as well. Then sent a check-in msg to 10 hours later, no reply so far.
Will I see this J-girl again? Any experts on J-girls would like to chime in - should've been more dominant, poured more alcohol in her and pushed for the lay even though she seemed not ready for extraction?
Player's Log / Lounge - Vill@in - 02-15-2017
I know that whenever you meet a girl and she starts talking about sex, in whatever context, she is thinking about having sex with you. But what about when it's in a negative connotation? For instance:
I met this girl last night for a drink (I had set it up last week...not even thinking yesterday was Valentine's Day). And she was telling me she has never really 'dated' at all in her life as she has been in relationship after relationship. And then she starts asking me how I like dating and what not. Then she starts talking about she gets nervous because of all the STD's that go around and a new strain of Gonorrhea that is antibiotic resistant and that scares the shit out of her. It just was strange because it came out of left field and I never brought up anything sexual up until that point. Obviously her lizard brain took it to a sexual realm and she was expressing her fears about having random sex, but I was curious of why she would put it like that? I dunno. Maybe I took it the wrong way. I didn't get offended or anything...I just reminded her that guys have to worry about that shit too. She agreed but started talking about how guys never show symptoms as much as girls and they have to be more careful.
Overall the date/meet up went well and I did kiss her. Her tits are massive and it took all I had not to stare at them the whole night.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-15-2017
If a girl starts bringing up STDs I find it a little tasteless and hysterical so I flip the script an say something like "You know an awful lot about this, do you have something I should know about?"
When directed at me I just say I'm clean. If they ask how I know then I say I have been blood and pee tested recently. It's a lie but I am clean and telling them you've been to the doctor will sooth their mind. They may inevitably ask "why did you get tested do you fuck a lot or something?" then you just say it was your yearly checkup and it's just something they do - or agree and amplify; look at your watch and say something like "well not right this second". If she keeps prying about it then she is fucking neurotic and you should eject.
This girl you were talking to likely had one or two STD scares maybe recently so she's weird about it. Just need to provide a little comfort and tease her about it to show her she is making a big deal about nothing.
Player's Log / Lounge - MathGuy - 02-15-2017
I'm gonna pop in for a quick question.
For girls 18-22, is it a better choice to opt for her Snapchat/FB rather than her number? Can I get the input of anyone here who does that?
I've always went for the number. While I do get replies, they're more infrequent than I'd like. I suspect that being more up-to-date might get me faster replies.
I'm 22 and have recently started doing pickup again, mainly on college campuses.
Player's Log / Lounge - S3K2 - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 12:34 PM)MathGuy Wrote:
I'm gonna pop in for a quick question.
For girls 18-22, is it a better choice to opt for her Snapchat/FB rather than her number? Can I get the input of anyone here who does that?
I've always went for the number. While I do get replies, they're more infrequent than I'd like. I suspect that being more up-to-date might get me faster replies.
I'm 22 and have recently started doing pickup again, mainly on college campuses.
Instadate>numbers>snapchat>fb in my experience.
Player's Log / Lounge - kaotic - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 11:18 AM)General Stalin Wrote:
If a girl starts bringing up STDs I find it a little tasteless and hysterical so I flip the script an say something like "You know an awful lot about this, do you have something I should know about?"
When directed at me I just say I'm clean. If they ask how I know then I say I have been blood and pee tested recently. It's a lie but I am clean and telling them you've been to the doctor will sooth their mind. They may inevitably ask "why did you get tested do you fuck a lot or something?" then you just say it was your yearly checkup and it's just something they do - or agree and amplify; look at your watch and say something like "well not right this second". If she keeps prying about it then she is fucking neurotic and you should eject.
This girl you were talking to likely had one or two STD scares maybe recently so she's weird about it. Just need to provide a little comfort and tease her about it to show her she is making a big deal about nothing.
Cosign flip the script, or do 1 more and act a little insulted, put them on the defensive, "wow you really think I have something, that's a little insulting...." watch them do verbal gymnastics and fall back.
Quote: (02-15-2017 12:34 PM)MathGuy Wrote:
I'm gonna pop in for a quick question.
For girls 18-22, is it a better choice to opt for her Snapchat/FB rather than her number? Can I get the input of anyone here who does that?
I've always went for the number. While I do get replies, they're more infrequent than I'd like. I suspect that being more up-to-date might get me faster replies.
I'm 22 and have recently started doing pickup again, mainly on college campuses.
Nah fuck all that social media shit, get her number, call her, make plans, close.
All the social media shit just puts you into her orbiter category, it feeds her ego for followers and likes. Be different, don't follow a bitch on that shit.
I never follow hoes on social media, in fact I've had girls I talk to or stopped talking to follow me on snapchat because my number is on there. They can only follow me if I let them.
Player's Log / Lounge - birthday cat - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 03:16 PM)kaotic Wrote:
...
Nah fuck all that social media shit, get her number, call her, make plans, close.
kaotic - before you have banged a girl, do you call girls more or text message? I could see where calling could work since nobody does it anymore.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-15-2017
Was musing to myself while driving the other night and came upon a realization about relationship fidelity between men and women.
All of us here are well aware that it is not the same when a woman cheats on her man versus when a man cheats on his woman, but I think the reason many of us believe this to be true is false.
The generally held belief is that a man can have sex with zero emotional attachment and a woman cannot. I don't believe this to be true. It's very easy for a woman to sleep with men without any emotional involvement. Believe me I've had my share of one night stands to back this up. Women, just like men, will have sex with a random person because they are horny, or bored, or want something different/exciting in their life, etc.
The evidence of why it is different when a man cheats versus when a woman cheats is in the relationship itself: a man can cheat on his girl when there is absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship. When a woman cheats on her man, it is 100% guaranteed something is wrong with the relationship.
A man can sleep with another woman and still have love, respect, and admiration for his girl. If a girl sleeps with another man it's because she is bored, fell out of love, and/or lost respect for her man.
Player's Log / Lounge - torridon747 - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 04:08 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
A man can sleep with another woman and still have love, respect, and admiration for his girl. If a girl sleeps with another man it's because she is bored, fell out of love, and/or lost respect for her man.
I've never cheated on a girl whom I have an exclusivity agreement with (i don't get into those anyway ayyyy) but i agree completely with you. It's pretty well documented men and women have sex for different reasons. This is the next logical conclusion to those studies.
I'm on the fence about meeting with this girl that lives 30m away. I have honestly not met up with girls that i have to drive across town to see but this one has kept my interest. She's spanish and her parents are pretty hardcore traditionalists, i'm a little worried she's a closet slut as i've never met her before but she hasn't given me too much reason to believe so. The only strike against her is that i invited her to come spend valentines day with me and she left me at a "maybe" up until monday night for which she apologized prefusely and i told her no worries I already made other plans after she didn't get back to me by saturday (spin hamster spin).
Another girl I was plotting on for about a week was suppose to meet up with me valentines day but she didn't have a ride and got off work at 8pm so i told her to find a ride to my pad and I'd drive her home otherwise I don't feel like making all the trips. She said we'd have to do it another day I mentioned this weekend and she said she had plans with her sister with no follow up. I never replied, fuck a bitch that's not interested.
A FWB of mine has been flaking out like mad these last few days and keeps finding excuses to not come over, she probably found someone to fund her shitty life; she knew i wouldn't.
Player's Log / Lounge - Vill@in - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 04:08 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
Was musing to myself while driving the other night and came upon a realization about relationship fidelity between men and women.
All of us here are well aware that it is not the same when a woman cheats on her man versus when a man cheats on his woman, but I think the reason many of us believe this to be true is false.
The generally held belief is that a man can have sex with zero emotional attachment and a woman cannot. I don't believe this to be true. It's very easy for a woman to sleep with men without any emotional involvement. Believe me I've had my share of one night stands to back this up. Women, just like men, will have sex with a random person because they are horny, or bored, or want something different/exciting in their life, etc.
The evidence of why it is different when a man cheats versus when a woman cheats is in the relationship itself: a man can cheat on his girl when there is absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship. When a woman cheats on her man, it is 100% guaranteed something is wrong with the relationship.
A man can sleep with another woman and still have love, respect, and admiration for his girl. If a girl sleeps with another man it's because she is bored, fell out of love, and/or lost respect for her man.
Exactly. And in both cases, according to our current blue society...the guy is in the wrong.
Player's Log / Lounge - kaotic - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 03:45 PM)birthday cat Wrote:
Quote: (02-15-2017 03:16 PM)kaotic Wrote:
...
Nah fuck all that social media shit, get her number, call her, make plans, close.
kaotic - before you have banged a girl, do you call girls more or text message? I could see where calling could work since nobody does it anymore.
I text initially, then tell them, "hey busy, let me call you at around X time."
Or "hey driving, don't wanna text and die, call me"
Works almost every time, I haven't had a girl bitch about being on the phone, most find it attractive and agree phone is easier to connect with someone.
Quote: (02-15-2017 04:08 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
The generally held belief is that a man can have sex with zero emotional attachment and a woman cannot. I don't believe this to be true. It's very easy for a woman to sleep with men without any emotional involvement. Believe me I've had my share of one night stands to back this up. Women, just like men, will have sex with a random person because they are horny, or bored, or want something different/exciting in their life, etc.
Agreed 100%.
Quote:Quote:
The evidence of why it is different when a man cheats versus when a woman cheats is in the relationship itself: a man can cheat on his girl when there is absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship. When a woman cheats on her man, it is 100% guaranteed something is wrong with the relationship.
A man can sleep with another woman and still have love, respect, and admiration for his girl. If a girl sleeps with another man it's because she is bored, fell out of love, and/or lost respect for her man.
I've always been in the school of thought that men cheat physically (bored, horny, the chase, new notches)
This is hands down me, my last LTR ex, I constantly fucked on the side, but my love was only hers.
With this most recent last mini LTR it was kind of the same way as above.
Men choose wisely with what women they invest with emotionally.
The latter part of that thought is women cheat emotionally (albeit physically).
Texting former flames/fuck buddies/ex's, flirting with their orbiters, and eventually fucking some of them.
Player's Log / Lounge - robreke - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 04:08 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
Was musing to myself while driving the other night and came upon a realization about relationship fidelity between men and women.
All of us here are well aware that it is not the same when a woman cheats on her man versus when a man cheats on his woman, but I think the reason many of us believe this to be true is false.
The generally held belief is that a man can have sex with zero emotional attachment and a woman cannot. I don't believe this to be true. It's very easy for a woman to sleep with men without any emotional involvement. Believe me I've had my share of one night stands to back this up. Women, just like men, will have sex with a random person because they are horny, or bored, or want something different/exciting in their life, etc.
The evidence of why it is different when a man cheats versus when a woman cheats is in the relationship itself: a man can cheat on his girl when there is absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship. When a woman cheats on her man, it is 100% guaranteed something is wrong with the relationship.
A man can sleep with another woman and still have love, respect, and admiration for his girl. If a girl sleeps with another man it's because she is bored, fell out of love, and/or lost respect for her man.
Agreed.
It's also the physical act of sex itself. When men have sex, we are the ones doing the penetrating. We're in and out.
It's the way nature intended as we produce billions of sperm over a lifetime.
A woman having sex is the one being penetrated. It's more invasive. More of a physical "violation" if you will. She could get pregnant with another's child. She's being owned and dominated and her man should not be able to accept that.
A guy doing it, eh, he was just dipping the wick and getting the rocks off...
Player's Log / Lounge - Cattle Rustler - 02-15-2017
I'll admit it too, I get salty whens shit doesn't end on my terms.
I like it when shit ends whenever I want it to end.
Edit: Also, as much as we read other's experiences....the only way we learn is by experiencing ourselves. Sometimes we think we're the exception and give in....but nope, we get our asses handed back to us and then know how it feels.
Player's Log / Lounge - General Stalin - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 04:51 PM)kaotic Wrote:
The latter part of that thought is women cheat emotionally (albeit physically).
Not exactly, but sort of. A woman doesn't necessarily cheat on her man because she likes another man more, or wants to be with another man more. She isn't giving her love and admiration to another man necessarily, though that does certainly happen a lot of the time. She may cheat with a guy she isn't even into, but does it merely because she is bored with her guy and wants someone different. A girl may also cheat because she has no respect for her man and is "acting out" because she can.
The bottom line is that a woman may fuck around on a dude and it has nothing to do with another man "stealing her away" - but it always means there is a problem with the relationship.
Player's Log / Lounge - kaotic - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 05:01 PM)Cattle Rustler Wrote:
I'll admit it too, I get salty whens shit doesn't end on my terms.
I like it when shit ends whenever I want it to end.
Edit: Also, as much as we read other's experiences....the only way we learn is by experiencing ourselves. Sometimes we think we're the exception and give in....but nope, we get our asses handed back to us and then know how it feels.
It's sucks man, but it's Player's Karma sometimes, you just learn from it and move on my dude.
That's exactly what I'm learning to do right now, the good thing is, it's easier now, than it was before I found the forum.
Quote: (02-15-2017 05:03 PM)General Stalin Wrote:
Quote: (02-15-2017 04:51 PM)kaotic Wrote:
The latter part of that thought is women cheat emotionally (albeit physically).
Not exactly, but sort of. A woman doesn't necessarily cheat on her man because she likes another man more, or wants to be with another man more. She isn't giving her love and admiration to another man necessarily, though that doesn't certainly happen a lot of the time. She may cheat with a guy she isn't even into, but does it merely because she is bored with her guy and wants someone different. A girl may also cheat because she has no respect for her man and is "acting out" because she can.
The bottom line is that a woman may fuck around on a dude and it has nothing to do with another man "stealing her away" - but it always means there is a problem with the relationship.
I should've been more clear, I mean that school of thought, when you're IN a relationship.
But you're right, it definitely has to do when "somethings wrong" in her relationship. The guy can be entirely blind or inept to it, this is where game saves lives.
Player's Log / Lounge - MediumRare - 02-15-2017
Mostly agree, but is it not slightly contradictory to say on one hand women are capable of random sex with strangers simply to ease boredom or get a thrill (true) but then on the other hand to say if they cheat, it's 100% because (they feel) there's something wrong with the relationship? (Also true)
I think the answer to that is in perception.
If she thinks theres a problem, then there is a problem, even if there's actually not.
For many, they backwards rationalise their cheating by supposing there must have been something wrong with the relationship for them to have done it, so they blow little things into big things to justify it to themselves.
In my opinion though, the big difference in seriousness in men vs women cheating is not so much in the who and why, as we are both capable of it, but simply in who cares the most about it.
I think women in general are more able to accept their partner just fucking someone else because most women don't actually care about it as much as they might act like they do (either for leverage or due to social expectations)
An emotional affair would actually hurt them more.
For men though, we FUCKING CARE, a lot, so it's defacto worse when women cheat than when men cheat.
Player's Log / Lounge - ksbms - 02-15-2017
Quote: (02-15-2017 08:02 AM)ksbms Wrote:
Met with a J-girl studying in Scotland from this post, whom I met in a café, talked a few minutes, she seemed quite keen. A bit of a background: I'm white, blue eyes, dark blond hair. To start with, she was straightforward in her replies but always took hours to reply and I didn't get the ball rolling before Monday afternoon.
Met her at 8pm, she was bang on time, tight jeans, mid-high heel boots, all smiles from the get go and throughout the whole date. Went first to non-alcoholic venue, good chat, then bounced to a nearby bar, sat down in a booth, she sat opposite but told her to sit next to me, she did, she was active alcohol drinker, didn't touch a phone for a second. Educated, travelled, and with interesting hobbies, very good English.
No awkwardness at all, things were going smooth, I escalated touching her knees, lower thighs, touching and playing with her hair and grabbing it behind, squeezing her cheek and saying she smiled like a squirrel, then playing with her hands, she was taking it all and all smiles but never really reciprocating apart playfully hitting me with her fist. And that's where first problems came up. When I touched her finger I asked about the ring she wore on her ring finger.
- I got this from my boyfriend who lives in Japan.
I ignored and continued. As she was drinking whisky, some time later I said I was going to kiss her by the time she'd take the last sip and she said:
- No, no, you can't do this, I have a boyfriend.
- I don't plan to be your boyfriend, I replied.
She finished her drink, I went for a kiss, she accepted. It was getting quite late but I didn't feel it was the right moment for extraction. We kissed a few times more, her always accepting but she was passive, though fine with my hand going down her face, neck, and towards her hips but was just sitting there semi-stiff and with her hands together on her lap, her sitting close but never going for it or trying to jump me. She didn't mention boyfriend ever again.
It was near closing time, I wasn't even that horny, she said it was time to go, we stayed a bit more, then I proposed I'd walk her back as she lived in nearby student halls. As we walked I kissed her a couple times on the way back, held her hand for a bit, pushed against the wall, spun around, then in front of the building tried to get in with the classic "I need to pee" but she just led me to a common area. Then I said she could show me around but I had only 5 minutes, though she said she's got flatmates and I didn't push it thinking if I act to needy and it would be a bad sign as I didn't mind one more date. So I interpreted her talking about flatmates she wouldn't like them to see her with me (perhaps they knew she had a boyfriend, if it was truly the case). Then some people arrived at the front door and I saw she felt a bit awkward so I understood she probably wanted discretion so decided it was time to part.
She thanked me for the night, and around an hour later texted it was good to see me again (plus big smiley) and wished a good night. Replied to her midday next day it was nice to meet her as well. Then sent a check-in msg to 10 hours later, no reply so far.
Will I see this J-girl again? Any experts on J-girls would like to chime in - should've been more dominant, poured more alcohol in her and pushed for the lay even though she seemed not ready for extraction?
No suggestions, gents? It's been over 24h since I messaged her so I assume it's dead.