rooshvforum.network is a fully functional forum: you can search, register, post new threads etc...
Old accounts are inaccessible: register a new one, or recover it when possible. x


Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?
#1

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I've been chatting up this smoking hot girl that works at a coffee shop. I always get a good vibe from her, so I gave her my phone and told her to put her number in. Texted her the next day, continued our playful chit chat and hinted that I'm single. She says she's surprised, and she assumed I had someone. I told her I was surprised she was single too (didn't know if she was or not, just wanted to clear that hurdle). Then she says she's not technically single yet, on the outs with her bf (who knows if that's the case or not.. Don't care, wanna smash anyway)

I invited her out for a drink at a place not far from my house. She said she didn't want to go there because her bf's friends are always there. So I invited her to my place. She said yes (and my boner started doing a happy dance [Image: banana.gif])

She comes over, and after greeting her with a big hug and a tour of the house, I pour us a couple drinks. Conversation and energy vibe is going really well. She's laughing, strong eye contact, open body language, all the stuff you look for when trying to obtain maximum bang potential. She tells me she's on the outs with her bf, recently moved out of his place, back with her parents, etc. but hasn't officially broke up yet. I navigate through the conversation and after changing the subject a couple of times I suggest we grab our drinks and watch a movie on the sofa.

We're settle on the sofa with a movie playing and the good vibe is still there. She doesn't hesitate to sit right next to me so I put my arm around her and pull her in close. Playful conversation continues and she seems very comfortable with me. I start escalating the kino a little bit, look her in the eyes, place my hand on her chin, and pull her in for a kiss. No resistance at all.

After making out a couple of times I invite her to stay the night (it's getting late and I could tell she was feeling sleepy) We go up to my room and get in bed. She cuddles up to me and I start up the kino again. She's getting really turned on, slight moans, heavy breathing.. so I'm thinking IT'S ON.

I try to slide off her panties. She moves my hand away. I play it cool and keep making out with her. Kissing her neck, tits, and start working down her stomach after a few minutes. Again, she tenses up when I get close to her panties. I said, "I want to taste you.." She said she doesn't want to move too fast into anything serious. Then she gets on top of me and kisses her way down to my boner.. and gives me one hell of an awesome bj. I let her go for a while but make her stop when I get too close. I told her I didn't want to cum just yet (big mistake in hindsight..) So I get back on top of her and start grinding my boner through her panties. She's moaning and thrusting, getting really turned on. I ask her to touch herself. She does, and she's enjoying it. Again I tell her "I want to taste you." This time she says "I'm worried that if you do that I won't be able to stop what happens next.."

At this point I'm in a pickle. I really, REALLY want to fuck this girl. And I'm 99% sure I could have. But here's the thing.. (and if you're reading this you're probably going to think I'm a pussy, but whatever) I like this girl. After talking with her for a month or two she doesn't give off any of those typical red flags you always see with twenty-something American women. There's huge LTR potential with her. So in my mind I'm thinking "ok, most likely I can nail her right fucking now.. but what's going to happen tomorrow? Is she going to feel like a slut and think I do this with every cute girl I meet? Is it worth ruining something potentially awesome with this girl for one single night of hot sex?" I've had that happen before with a girl that I really liked and was worried about repeating the mistake.

So I mustered up the willpower to cool things down. I told her I don't want to risk ruining anything if she's not ready, and I see a lot of future potential between us (chode move? Idk..) She seemed really happy and cuddled up to me, with those amazing tits pressed into my chest. My boner was really angry with me.

She stayed at my house the next day. We talked, laughed, went to dinner, came back, watched another movie, and she stayed the night again. But this time she was a little more reserved. I wasn't making much progress beyond kissing. I could sense that she wasn't down for any hanky-panky, so I didn't persist.

This morning we woke up and talked some more. She said she's had a great time the past couple of days, but needs time to get her feelings sorted out (Knowing what this usually means, my boner felt like jumping off a cliff)

So here's my dilemma: Like I said earlier, I like this girl. I see her as true gf potential. Not just a hit it and quit it. I know she's still not technically single, and most of you are probably shaking your heads about that. I get it. And most girls in that situation I wouldn't even consider anything beyond a pump and dump. But this feels different. And I'm conflicted about how to handle it.

So what should I do? Not text her again and forget about her? Continue seeing her and try winning her over with game? How would I play it?

As a die-hard red pill guy (been a lurker on here for years) I can't believe I'm even typing this post. That should tell you something about the qualities I see in her. So far she seems like one of the extremely rare good ones this side of the Atlantic.
Reply
#2

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I bet if you would have fucked her, her hamster would've created the foundation for the relationship you desire. In her mind she would have said: I'm not a slut because he'll be my boyfriend.
Reply
#3

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

That occurred to me because that very thing has worked well for me in the past. But it also bit me with another recent girl. We had a night of hot sex (I know she enjoyed it, she came hard and was eventually too sore to keep going) but the next day she was really off. Her whole attitude towards me changed, and she doesn't talk to me anymore. It was weird. I didn't want that to happen with this new girl
Reply
#4

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I think you've got to just do what feels right. I like that you told her she is long term relationship material. Perhaps now you pull back a bit (not too much) and let her come to you.
Reply
#5

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

You see this chick as having ”true gf potential”/ “[having] huge LTR potential” but said person is technically cheating on their current boyfriend? [Image: dodgy.gif] And that’s only based on what she has told you thus far; who knows what kind of situation she has with her BF and to what extent she is lying or omitting information.

You sound like you got oneitis man. Makes sense… you say she is smoking hot after all. If you weren’t so attached, I’d say press on and go for the bang. But since you sound overly attached, I’d back off a bit and see if shit blows up with her BF in the mean time. I really wouldn’t care too much about her alleged BF situation but I would be concerned with giving yourself a chance to disengage from this chick (i.e. kill your oneitis). Ideally when her situation blows up, you are ready to swoop in with the right frame of mind.

You don’t want to start ANY interaction with a chick (ONS, mini-relationship, LTR, etc) with a serious case of oneitis; it sets the tone for everything that comes thereafter and will do nothing but hurt you in the end.
Reply
#6

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I'll throw my hat in this. Hope you're not a troll.

Quote:Svoboda Wrote:

I bet if you would have fucked her, her hamster would've created the foundation for the relationship you desire.

This is all you need to know right here. This is the mindset you need. Take a leap of faith and internalize it.

I'll take this whole story at your word and give you my take. Hope it helps.

Quote: (10-02-2015 07:38 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

I've been chatting up this smoking hot girl that works at a coffee shop. [. . .]

After making out a couple of times I invite her to stay the night (it's getting late and I could tell she was feeling sleepy) We go up to my room and get in bed. She cuddles up to me and I start up the kino again. She's getting really turned on, slight moans, heavy breathing.. so I'm thinking IT'S ON.

For this half of the encounter, it sounds like you were solid. You went after it, took chances when you had to, and escalated like you should have. Plus it sounds like she was just flat-out into you. If this went down like you say it did, you did a good job.

The only thing you shouldn't have done was said that you were surprised she was single too. She gave you an easy chance to assert your level of value over her's in a subtle way, without you having to risk overgaming. Any time you can get the advantage of having a girl address you as having more MSV, in any way, you grab that shit. Here, you could've just nodded when she said she was single and not said you were surprised too.

Approaching it this way would make it less likely that she would regret letting you bang her quickly, because it is always much easier for a girl to justify having sex with a high(er)-value man. You let go of a chance to clinch this small advantage by putting yourself on an equal footing with her in the conversation.

This could sound minor to you, but girls tend to be very impressionable—if you can genuinely play it like it's not surprising that she's single, she will evaluate her value as a little less yours, making it easier for her to visualize herself with you (as you would be a better catch for her).

That's a lot of explanation for a small point.

Quote: (10-02-2015 07:38 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

I try to slide off her panties. [. . .]

There's huge LTR potential with her. So in my mind I'm thinking "ok, most likely I can nail her right fucking now.. but what's going to happen tomorrow? Is she going to feel like a slut and think I do this with every cute girl I meet? Is it worth ruining something potentially awesome with this girl for one single night of hot sex?" I've had that happen before with a girl that I really liked and was worried about repeating the mistake.

So I mustered up the willpower to cool things down. I told her I don't want to risk ruining anything if she's not ready, and I see a lot of future potential between us (chode move? Idk..) She seemed really happy and cuddled up to me, with those amazing tits pressed into my chest. My boner was really angry with me.

Here's where I think you fucked up. Your were cockblocked by a weak mentality. You let yourself believe what was clearly the signs of LMR (and you even note it as such).

Let me make two points here: 1) sex from cold day approaches is usually a grind when you hit the bedroom (especially with higher quality girls), and 2) the worst mentality you can have as a straight man is that sex with a girl can ever hurt you.

1.) From my experience, when you're dealing with a girl you met in the day (and I run 85% day game, so I see this a lot), for whatever reason, she'll throw up more LMR than a girl you met at night. That's pretty obvious. It might be the alcohol factor, it might be the fact that you're "more real" having met her in the day and that she has already seen you as more than some walking dildo in a club, I don't know.

Whatever the reason, you have to acknowledge the realities of that. Your mind has to be prepared for that extra step of grinding the girl into sex. Having met you in the day, she will be less likely to let herself jump into sex with you. But she has already made up her mind on whether or not she would have sex with you. What's required of you to expose this decision is tenacity, a leap of faith (i.e. put yourself out there and risk getting rejected badly), and attention to what she does versus what she says. Does she want sex? Well, looking at the facts, if this girl sleeps at your house, jumps into bed with you, lets her shirt and shorts get taken off, then yes, she wants sex. And she's in your bed. Why not just go home and have the satisfaction of sleeping in her own bed? That is not a glorified make out session, my man. The girl wants dick.

It's easy as a man to lose sight of that, but you have to be prepared to look at the whole thing objectively. She wants sex. Her dilemma is that she can't just give it to you. So, you deliver the sex the way she wants it, and you start the grind.

That means, starting from the first "no" where she physically shows that she's still available for the option of sex, you work her until she can't resist sex anymore. Or, at least, you make her feel like you did. You keep this up until she's satisfied with your performance in giving her the rationalization of having to just "let" you have sex with her. She tried not to, but it "just happened." The "no" really translates to "not yet."

Of course, it "just happened" because you worked her. You kissed her everywhere, you grinded your dick on her, you slapped her ass while she was on top of you, you sucked her tits, you did everything you could for as long as you had to. You know what else happens when you do that? The sex is even more rewarding.

2.) Having sex with a girl will never hurt your chances of making something happen with a girl.

I know you cite an example that seems to counter this point, but let me assure that outside of that 1% outlier of mentally unstable girls who have sex and then become freaked out and repulsed by the thought of being with you (which are girls who are both incapable of commitment and not LTR material anyway), sex itself will not ruin anything for you. In fact, quick sex is your strongest tool for establishing emotional hooks in a girl.

Society will spit this mantra that sex "complicates things" and that having sex too early can spoil things for a girl. That's complete bullshit. If you have sex with a girl and she drops out of your life, guess what. She was going to anyway. Don't blame the sex. She had sex with you for a reason, and she left you for a reason. If she cited the sex as the reason, then she's lying to you. She probably regretted the sex, sure, but for harsher reasons than you're letting yourself believe. She probably was horny one night but was never really into you enough to want to commit, and with her many options for dick, yours wasn't good enough for her to come back to. Let her go do her thing and realize her mistake, but don't let her fool you into thinking it was the sex that ruined it for her.

What usually happens is the sex itself makes it harder for your normal girl to rationalize leaving you. And back to Svoboda's point. If you banged her, she would have a mental block about not dating you, or at least about not pursuing something more, because then she would have to try to rationalize her slut behavior. If she's a slut, then that won't be too hard because her rationalization capabilities will be so powerful that she'll find a way to disqualify it. But sex will never help the girl disqualify a LTR.

In my experience (along with the experience of many other men), sex makes the girl respect you as someone who can deliver what she wants, and makes her more committed to you.

There's a quote floating around that redbeard brought to my attention last week, and it goes something like this: "Before sex, it's our fight; but after sex, it's the woman's fight." After sex, the girl will often feel obligated to start fighting to keep you from leaving her. So, in a way, society is right when it says that sex complicates things—it puts the ball in her court for once.

Quote: (10-02-2015 07:38 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

She stayed at my house the next day. We talked, laughed, went to dinner, came back, watched another movie, and she stayed the night again. But this time she was a little more reserved. I wasn't making much progress beyond kissing. I could sense that she wasn't down for any hanky-panky, so I didn't persist.

This morning we woke up and talked some more. She said she's had a great time the past couple of days, but needs time to get her feelings sorted out (Knowing what this usually means, my boner felt like jumping off a cliff)

So here's my dilemma: Like I said earlier, I like this girl. I see her as true gf potential. Not just a hit it and quit it. I know she's still not technically single, and most of you are probably shaking your heads about that. I get it. And most girls in that situation I wouldn't even consider anything beyond a pump and dump. But this feels different. And I'm conflicted about how to handle it. [. . .]

As a die-hard red pill guy (been a lurker on here for years) I can't believe I'm even typing this post. That should tell you something about the qualities I see in her. So far she seems like one of the extremely rare good ones this side of the Atlantic.

This last part sounds a lot like you're letting her slip away. That might be just me, but from what you wrote, you're letting this physically de-escalate, you're complicating your course of action, and she's taking time to "sort out her feelings".

Not to sound pessimistic, but all those things sound pretty bad as you wrote them.

The first problem is your mentality. You see her as "valuable," she's "rare" to you, and you're confused because you think that LTR game starts off as different than regular game.

There should be absolutely, positively, no difference in your approach of a girl you want to LTR and a girl you want to "regular" game. Game isn't something that just works on skanks and hoes. Too many guys, for whatever reason, think that gaming a girl that's "really special" or "unique" or "makes me feel good" somehow suddenly become different than gaming any other girl. Here's the key to success with girls you really like—treat the like any other girl.

Deal with her like any other girl, and she'll become any other girl, and then she'll be into you. Then you go into your LTR from there. And if you think that maintaining an LTR requires game fundamentally different from casual sex encounters, you're underestimating things a bit. You'll still see shit tests, still have to keep frame (in fact, you'll have to have stronger frame), still have to assert higher value, still have to deliver adequate dick, still be bold enough to take risks sometimes (hell, even practice brinksmanship when things get too bad), and still show the potential for pursuing options.

That's one example of how LTR game and "regular" game are extremely similar. Really, what's the point of game? It's pretty much to maximize the chances of getting a girl in the modern age. If it was better to let the girl set the pace and treat her like she's special and unique, then wouldn't that be game? Wouldn't that be how guys treat every girl?

What makes a girl willing to have sex with you requires the same fundamental approach for making a girl do anything else for or with you. And that includes—especially includes—LTRs. Girls are more picky and choosy about who they have sex with than anything else. If you can have sex with her, then you can bet that if relationships are an option for her (in this hook-up culture sometimes they won't be), she'll be more likely to be in a relationship with you. And when you get into the relationship, you can't give up your game and think it'll work out like the Notebook. That's an easy way to become one of those angry guys that gets frustrated with any and all relationships.

The thing is, you're already starting to give up your game. You're letting her pull back on the throttle here, and you're letting her control the pace. But, the pace of what? You haven't even had sex with her yet. She's vaguely "sorting out her feelings." There's a chance that she even wrote you off as the kind of guy who is incapable of giving her the quick sex she needs in the manner she wants. So, there's a chance that the opposite of what you thought was going to happen is happening.

I was going to write more but this post is already tl;dr material.

Here's what I would do: try to set up a nice little meet, escalate, and finally have sex with her. That's step 1. If you want, you can rationalize it to yourself as saying that you waited a while to have sex with her. Anything beyond this first step is happy thoughts I think. Kill the king before you sculpt your crown.

Good luck and let us know how it goes. Also, seeing as this thread is your first post, welcome to the forum.

Quote:PapayaTapper Wrote:
you seem to have a penchant for sticking your dick in high drama retarded trash.
Reply
#7

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Quote: (10-03-2015 01:12 AM)Robert Plant Wrote:  

I think you've got to just do what feels right. I like that you told her she is long term relationship material. Perhaps now you pull back a bit (not too much) and let her come to you.

That's what I'm working on now. This whole thing literally just happened yesterday and the day before, so it'll be a little while before I know what's up with her. I think I jumped too far into "nice guy bf" mode after I started seeing her as more than a quick bang. Reverting back to aloof/cf might help recover this a bit.

Quote: (10-03-2015 02:05 AM)The Black Knight Wrote:  

You see this chick as having ”true gf potential”/ “[having] huge LTR potential” but said person is technically cheating on their current boyfriend? [Image: dodgy.gif] And that’s only based on what she has told you thus far; who knows what kind of situation she has with her BF and to what extent she is lying or omitting information.

You sound like you got oneitis man. Makes sense… you say she is smoking hot after all. If you weren’t so attached, I’d say press on and go for the bang. But since you sound overly attached, I’d back off a bit and see if shit blows up with her BF in the mean time. I really wouldn’t care too much about her alleged BF situation but I would be concerned with giving yourself a chance to disengage from this chick (i.e. kill your oneitis). Ideally when her situation blows up, you are ready to swoop in with the right frame of mind.

You don’t want to start ANY interaction with a chick (ONS, mini-relationship, LTR, etc) with a serious case of oneitis; it sets the tone for everything that comes thereafter and will do nothing but hurt you in the end.

Totally agree. I recognized this for what it was while I was doing it. I knew this wasn't my typical behavior when bedding a new hot chick. I broke frame with the hopes that she wouldn't see me as another pump and dump. I done goofed. It messed with my head so bad that I finally made my first post on this forum after lurking for years


Quote: (10-03-2015 02:12 AM)Tex Wrote:  

I'll throw my hat in this. Hope you're not a troll.

That's a fair suspicion since it was my first post. I can assure you I have way too much respect for this community to troll some bullshit. You guys have helped me change my life for the better, even as a lurker on this forum. I tried to stick to the key points in my post. I didn't want to go into every detail and make it two pages long

Quote: (10-03-2015 02:12 AM)Tex Wrote:  

The only thing you shouldn't have done was said that you were surprised she was single too. She gave you an easy chance to assert your level of value over her's in a subtle way, without you having to risk overgaming. Any time you can get the advantage of having a girl address you as having more MSV, in any way, you grab that shit. Here, you could've just nodded when she said she was single and not said you were surprised too..

When she said she was surprised I was single, it was through a text message. The way you suggested handling that would have worked brilliantly in person. I should have found a way to convey that in my text reply.

Everything else you wrote in your reply was money, and well thought out. I really appreciate the effort you guys put into helping each other.

I knew there was a huge chance I was fucking up when I didn't go for it, and opted to wait "until she was ready.." Believe me, I'm still kicking my ass over that. And the example I cited when I banged a girl and she turned cold the next day it very well could have been a fluke. Maybe she had some mental disorder. I don't know. All I knew was that it bit me and I didn't want to risk losing this new girl. After reading your reply, I feel confident in my suspicion that that mindset was a mistake.

Quote: (10-03-2015 02:12 AM)Tex Wrote:  

There's a quote floating around that redbeard brought to my attention last week, and it goes something like this: "Before sex, it's our fight; but after sex, it's the woman's fight." After sex, the girl will often feel obligated to start fighting to keep you from leaving her. So, in a way, society is right when it says that sex complicates things—it puts the ball in her court for once.

This should be implanted in every man's cranium because it conveys so much about the true nature of male/female dynamics, in stark contrast to what our culture tries to have us believe.

Quote: (10-03-2015 02:12 AM)Tex Wrote:  

There should be absolutely, positively, no difference in your approach of a girl you want to LTR and a girl you want to "regular" game. Game isn't something that just works on skanks and hoes. Too many guys, for whatever reason, think that gaming a girl that's "really special" or "unique" or "makes me feel good" somehow suddenly become different than gaming any other girl. Here's the key to success with girls you really like—treat the like any other girl.

The sad thing is, I knew this going into it. I knew it as I was doing it. But I did it anyway. I let my emotions cloud my better judgment

Quote: (10-03-2015 02:12 AM)Tex Wrote:  

Here's what I would do: try to set up a nice little meet, escalate, and finally have sex with her. That's step 1. If you want, you can rationalize it to yourself as saying that you waited a while to have sex with her. Anything beyond this first step is happy thoughts I think. Kill the king before you start sculpting your crown.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

That's what I'm going to try to do. After I wrote my first post, she started texting me again. Asking how my night was going, what I was doing, etc. All good signs. So maybe this story isn't over yet. Pretty sure she's down to hang out again, but I'm currently working night shifts. She asked me when I was off and if I'll be stopping by the coffee shop tomorrow. So for now I'll revert back to the frame that hooked her in the first place, purge my mind of the "LTR nice guy" poison, and go for the bang at the soonest opportunity.
Reply
#8

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Quote: (10-03-2015 04:01 AM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

That's what I'm going to try to do. After I wrote my first post, she started texting me again. Asking how my night was going, what I was doing, etc. All good signs. So maybe this story isn't over yet. Pretty sure she's down to hang out again, but I'm currently working night shifts. She asked me when I was off and if I'll be stopping by the coffee shop tomorrow. So for now I'll revert back to the frame that hooked her in the first place, purge my mind of the "LTR nice guy" poison, and go for the bang at the soonest opportunity.

It sounded like she was very much interested in you right off the bat, so if you can get her back to your place and show some boldness, you should be good.

I'll be monitoring the Just Had Sex Thread to see what happened [Image: wink.gif]

Quote:PapayaTapper Wrote:
you seem to have a penchant for sticking your dick in high drama retarded trash.
Reply
#9

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

She's LTR material because she cheated on her boyfriend with you? Hmmmm... She's a good as a fucksock, just considering that alone.
Reply
#10

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Quote: (10-03-2015 05:09 AM)Rawmeo Wrote:  

She's LTR material because she cheated on her boyfriend with you? Hmmmm... She's a good as a fucksock, just considering that alone.

If I was in your position reading what I wrote I would hands-down agree with you.

But let me ask you this..

How long are quality girls actually single? Especially if they're extremely attractive? This girl has been in a relationship with her bf for several years. She hasn't been a carousel rider. I confirmed this through conversation with several mutual friends. Based on my experience, when a quality girl is single, you've got a window of maybe a week (give or take) before she gets swooped up again. Maybe as a rebound or by someone who's been chatting her up while things were going south with her bf. She's got a million options.

I know it sounds like I'm pedastalizing, and maybe I am a little. Hard to say. But here's my situation. I live in a small town area where every bar has an atrocious ratio. There might be one or two decent looking girls and they're always surrounded by available cock. The rest are fatties. To get a quality girl in my area you not only have to look good, have some game, status, and good energy.. your timing also has to be perfect.

So yeah, ideally maybe I should have waited until things were completely over with her current bf. But given the situation I'm in I feel like I'm doing the right thing: Making my move early before another guy comes along offering some good dick to comfort her "broken heart"
Reply
#11

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Quote: (10-03-2015 04:08 AM)Tex Wrote:  

It sounded like she was very much interested in you right off the bat, so if you can get her back to your place and show some boldness, you should be good.

I'll be monitoring the Just Had Sex Thread to see what happened [Image: wink.gif]

Fingers crossed I'll have a juicy update to post in there within the next week or two [Image: banana.gif]
Reply
#12

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

One other thing that's occurred to me, and some feedback on this thought would be very helpful.

The first night she was at my house and things were getting steamy in the bedroom, she also said she didn't want things to go too far because she'd feel bad. Things were not "officially" off with her bf. Yeah she did move all her stuff out of his house and back with her parents, etc. But she had yet to make it official with him that it was over. That didn't stop me from continuing to try and plow through. All the way to the point where I was 99% convinced that she was going to let me start slamming them sweet sugar walls. I don't believe the average guy from my area would have been able to get close to this point with this girl. Most are unwashed slobs with no game, style, or boldness. And she's a dime in the sea of fatties that infest my area.

We all know that women will say anything during LMR as anti-slut defense. Been there many times and successfully navigated their obstacles to win the prize. But when it comes to a quality, non-carousel riding girl who has spent most of her post-pubescent life with only ONE guy.. is it possible that her LMR objections and "wanting to wait until she feels right about it" are actually sincere? In this rare circumstance, is it ever better to take her feelings seriously and show that you're not just looking for a quick piece?
Reply
#13

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

[Image: malehamster.gif]
Reply
#14

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I know it looks like hamstering to seasoned players who may or may not live in areas with an abundance of beautiful women to game. But in small town America, we don't always have that luxury. Saying "next" without exhausting all possible options likely leads to a very long dry spell, with the horrific possibility of having to harpoon a slump buster
Reply
#15

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Quote: (10-03-2015 07:58 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

I know it looks like hamstering to seasoned players who may or may not live in areas with an abundance of beautiful women to game. But in small town America, we don't always have that luxury. Saying "next" without exhausting all possible options likely leads to a very long dry spell, with the horrific possibility of having to harpoon a slump buster

I’ve lived in small town America so I hear what you’re saying. It’s NOT the land of thin wholesome submissive chicks that a lot of guys think it is. More like tatted up single moms and fat/low class/trashy chicks where the few gems left town or married their high school sweetheart (and who will likely be a fat single mom before 25). I understand the thirst when you are living in a true pussy Siberia.

That said, the issue is you are (were?) too emotionally invested and your frame is/was fucked; although the damage sounds largely internal and hasn't adversely affected your interaction with the chick. Not yet at least and therefore, you can still recover. Tex wrote up an extensive post to help you out. Ignore it and other people’s advice at your own peril. You think your town sucks? Wait until you knock up this chick in the heat of the moment due to your “strong feelings” and you’re trapped there. I've seen it happen many times.

Again, I get it man.... just be careful and don’t let the thirst make you do something stupid and/or ignore red flags.
Reply
#16

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Tex's write-up was epic. I'm taking his advice and everyone else's. I knew i fucked up my frame, that's why I was seeking the advice. Reverting back to the charming aloof cat is how I've been playing it, and it seems to be getting her tingles back. We're meeting up again next week (the soonest I could arrange it around my work schedule)

And I'm a member of the vasectomy crew.. no heat of the moment bundles of joy for me to worry about [Image: wink.gif]
Reply
#17

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

OP, any update on the story?
Reply
#18

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I can feel for you SomeFcks, I really believe it can go either way if you push too hard too early with a quality chick. (I have lost a few from too much too hard as well)

You went with your gut, and maybe your values, so no shame there.

Good luck, you are still in the game, keep us informed!
Reply
#19

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I've been gaming other girls and getting some bangs here and there, so the oneitis with this one has been cured and I got my head back on straight. I was keeping her in "mass text mode" these last few months, sending pics of cool stuff I was doing. Caribbean trips, motorcycle rides, etc. She has a bf so the vibe has been pretty subdued.. until 2 weeks ago. I was on a trip out of the state and she texted me out of the blue asking if I wanted to get together. Unfortunately I couldn't. She asked me again last Friday night, but I was working. My spidey senses are telling me that she's on the outs with the bf again and looking to monkey branch with me. If a bang is in the cards I'm ok with being the rebound guy [Image: wink.gif] Hopefully my unavailability hasn't caused the moment pass.. female emotions are very fleeting. I'll invite her out next time I have some time off.
Reply
#20

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Quote: (03-27-2016 02:29 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

I've been gaming other girls and getting some bangs here and there, so the oneitis with this one has been cured and I got my head back on straight. I was keeping her in "mass text mode" these last few months, sending pics of cool stuff I was doing. Caribbean trips, motorcycle rides, etc. She has a bf so the vibe has been pretty subdued.. until 2 weeks ago. I was on a trip out of the state and she texted me out of the blue asking if I wanted to get together. Unfortunately I couldn't. She asked me again last Friday night, but I was working. My spidey senses are telling me that she's on the outs with the bf again and looking to monkey branch with me. If a bang is in the cards I'm ok with being the rebound guy [Image: wink.gif] Hopefully my unavailability hasn't caused the moment pass.. female emotions are very fleeting. I'll invite her out next time I have some time off.

Good to hear you're doing well.
I like stories that have a happy ending.
Reply
#21

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Date is set up for tomorrow evening.. if she doesn't flake. Seems promising though, we originally set it up for Wednesday and she asked if we could bump it up to tomorrow. So maybe that's a good sign.
Reply
#22

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

Quote: (03-28-2016 09:14 PM)SomeFcksGiven Wrote:  

Date is set up for tomorrow evening.. if she doesn't flake. Seems promising though, we originally set it up for Wednesday and she asked if we could bump it up to tomorrow. So maybe that's a good sign.

Howd it go?

[Image: popcorn3.gif]

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
Reply
#23

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

I'd say 99% of my LTRs started with a bang on the first or second date. If you would have banged her, this wouldn't be an issue. From here, I would run standard aloof game. Do your thing and don't burn any bridges. Don't next her, just communicate sporadically. I have found that I usually get bangs with chicks who I ignore some of the time.

I would also proceed with caution. Even though things were not "officially" over with the BF, she had your cock in her mouth.

Finally - there are PLENTY of quality single girls out there. If your view is that all the high quality gals have been scooped up, your social circle is not large enough.
Reply
#24

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

It went.. ok. I had her meet me at my house, and we left together from there. This usually sets up logistics in a favorable way in that she HAS to come back to my place at the end of the night. We went out for drinks, but she only had two and switched to water. I avoided all "relationship" talk and didn't discuss her bf. She didn't even try to bring up the subject this time. I kept the conversation flirtatious and fun, using some kino here and there to gauge her receptiveness. She reciprocated a little but not much, so I didn't go overboard with it. On our drive back to my place I invited her in for another drink. She declined saying she had to be up early. Closed with a makeout before she got in her car.

The best way I can describe my gut feeling about her attraction towards me is "cautious interest." No doubt there's attraction there, but with some reservation. Could be the bf, something about me, I'm not really sure. I remained aloof and playful during the date and was careful not to say or do anything that could get me friend-zoned.

I'll hit her up in again in a week or so, giving ample time to see if she initiates first. In the meantime, I'm still getting new leads. I'm not betting the farm on this one. Since she already cheated on her bf with me, that's a pretty big red flag.


Quote: (03-31-2016 06:38 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  

I'd say 99% of my LTRs started with a bang on the first or second date. If you would have banged her, this wouldn't be an issue. From here, I would run standard aloof game. Do your thing and don't burn any bridges. Don't next her, just communicate sporadically. I have found that I usually get bangs with chicks who I ignore some of the time.

I would also proceed with caution. Even though things were not "officially" over with the BF, she had your cock in her mouth.

Finally - there are PLENTY of quality single girls out there. If your view is that all the high quality gals have been scooped up, your social circle is not large enough.

I've also found this to be true. With an occasional rare exception, most of my LTRs have been after first or second date sex. And regarding the social circle, yeah it could definitely be better. I live in the sticks, and although this doesn't make it impossible to have a large social circle, it does make things more difficult. Most of the people who live here have known each other since high school and aren't always the most receptive to outsiders. Hence the reason I do so much online dating.
Reply
#25

Last Minute Resistance and blown game.. recovery possible?

If a girl comes over to your house why would you take her on a date outside of your house? It was a perfect moment to have some wine or prepare her a cocktail at your place. You had perfect logistics, and then you took her out.

Either way put her down as a low hanging fruit. Next time do not take her out on a date. Either your place, or pick her up and take her to your place. The lesser the investment the better, and the less it shows you give a shit.

I agree don't contact her for at least a week. Ideally completely forget her existence and get her to contact you next time she's desperate.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)