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Dealing with brutal conversation
#1

Dealing with brutal conversation

Common scenario we've all encountered; you're on a date with an 8+ and everything she wants to talk about (how she spends her dads money, feminism, veganism, etc) makes you want to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger, but you are keeping your eye the prize and just nodding away like a bobble head.

Now this isn't the end of the world to put up with when you haven't been laid in a bit, but say you're in SE Asia or somewhere where you can get it daily, or you have backups, but she is still hot enough to where you don't wanna blow it by being yourself.

Any good tricks to change things up (other than going to a comedy club/movies where you don't have to talk) that won't put her off or make you go crazy?

How long do you really give it before saying enough is enough and calling it a night or do you just take your chances and make a hard push to go back to the hotel even if it's most likely "too early"?
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#2

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-08-2018 03:42 PM)finalstep Wrote:  

Common scenario we've all encountered; you're on a date with an 8+ and everything she wants to talk about (how she spends her dads money, feminism, veganism, etc) makes you want to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger, but you are keeping your eye the prize and just nodding away like a bobble head.

Now this isn't the end of the world to put up with when you haven't been laid in a bit, but say you're in SE Asia or somewhere where you can get it daily, or you have backups, but she is still hot enough to where you don't wanna blow it by being yourself.

Any good tricks to change things up (other than going to a comedy club/movies where you don't have to talk) that won't put her off or make you go crazy?

How long do you really give it before saying enough is enough and calling it a night or do you just take your chances and make a hard push to go back to the hotel even if it's most likely "too early"?

Good question - has this exact scenario last month. I chose to argue with her like with a little kid - in a gentle way. Predictably did not get anywhere.

I think you can just make here drunk and try to venue change quickly to see if there is enough attraction so you have to suffer less. I feel none of us can sit idly through this non-sense for more than an hour.
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#3

Dealing with brutal conversation

Isn't it a good thing that she talks about herself? You don't have to work that hard then and try to impress her. No awkward silences. Why not ask her questions so that she talks more about herself? Does it matter what she says? Get close to her and touch her subtly, see if she reciprocates, and slowly, slowly escalate? Two steps forward, one step back. Tease her and ask her to give you a kiss. Maybe easier said than done, could also be for me in such a situation, but you want to eventually sex her, right? Not being a friend that she only talks with.
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#4

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-08-2018 03:55 PM)Hippie Dippie Wrote:  

Isn't it a good thing that she talks about herself? You don't have to work that hard then and try to impress her. Why not ask her questions so that she talks more about herself? Does it matter what she says? Get close to her and touch her subtly, see if she reciprocates, and slowly, slowly escalate?

Maybe easier said than done, also for me, but you want to eventually sex her, right? Not being a friend that she only talks with.

Not really, if I talk about myself I get to talk about shit I care about and can speak intelligently about. If she talks about herself, I have to look interested and listen to some extent so I can reply to it. Being authentic is always easier than being fake (the latter scenario). Yes, sex is the end goal, but that's why I referenced an environment like Vietnam on vacation where it's not much work to get some and time is limited so you don't want to be annoyed for 3 hours sometimes.
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#5

Dealing with brutal conversation

Ok, seems that you're more interested in talking about yourself and things you care about than to seduce her, then. That will be my impression. Seems like you two are not a great match.
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#6

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-08-2018 04:03 PM)Hippie Dippie Wrote:  

Ok, seems that you're more interested in talking about yourself and things you care about than to seduce her, then. That will be my impression. Seems like you two are not a great match.

Lol but if you have decent game or know how to bullshit, talking about yourself is what should impress her, a lot more so than letting her run her mouth spewing the exact same shit she does on every other date. If you do the talking you can make yourself stand out...
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#7

Dealing with brutal conversation

I believe that you make yourself standout if you have the guts to be physical with her. What is your idea of making her hot when doing most of the talking? Don't girls love to talk? At least this one fits that characteristic.
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#8

Dealing with brutal conversation

Depends on the SMV gap between you, but if its close you can argue with her and still get the bang.

If she is higher, than you are right, take the safe road of bobblehead agreement, but at least you are punching (banging) above your weight!

Great question: Would you rather bang a 7 you can be yourself with, or a 9 where you have to play the actor?
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#9

Dealing with brutal conversation

This is a big problem with me. I just had an icebreaker last night off Bumble that started out really strangely because she was the one who asked to meet me after only a few initial messages. Of course, I interpreted that as DTF, but in retrospect, I don't think it was. Anyway, after we got to the bar I fell into the usual cordial job interview style questions. I went fishing for things we might have in common and came up completely empty other than our zodiac sign. By not having anything in common I couldn't see an opening to escalate. I know in some of these situations women may just be looking for a casual F but I find it hard to telegraph my intentions from the start as I want to trust-build and avoid coming across as creepy.
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#10

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-08-2018 03:42 PM)finalstep Wrote:  

Common scenario we've all encountered; you're on a date with an 8+ and everything she wants to talk about (how she spends her dads money, feminism, veganism, etc) makes you want to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger, but you are keeping your eye the prize and just nodding away like a bobble head.

Now this isn't the end of the world to put up with when you haven't been laid in a bit, but say you're in SE Asia or somewhere where you can get it daily, or you have backups, but she is still hot enough to where you don't wanna blow it by being yourself.

Any good tricks to change things up (other than going to a comedy club/movies where you don't have to talk) that won't put her off or make you go crazy?

How long do you really give it before saying enough is enough and calling it a night or do you just take your chances and make a hard push to go back to the hotel even if it's most likely "too early"?

I don't talk much, and I don't really care what they're saying, all women talk incessant drivel, if beer is available I can cope.
But I never expect to wait longer than 2 hours before meeting and banging, so that's how long they have before I pull the plug (or I pass out first).
I'm living in SE Asia, so plenty of women available.
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#11

Dealing with brutal conversation

Nothing worse than a woman yapping about politics. Dates are supposed to be light and fun. If it’s not going in the right direction then it’s going in the wrong direction. Cut your losses and cut her loose. Always be in the position of power. She’s not meeting your expectation? Dump her.

I have a low tolerance for bullshit in my old age.

Team Nachos
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#12

Dealing with brutal conversation

She's a girl, they dont shut up, but here's what you can do.

If you're good with words: Change the topic

If youre bad with words but good with eyes: forget about her story and watch the way she tells it

Deeper V

If you're good with words
Change the topic: it's not hard. use a callback or self deprecating joke to transition out of the boredom. For practice there's a lot of good stuff on youtube with Craig Ferguson. Watch the way he plays with the conversation formula and try it yourself (you'll never be bored of the topic if you get to play with the matrix).

If you aren't good with words but have good eye contact

Change the topic from her story to her: slowly dial up the "fascination" eye contact while dialing down the listening. Start listening to the way she talks, not what she talks about, glance very quickly at her mouth when she smiles, see how her eyes squint or glance at her ears if she moves her hair, study HER (which should be easy if shes an 8+) and express this fascination with your eyes and face. As long as you dont think about anything sexual and just try to observe her idiosyncrasies, she will get the hint that you're not fascinated by the story but still fascinated by her (there's a difference in fascination and horny). Hopefully she will change the topic. Though this whole process sounds long, it can happen over the course of a half a story (3minutes).
For the most part this is better. From her perspective you just passed an unintended shit test. Being interested in her stories gives her temporary validation which she can get that anyone if shes hot. Being interested in who she is and not what shes done sets you apart from the "ooooh ahhh" newbies who she can tell dont give a shit about anything other than her body. It also shows you have standards other than looks (even if you dont) if youre watching the way she acts. Many times this will make her interested in you and she'll start asking about your stories (now you build rapport) Keep in mind the alternative (sitting through her boring story without ^) is a lose lose anyway. If she can tell youre not interested in neither the story nor who she is but you keep trying to push through the convo anyway, it just means youre desperate and hanging around hoping to lay.

Both ways achieve the same thing. Change the topic explicitly with conversation steering or implicitly through sub-communications since you can't just tell her to shut up
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#13

Dealing with brutal conversation

Walk away and raise your standards past beauty.
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#14

Dealing with brutal conversation

Women saying dumb shit while talking about themselves = an opportunity to tease them and make them feel dumb (playfully)
making them laugh at how dumb they are = tingles
tingles = sex

two scoops
two genders
two terms
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#15

Dealing with brutal conversation

Try agreeing with, amplifying and encouraging everything that she says.

It might amuse you if you can manage to do it with a straight face.

It will also get her to check and question her own assertions - thus giving you some much needed relief and breathing space where you can inject some humour.

Good luck.
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#16

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-09-2018 04:00 AM)NomadofEU Wrote:  

Women saying dumb shit while talking about themselves = an opportunity to tease them and make them feel dumb (playfully)
making them laugh at how dumb they are = tingles
tingles = sex

I find teasing the girl as you've described to be very effective depending on her personality type and how attracted to you she is already. It's best to ramp up the playfulness and teasing if the conversation is headed down a dull and logical, interview-style route rather than one of emotion and banter.

With some women this can kill the interaction as they will take it as you're legitimately insulting them. Make sure it's somewhat nuanced, and clear you're teasing and being playful. This requires calibration. If they still take themselves that seriously, those prospects probably aren't worth your time anyway and have a shite sense of humor.
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#17

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-08-2018 06:03 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Great question: Would you rather bang a 7 you can be yourself with, or a 9 where you have to play the actor?

9 without question, but only if she doesn't require more than 2 meetings to bang. I"m not going out 3 times with someone just to get laid
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#18

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-08-2018 04:56 PM)Hippie Dippie Wrote:  

I believe that you make yourself standout if you have the guts to be physical with her. What is your idea of making her hot when doing most of the talking? Don't girls love to talk? At least this one fits that characteristic.

Well again that depends on where you are. In SE Asia girls are very used to guys escalating quickly. I'd say the same in Brazil, even in NYC where I live. Now if you're in a place where moving fast is not common that will make you stand out, but really trying to move in on Thai girl within 10 minutes when most guys may wait 20 is not going to make you stand out.

I mean I can run my mouth pretty well, i'll try to figure out what she's looking for and build a story around it (money, family values, adventure, whatever the hell it is). If the girl hears what she wants to hear she'll become more interested. If you let her run her mouth you'll only stand out if you're well above her lever, in which case it wouldn't matter either way.
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#19

Dealing with brutal conversation

Quote: (10-09-2018 10:28 AM)Player_1337 Wrote:  

Quote: (10-09-2018 04:00 AM)NomadofEU Wrote:  

Women saying dumb shit while talking about themselves = an opportunity to tease them and make them feel dumb (playfully)
making them laugh at how dumb they are = tingles
tingles = sex

I find teasing the girl as you've described to be very effective depending on her personality type and how attracted to you she is already. It's best to ramp up the playfulness and teasing if the conversation is headed down a dull and logical, interview-style route rather than one of emotion and banter.

With some women this can kill the interaction as they will take it as you're legitimately insulting them. Make sure it's somewhat nuanced, and clear you're teasing and being playful. This requires calibration. If they still take themselves that seriously, those prospects probably aren't worth your time anyway and have a shite sense of humor.

I agree with this a 100% if the girl is below an 8 or maybe barely an 8. Teasing a 9+ in my experience can have an adverse effect, because a 9 is typically really subconscious about any little imperfection and often can't laugh about it the same way a less attractive girl can.
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